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First Year-Chapter 31
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I could see tears welling in her eyes as she pleaded, “Helena, please understand I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Bette, you’ve said it enough. You can’t and you won’t.”
“If this means you don’t want me to help you chose your art then I understand.”
“No, I still want you to help me. Please accept my apology for making you feel uncomfortable. I just thought…”
I just stared at her as she began to pace again and bite her nails. I was beginning to recognize this as a trademark anxious maneuver of hers. Whenever she was anxious and uncomfortable, she would fall into this as a mechanism for distraction. I hated that I was the reason for her discomfort. There was incredible chemistry and attraction between us but I couldn’t or at least wouldn’t force myself on her before she was ready or willing to accept it. Perhaps I was the one who was fooling myself but I believed with that kiss, and the way her body responded to me, it was just a matter of time. Well at least I hoped, it was just a matter of time.
“Bette, I promise you. I won’t do that again.”
“Helena, I don’t mean to lead you on. I’m sorry if I did.”
“Don’t worry. I thought I felt something that you are telling me is not there or at least you don’t want to be there.”
She looked at me with such sadness in her eyes. I hadn’t seen that look since we first began talking and being friends. I hated the thought that I crossed some forbidden boundaries that now was causing her ditress. I tried to reassure her. “I won’t let that happen again. I still want you to help me chose the art work. I hope you will. I would hate to think you are going to be uncomfortable around me.”
She nodded her head. “It’s not your fault Helena. I acknowledge my role leading up to that kiss. But there can be no more. Do you understand?”
“I do but I don’t. Don’t worry. I would never ask you to do something do don’t want to do or feel comfortable about doing. I would never force myself on you. You don’t need to fear that ever.”
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Hello My Passionate Friend… NEVER compromise who you are… NEVER… you are telling a story that only you can tell… these are characters that each of us is familiar with in passing… but it is up to us… YOU to be the architect of your own mythology and world… you are one of the most gifted writers I have had to privilege to call my ‘Friend’ and each time we share words I am reminded just why I love this writing thing… you are in my thoughts and prayers forever… keep safe… keep healthy love you… JC
Excellent post…You could absolutely feel the ease and the chemistry between the two of them. I can definitely hear where both of them are coming from…..the falling walls…the re-erecting of walls and can’t vilify either one. I’m glad Helena was able to speak intelligibly after all of that blushing…and mind wandering and her dating will definitely be interesting. Looking forward to how all of this unfolds. Well worth the wait!
i soooooo luv this story, and i have waited not so patiently i might add for another update. i check every day for your name before i read everything else, and when i finally see you posted, my bestfriend arrives for us to go ride our harley’s and i almost had a heart attach having to wait yet again! But as usual it was worth the wait, luved the kiss, please, pretty please post again sooooooonnnnnnn!
That was a great post and I loved how long it was. Yes, this Bette is so different but she will probably come around to her true feelings. Their interactions were terrific. PPS
S I was quite happy to see this new chapter up, and yes I know that life get’s in the way, but hopefully thnigs are good again for you. I really liked this chapter becuase at least Helena and Bette got to kiss and Bette liked it,but I liked how it ended becuase it was and they would be friends still and liked how that Helena decided to date and would not wait for Bette, cause she would wait for Bette to come to her,,,,loved that!!!
Awwwwwww, Bette was so cute and excited about the whole art shopping trip but once again Helena let’s her libido take control and spoils everything. I was looking forward to their shopping trip now it will just be all awkward. I don’t think Rick warrants all the hate coming his way. There hasn’t been enough info on him for me to form a negative opinion. Well at least Helena understand that pursuing Bette is the wrong thing to do and decided to move on. It looks like our girl is growing up after all.
Hey S, Loved this update although Hels didnt get what she wanted entirely it was nice to see she had abit of a taste of what could have been or still could be. I hope you update soon dont leave us all hanging lmao.Take care C x
Some of the conversation between Helena and Bette kind of reminded my of Dylan and Helena, this is entirely coincidental. Bette is no Dylan and it was not meant to make you think of that pairing. Sorry if it did.
I do not dislike this Bette. I actually like her. It is quite obvious that it is more than curiosity, what she felt for Helena. I just hope that this all end’s well for both of them. With what I have read about Ric, I don’t think she treats Bette the way she should be treated. Helena can do better. Thanks for the post. I absolutely loved it! :)
I love the tension between the two of them! I rarely comment on stories but this one has me hook, line and sinker! Please keep up the good work, loved it!
You can lead a horse to water…Well, Bette’s nervous and has some things to get used to. And she needs to grow up a little more and decide to live her own life, not the one she thinks will make Daddy, or society, happy. She needs to live the life that will make her happy. Now just what exactly does Helena mean by ‘dating’?
This is, IMO, the best story on this site at this time. It is the combination of the detailed and intelligent narrative coupled with meaningful dialogue that makes it so wonderful for me. It does take time to read and digest but it is a delight to savor. They say that one should write about what one knows and obviously the background of medical residents is near to your heart and brain. Maybe that is what makes this story so appealing, that is, you write with both your heart and brain. Rick treats Bette somewhat as her father treats her and that is her weakness. If she breaks off w/Rick then it is an insult to her father??? Does Bette want tradition and convention? She is drawn to Helena as a person until those red flags pop up that prevent her from taking her feelings further. But maybe if Rick treats her poorly then…….? A girl can always hope. ;-) Please PASP.
Mah-vuh-lus that was simply a marvelous chapter..he, B has to understand her feelings and you can’t begrudge her that-she needs a little time…can’t wait to read about some of H’s dates and how will B respond…will she be jealous???
I agree with azmama. Best story on this site at this time. Bette has alot to think about. Loved the kiss, can’t wait for more.
OMG I can’t believe you posted this when I don’t have time to read it, I will be distracted until I can get back here tonight. UGGGGGGGGGGGG, I did get to page 5 and am loving it. Thank you for now, Md aka Oma and thanks for the shout out.
Wow! Well this was well worth the wait!! I was blessed with some scintillating Belena action…although I secretly wished for a different outcome, I think that the writing follows the characterizations you have crafted so well. Bette is dependent on the approval of her father. Until she learns to stand independent of his wishes and finds her own personal autonomy, she will remain unable to join with Helena – even for the sake of curiosity. Rick certainly doesn’t treat her well and she does deserve better. Unfortunately, she must figure this out for herself and no amount of convincing on Helena’s part would be of assistance. I am intrigued as to Helena’s new dating partners…dare I hope for some steamy scenes in the near future???
I missed this story. PPS
im lovin your work squirl! i do hope bette doesn’t go back to acting weird round helena again, i absolutely loved this chapter and please don’t leave it as long to post the next one!
Argh…dating, NO! Squirl is this what you meant about getting what i ask for. Bette and Helena kiss – Awesome! but then Bette freaks out, which is understandable but the unlucky result is that Helena is now going to wait for Bette to come to her. But maybe this new tactic will ahve surprising results and work for Helena. Afterall, Bette did get jealous when one of the Papi flirted with Helena so maybe this is just the passive push that Ms. Porter needs. Thanks for another great update but now I’m on the esge of my sit to see how things go down on Bette and Helena’s next encounter. And how will Bette act when Helena and Rick are around one another, will Rick notice the sparks b/w the two of them? PPS!
Sooooooooooo worth waiting for and the extra day was tourcher. I think Helena took a very health attitude but feel like Bette is going to be in limbo for quite a while. Yep, she’s just going to have to go around singing “I kissed a girl and liked it” until she figures it out. I am glad they talked it out and Bette didn’t freek and run off. Funny I didn’t think this sounded anything like it had a Dylan undertone. You can count on my “bumping you” often when we don’t here from you. Take care of you THIS WEEK. Thank you, Md aka Oma
I’ve been anxiously waiting for this post! Absolutely loved it! I am very fond of this Bette as well, I don’t think Rick is giving her the tlc she deserves, but she’ll have to see that for herself. Brilliant story Squirl, PPS!
Loved it! And Bette acted the way I thought she would. So now she’ll need some time to think about it and what this may mean to her and all she thought she believed in. Bette it’s time to grow up. I just hope this Melvin is nothing like the one in the show. And lastly Helena has the right idea. Go out on some dates! And since we know Bette is the jealous type, this just maybe the push she needs to follow her heart. And go get her woman!
Finally, Helena is going to see what the dating world has to offer (like I’ve said she should do in previous posts)- but for all the wrong reasons. She should be dating because she wants to open herself up to the possibility of love, not because she wants Bette to see what she’s missing. It’s not fair to the people she’s dating and it’s certainly not fair to herself. Is she going to divulge to her dates the fact that she’s only dating to distract herself from the person she’s pining away for? She won’t get very far. Just when I think she’s making a grown up decision, she’s doing anything but. She has to make this decision to date for herself, for her heart, not because she wants to make someone jealous. Love the story. You continue to make me come back for more. Thanks.