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Going Home
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“I’d like to come in, see Angelica.” Bette put the car in park but left the engine running, keeping the air conditioning on against the heat that had lasted long into the night. “If it’s okay with you, of course.”
“I’m not sure if it’s such a good idea.”
“Tina,” Bette reached out a hand and stroked Tina’s cheek.
“I don’t want it to seem like I’m withholding Angie. If you want to come up, you can.”
“But?”
“But,” Tina started to speak, then shook her head as if to clear it. “But we still have a problem being alone together. I have a problem being near you and not being with you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know. I know. I’m just feeling like I’m in a shitty place right now.”
“Because I’m still with Jodi?” Bette’s hand dropped from Tina’s cheek, and took hold of Tina’s hand.
“Because of that. Because Jodi’s going on the ride. It’s hard for me, Bette.”
“It’s difficult for me, too, Tina. But if we just wait. We, our family, our lives are worth the wait, aren’t they?”
This comment made Tina smile. “Yes, they are.”
“You can do this, Tina. You’re strong. So much stronger than I ever gave you credit for while we were together.”
“Bette.”
As Bette met Tina’s glance she could see the tears welling in the other woman’s eyes. One fell free. Bette dabbed it away with her thumb. “Please, let me say this. Please?”
On the second request, Tina gave a nod. Her approval for Bette to continue.
“This strength used to scare me. Like when you were pregnant, when we first came back together, when we first made love. You were different; it was unsettling. I went to Dan, told him about it.”
“You never said…”
With the words, Bette placed a finger to Tina’s lips. Softly. A request, not a demand, for silence.
“This strength scared me. When I lost my job I thought it could sustain me, but I realized later that some of your strength comes from a need to protect yourself, to protect Angelica, in a way that I couldn’t.” At this admission, Bette’s eyes also began to shine with unshed tears. “That I if I had been involved with you, with us, rather than just reeling in my own shit then you would have worked with me rather than protecting yourself from my penchant for destruction.”
Tina’s tears continued. Her lips trembled, but she remained silent.
“I see you now, on the set, how much everyone depends on you. I see you with Angelica. I see you, Tina. Maybe for the first time, I see you and I know that we’re going to be okay.”
To this, Tina nodded.
“Okay?” Bette reinforced the question.
In an answer, Tina reached out, stroking Bette’s cheek before kissing her, tenderly, upon the lips.
Moments after the kiss began it moved from tender to needful, each woman seeking a deeper connection before, finally, Tina pulled away.
“We’ve each done things, Bette. To each other. For ourselves.”
“I’m just asking this one more thing from you, Tina. Please? Just time.”
“Of course. But it’s still hard for me.”
“I know.” Bette picked up Tina’s hand in her own. “It’s hard for me, too. It is.” She placed a light kiss in the palm. “But we’re figuring it out.”
“I should go.” Tina motioned back towards her loft. “Are you coming up?”
“You were right. I don’t think I should.”
Tina nodded, knowing that it was the right move for each of them.
“But if you’re shut down again, consider bringing Angie by to swim. I’m going to be in meetings all of tomorrow.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Okay.” Bette placed one more kiss on the back of Tina’s hand. “Okay?”
“Yeah.” Tina reached over once more, placing a chaste kiss on Bette’s lips. “Good night.”
“To you, too.”
Bette sat in the car waiting to see that Tina got inside. What an exhausting day. And now, home. Where Jodi waited.
Even so, the knowledge that sometime, and soon, she was going to have to stop being a coward, start confronting her life was made easier by knowing that at the end of that difficult path, Tina waited. Angelica waited. What she had to go through now was just part of doing what was necessary. Necessary to go home.
(the end)
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Well allrighty then
”I see you, Tina. Maybe for the first time, I see you and I know that we’re going to be okay….” Quick, pseud, Before the S5 DVDs are finalized please bribe the editing crew to delete the original elevator dialogue and dub in all of yours. Thanks.
well i loved it. i believe you can do anything for as long as necessary if its the right thing to do. thx
What makes Bette so self-destructive? When she said that last nite, I started thinking… is this the answer to one of the why??? Enjoyable as always Pseud!!! Tks
Bette needs to stop being a coward,get her stuff together, and go home. Go home to her two girls. thanks
awesome per your usual.
I think Bette is absolutely right – she is a big coward. I see no sensible reason for her to delay breaking up with Jodi, and in fact it seems like she’s not being fair to anyone by playing it this way. You’re right p, we never saw a strong Tina at first. Glimpses of her strength once Bette was no longer pulling the strings, but her show of strength has been more refreshing this year. Being Tinaddicted of course helps me reach these conclusions…I’m sure you relate.
i really think i’m going to just read your version(s) of S5 instead of watching the “real” thing. They are so much more poignant, believable, riveting, and, well, just better. Thanks for giving us this.
Loved it so powerful! :)
That was great. Don’t give up on the comments; sometimes your writing leaves people speechless. Always looking forward to your posts.
Always, I enjoy reading your story, please keep writing your words are worth reading.
I enjoyed this even without sex.Many people complained that there wasn’t enough or time given for the sex part of the scene.Bette needs to come clean already.
This was more than ok. Its always a look into the motives of the characters when you write, and I appreciate it everytime you post. thx!
Again…you’re finishing a scene that we would all love to see. Why can’t you write for IC??? PPS Love what you have to say about these two.
I missed the show (no showtime and now no youtube) so I am not spoiled, yet. I am glad that they have opened up and hope that the time comes soon for them to be a family for the first time.
Pseud, your Tibette episode snippets are always so well thought out and profound. They make me re-evaluate the scenes that I have watched the night before. Sometimes you surprise me with a different spin than I saw and sometimes you fill in the blanks that they seemed to leave out. But everytime I read something tat you have written, I am astounded at your ability and purely entertained. I hope you’re not thinking of not writing anymore. I would seriously miss you!
i understand why bette is taking time to break up with jodi but i don’t understand why it’s taking so damn long LOL
That was awesom. I just caught up with your last couple of stories and thet are always great. PPS. Thanks for taking the time.
This was so Great!!!! Pseud, I have read everything you have written. I so love the way you write. Thank you
Loved thi schapter, they so need to pay attention to what they are doing and why. Love them being together but Bette needs to get rid of Jodi first, so that no one has a guilty conscience. Jodi knows that something is amiss, bette just needs to come clean with her and let her know so they can both move on. Keep writing for us please. PPS
I’ve been giving this some thought. I’m trying not to strain myself. But yes, thinking was involved. I’ve taken the number of “registered users” and “guests”, in addition to those who choose to remain hidden at any given moment and did a little analysis. At this moment in time, the readers on the site include 41 registered, 9 hidden, 193 guests. Using those numbers, 79.42% of users *can’t* comment, because they’re not registered. Why, we ask in unison? Well, maybe they’re on a shared computer and don’t want a user name registered on a lesbian site. Maybe they’re at work. The amount some people read, you gotta admit, some of it is happening on the clock. Maybe they’re on a mobile device. Crackberry does not lend itself to commenting. You get your hit and your gone, hence the nickname of the unit. This, as I write it, is your 27th comment. Do you realize that you are getting a phenomenal number of able users commenting on your story? Given the fact there are some repeatedly visiting, and that the 9 hidden are also able to comment…You’re kickin’ ass and taking names in the comment department. And don’t get me started on story views. Let’s just say it’s up there. Your time is appreciated and so are your stories. Stats don’t lie. Just statisticians.
I haven’t read any fanfics in ages, and today since I finally had the time, I thought why not. and the first one to read is yours. I wasn’t really planning on reading the comments but I couldn’t resist knowing if everyone else loved this as much as I did. and thanks to justkeepswimming’s stat for making me come out of lurkdom and comment. :)
Beautifully and brilliantly well written, reading your chapter made me so eager to see the next episode, thank you so much for this. Post another soon
yeah good lines …’i see you tina’!!!!…nice pseud.
I really enjoy these one-offs. They seem to be easier to do this season as opposed to 2 years ago when all the tension was taxing.
***sigh***If only we could get this type of dialogue going in the show. Bette needs to end things with Jodi and go home. Great one-off.
great stuff! i’ve said this before, but you write tina SO well. the pain she’s feeling at being in this in-between place is so palpable in your story. bette stop being a coward already!btw, whatever happened to the post 506 story? it had one of my favorite fanfic lines ever in it, about them falling in love with better versions of their former selves. i can’t find it anymore!
You should write the script for the show. Your characters sound more real and they talk, so natural. Thanks for this post. We really enjoyed it. Sincerely, Lucero & Marsha – From Mexico City
I love Bette sharing how she sees Tina as the strong woman she is and loves her more after realizing all the crap that happened to them. Fantastic chapter!
I don’t usually leave comments, not because I don’t like the stories. Just because I’m sometimes so moved that i don’t trust my words to express it. I love what you do with season 5, even though I am Bette addicted^^
Lovely insight into what is going on behind the scenes with Bette and Tina. I wish their talk in the elevator had been more like the one you described. Although i certainly wouldn’t have minded to see a longer Tibette sex scene what really kept me glued to this episode was them talking. They so need to start comunicating more. Though i guess they get each other’s subtext beneath the actual text, lol. Your line about the comments, the not bothering to ask for them because it didn’t matter anyway kind of got to me. So hey, you see, it does matter :D Thank you so much for the time and effort you put into writing this. I loved it. I hope you write more snippets of their lives, sex or no sex, lol.