Fan Fiction
This story has been set to a rating of PG. Age verification is required to proceed.
Go Ask Alice
Login to add story to favorites
(39 votes, average: 2.41 out of 5)You need to be a registered member to rate this post.
Loading ...
ALICE
Yeah, dr. hottie bitch. She’s so scammin’ on you.
Did you date her?
RUNNER
Twice.
ALICE
Date as in fuck?
RUNNER
Alice!
ALICE
What? Don’t give me that. Did you fuck Dr. Big Boobs?
RUNNER
No. We dated twice…
ALICE
And?
RUNNER
And, she was a freaky Republican. She wasn’t funny…
ALICE
Well you’re conservative.
RUNNER
But, I’m not a Republican.
ALICE/RUNNER
Thank God.
ALICE
And that’s another thing…you’re weird.
RUNNER
Oh come on. Weirdish maybe, but not weird.
ALICE
Yeah, now I’ve got it. You’re weird. You’re like the only
lesbian in the world who can spot a bad relationship at 100-yards
and not want to back her u-haul into it. You’re weird.
RUNNER
Cautious maybe, but not weird.
ALICE
No, weird in a good way. You’re like a fucking girl scout.
You don’t swear. You can’t even say fuck. Say fuck.
RUNNER
Frick.
ALICE
See.
RUNNER
What? I just like to keep the F-U-C-K in the bedroom.
ALICE
Really? Ok, no, I mean…you’re weird and shit. Stable.
You’re not crazy. You’re conservative but you don’t want
to kill anybody or ship them off to war. You’re like this saint.
Fuckin’ G, you did Doctor’s without Boarders. You’re an
emergency room physician, Runner. You rescue people. It doesn’t
get any better than you. And me, I kinda have a big mouth problem.
RUNNER
Kind of?
ALICE
Yeah I’m always shooting it off. It gets me into trouble…
RUNNER
Uh huh.
ALICE
And you don’t crucify me for it. You just get me.
RUNNER
And I know what I want. And I’m not Tasha. Come on Piezacki.
ALICE
Ok, you still can’t say my name right. Pie..P-I-E…
RUNNER
And I’m not Dana.
ALICE
I don’t want to talk about that.
RUNNER
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Look at me Alice, this isn’t easy for me either. Nobody wants to get their heart broken and stamped into little pieces. But, for frick’s sake, I’m taking this one instant and pouring my heart out to you. Just me. Just Greer Kinnard.
ALICE
Who the frick is Greer?
RUNNER
Runner’s a nickname.
ALICE
Why do they call you runner?
[Runner moves in to kiss Alice.]
RUNNER
It’s a long story. May I kiss you?
ALICE
Well….[laughing softly]
RUNNER
Please?
ALICE
Ok, although I do like it when you beg.
[Runner kisses Alice softly on the lips and slowly makes her way down Alice’s cheek to her neck.]
RUNNER
Feel good?
ALICE
Oh, my God. Ok…you can call me anything you want.
Piazkewki, Pia Zadora, Pinneaple. Just keep doing that
thing on my neck.
[Things get heavy. Alice suddenly gets up, adjusts her outfit, snatches her bag and begins to leave.]
RUNNER
Alice? What’s wrong? Alice!
ALICE
I’ve gotta get out of here.
RUNNER
Alice!
ALICE
Damn Runner, I just can’t do this again.
[Runner stands in the middle of the room. In a sudden burst of anger she kicks an empty wine glass. She grabs her foot and winces in pain.]
RUNNER
Frick. FUCK! FUCKKKKKK!
FADE OUT.
Comments
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Not sure if you realize this but your title has a history…Google it!
ha. nice title, and i like this little bit that you gave us. please continue with the story.
Interesting start…I say run with it! Thanks!
Okay I’m really confused…if Greer is Tina’s cousin, why is her name Greer Porter/Kennard? Otherwise, it’s kinda interesting. A little confusing but it could go places.
Oh, I think I smell her shortcoming… she runs everytime trouble comes up, right? (duh, pandakse) Nway, I like this really. Because, although I support Tasha, Alice is so boring with Tasha. She even said it herself. I miss hilarious Alice….. :( So plz keep writing! Go, Runner! lol