“SHANE?” Alice yells from her seat in front of me trying to get my attention

“oh sorry got lost in my thoughts”

“Well you got enough time to do that later, so now eat and listened to me” I didn’t even noticed that my food was in front of me.

“yea sorry” I started eating and Alice started talking.. nothing new about that

“Well Tina committed suicide”

“Wait what?” I stopped eating

“Yea she committed suicide because she knew she wasn’t coming out any time soon and Bette didn’t talked to her after she shitted on her with her jail mate Marina” Alice always knew everything about everything… I don’t know how she does it but she does

“Shit… how’s Bette taking the news?”

“Awful… I mean come on, the one she loves shitted on her and then commits suicide…”

“Damn…Poor Bette”

“yea… Cant believe she committed suicide I mean.. Let someone kill you, I’m sure here you will find a lot of woman willing to do it for you” Alice said. My mom committed suicide, and my father after that. I don’t think suicide is actually a option of dying… when you die its like you’ve done what you needed to do on earth. Your purpose… so when you commit suicide its an escape… is something a coward would do… you do not die complete.

“Suicide is easy like jumping into the big blue air…and waving hello to god…God is love, but he doesn’t necessarily drop everything to catch you…. does he? So when you hook the hose up to your tailpipe…don’t expect to wake up and get toast for breakfast… the toast is you.” Alice has that look again of trying to understand what the fuck I’m saying

“…You know Shane… you are a weirdo” and we both continue eating

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“She did 30 days for one glazed doughnut… a half a dolar doughnut, if it had been rock and roll she could have thrown sofas out the window, hotel window. No not even her own sofa, she could throw somebody else’s sofa out the window. You don’t know what kind of passersby at the bottom, she could have been hitting people. It wouldn’t have mattered but when you’re playing to a Christian family like she was you as so much as forget to pay for a damn doughnut… and they throw you out like a piece of shit” sometimes I wonder who is the weirdo of the two of us