Chapter 11

Tina left work early, she threw her keys and her bags on the table.  She walked in to her penthouse and looked around she loved this place this was her place her sanctuary, she looked at all the expensive art work the expensive furniture all the luxuries her hard work had afforded her, she walked out to the balcony and thought about how lost she was when she had gotten here to this big city, she didn’t know many people a few colleagues no friends, no family she was alone, her spirit broken, her heart shattered in a million pieces.

Slowly through hard work dedication she built her life back up again made a name for herself quickly climbed the ladder at work, made new friends had lots of lovers her heart mended it wasn’t completely put together, and she knew it…it would never be. She always knew that something would always be missing, but she learned how to live with it, she knew how to hide subtle ache that would always be present.

She walked back into her home and make her way to her bedroom she began to take her clothes she put on her sweats and an old Harvard sweatshirt that belong to Bette she always wore it when she was confused, stressed or feeling lonely for some reason it relaxed her it made her feel safe and comforted and she swore that even after all these years she could still smell Bette’s scent on it and it always made her smile.

Tina picked up a picture of her and Jessica it was a picture of them in the Hamptons at Jessica’s parent’s house last month, it was Jessica’s parents anniversary celebration and they had gone up for the weekend.

She liked Jessica a lot, more than she ever allowed herself to like someone since Bette. Tina knew that eventually Jessica would want more from her and she knew she would never be able to give more of herself to her or to anyone for that matter it just wasn’t possible, she would miss Jessica a great deal if she left but Tina also knew she would eventually get over her, Tina supposed she was a cold hearted bitch for feeling that way maybe she was, but that’s how she got by that’s how she made it through her days the only comfort she felt was in knowing that Jessica would  probably get over her just as quickly, sure they would miss each other they got along fantastically but she also knew Jessica was not in love with her at least she hoped  her young girlfriend feelings had not changed.