Part 2

The car drove off quickly and the noise of the engine eased from second to second.

Just the drumming sound of the rain drops which fell unremittingly at the roof, rang through the house.

She smoked two cigaretts and drank one cup of coffee till she allowed herself to go outside to be by her friends site.

Shane sat like a stone statue infront of the studio. Rain drops fell from her hair strands unregarded in her lap.     

Jenny knew this feeling all too well by her own.

Pretty often she wished that she could just sit in the rain for hours and all her sins and pain would wash away.

Mostly she sat just too long in the shower.

Approaching Shane slowly not to scare her Jenny reached the fragile women. Her clothe already soaked like Shane´s,  she sat down in front of her.

She waited for Shane.

With a almost inaudible sniff Shane lifted her head and looked with her read cried and dark circled eyes right into Jenny´s concerned ones.

“Her face, her eyes…..”, Shane began to speak with a sore voice but stopped apprubtly like the memory was too painfull.

“I never wanted to do that to her….I love her….but”, she continued and closed her eyes tight like everything would go away when she would open them again.

Jenny just sat infront of her. Not making a move. Not making a attempt to speak.

She new that one wrong word, one wrong move would drove Shane back into her own prison.

“I thought I could…..but when I saw Gabriel I knew that I could never be the one she want me to be”, Shane tried to move on with her broken husky voice.

“I´m not the one, I´m not, I´m not.…..”, she repeated in desperation and crawled her head between her knees.

It ripped her heart into thousand pieces everytime she looked into Shanes eyes.

Jenny saw the mourning and wrath in them, that Shane just wasn´t able to accomplish the simple grade her lover wanted from her. That she was just totally useless to love someone.

The truth was that this expectations and requisites Carmen expected from Shane weren´t simple at all.

The only thing which was simple about it was that it hadn´t to do anything with love.

But Jenny knew that this was something she could make Shane impossibly clear.

Guilt was spread all over Shanes body and Jenny just hoped that she was strong enough to carry Shane through this thunderstorm.

“F*ck, Jen”, Shane suddenly called out loud and beat with her fist hard into the concreted ground.

“Hey, hey….don´t do this Shane”, Jenny immediately caught Shanes hand before she hit the ground again.

“What Jen? Why shouldn´t I do this? I f*cking deserve it”, Shane called out and stood up apprubtly struggeling to stand up straight.

“No you don´t deserve it, Shane. Just listen to me….”, Jenny tried to calm Shane down and grabbed softly her wounded hand.

Shane got close to Jenny. Her faces just inches away from one another.

“She endured my mistakes, all the time. She cared about me, all the time. She was there for me, all the time”, Shane whispered helpless her whole body shaking.

This was enough.

“Shane…she didn´t endured your mistakes,  she wanted to change you.

She didn´t accept you for who you are. Even if Carmen probably thought she did”, Jenny said looking pleading into Shanes eyes, knowing that Carmen had never hurt her intentionaly.

“I know you think that it´s all your mistake but it isn´t. And I know you love her but this isn´t the way love should be. I´m sorry Shane”, she explained calmly.

Shane stood defeated in front of Jenny.

Gently Jenny took Shane into her arms.

“Everything is gonna be okay, Shane”, she whispered softly while she felt Shane holding her close, breaking down again.