Fan Fiction
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Heaven ‘n Hel
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I found myself once again, at dawn, standing outside on the deck, wrapped in my robe, the wind gently but persistently whipping through my hair. Holding my oversized teacup in both hands, I leaned forward against the banister and stared wistfully out over the horizon.
The sound of the tide rolling in and out lulled me, although transitorily, from the growing disquiet that pricked and gnawed at something elusive, yet essential, to the satisfaction of my soul. I closed my eyes and listened, letting the gentle crash of the waves soothe me.
I wasn’t sure if there was one specific, easily-defined reason, but, of late, discontent tenaciously chased me. And it was somewhat ironic that I increasingly sought solace staring out at the sea, because my innermost desire was summoning me away from this coastal paradise. Perhaps, I mused, this was a series of last looks and admiring glimpses of a life that was.
Hearing a seagull squawk, I craned my neck heavenward to watch it glide over, and wondered, as I admired its soaring beauty, how I would ever tell Bette that I wanted to leave California.
************
I rolled over in bed, involuntarily reaching for Helena beside me. Upon feeling the vacant space my arm fell upon, my eyes shot wide open. I smoothed my hand back and forth against the sheet. Lifting my head from my pillow, I felt an uneasiness grip my heart. This was the third time in a week that I had awakened only to embrace the coldness of Helena’s unoccupied space.
The plaintive cry of a gull echoed the sadness I felt inside.
Sitting up, I held my head in my hands and shook my head.
Helena and I had been together almost two years. We were happy. Or at least I thought we were. Until recently. For almost two months now, Helena had, with increasing frequency, played a morning disappearance game with me. Her vanishing act had started out occurring only once every couple of weeks. So at first I thought little of it. Except that she was restless and couldn’t sleep. Possibly, it was, that she was anxious to get to the studio and put out whatever fires had ignited overnight in the world of Hollywood celluloid. But now it was becoming impossible to ignore that something a bit more consequential was afoot.
I looked up and stared at the painting across from our bed, Out of the Darkness, Into the Light: Finding You. I sighed.
Six months ago, Hel had her first big gallery showing at Edouard’s. She had been painting effusively throughout the months, and the exhibit was a huge success. The critical acclaim, that I had insistently and prophetically promised would be hers, cascaded down and showered her sweetly. I think it shocked and surprised her, albeit pleasantly. That’s when Hel began to make occasional overnight trips to New York.
My thoughts followed me as I arose and padded into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.
Helena had begun to discuss potential exhibits with prestigious art galleries throughout the city. And much to her delight, she was able to spend some marvelous and magical time with her quickly-growing children, Wilson and Jun Ying.
While those sojourns of hers to New York were difficult for me to bear, because I missed her so, I knew that I couldn’t be selfish, denying her a venture into artistic fulfillment, self-actualization, and recognition, as well as her precious time with her own children. After all, she had become a wonderful additional mother to Angelica, as the adoption went through and my young child spent more and more time with Hel and I.
Placing my toothbrush into its holder, I stared into the mirror, the recognition suddenly bathing my face.
Helena had more irons in the fire than a blacksmith, and I was trotting around oblivious and insensitive to the infernal heat scorching her in the face of so many endeavors.
I tried to reach into my memory to determine exactly when and why we had stopped talking, stopped communicating, and lost touch with each other. I’d not wanted to do this. I’d not wanted to become a self-involved, unaware partner to Hel, like I had to Tina.
Holding onto the vanity top with both hands, I bowed my head, devoutly hoping to salvage the relationship that I had unintentionally found myself neglecting.
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Zheese!!What a very pleasant surprise. I love the potential of this story. Short, sweet and making we want more. Drama and angst is good. Please continue. Maybe writing will help you with your pain.
zcheese, I don’t usually comment on helebette/belena stories (although I read most of them). This is a good follow-up to your other story, if it is in you, please continue. But you need to do what is best for you. Hopefully you can get some pleasure from your writing.
i think that this is a great start to a sequel. i love how bette realized what was happening even before things started to totally fall apart. please continue.
So very glad to see you posting again. If your up to it, I’d be more than willing to read. Sorry to hear that your in a bit of a down turn, but maybe writing is just what you need…
Welcome back!!! You have indeed been well missed. This is an excellent continuation!! I could hear that seagul…feel that breeze. Ummm…when they leave, can I go there and stay? There is nothing quite like the peace and contentment of feeling an water lifted breeze. Please continue.
Nice to see the post…I can hear the seagulls too!! LOL Also glad to see that I’m not the only one that’s been waiting for your return. Get rid of the angst or use it as your muse!
Angst is good but not too much unless you have to…I hope they can overcome this slight drift apart. Very cool opening.
keep posting this story please, i enjoy that it stands alone with some of the same stories that are out there. maybe writing will help you work through the rough times!!!!!!
Really you’ve got to continue this! I love your stories. It will be quite a pleasure to see how Bette tries to stay alert within their relationship. Wonderful. I really do hope you continue this at your own pace. You’re not rusty at all. Thanks for posting.
zheese! i do agree, u should continue this story…. and maybe just maybe writing will help u w/ whatever u are going thru right now. thnk u for sharing this story w/ us!
Freakin’ yes!! It’s so nice to see you back. Please continue with this. Your other stories are friggin’ amazing, and I know that this one wouldn’t be any different. So please, please, please continue. I beg of you. Please?
hey Zheese sweetie glad to see you back again. You definitely have to continue with this story cuz it really has good potential. And from one writer to another, I’ve been trhu some rough times as well lately and writing really is a relief to me than so I hope it will be for you as well. Take care sweetie and I really hope you’ll continue with this one.
Hey, zheese, welcome back. Like the old song says: Do it, do it, do it till you’re satisfied, whatever it is.
Beautiful opening, babe, you do know how to make us want more, don’t you? :) Like many others, I too have missed reading your stories. So good to see you back! I hope you continue this before long, and that it brings you comfort. Love the angst.. matter of fact, love anything you write! :D Keep going, and don’t make it *too* painful for our girls, ok? Thanks for this!
Wow, a name I had hoped to see again in the Bette/Helena story posting circuit – Zheese !! Great start and I’ve nothing against angst either, but I’m a sucker for romance, so please let them overcome their problems, let them be happy again and I hope you’ll find your muse to be gracious to you !! And for your rusty remark – I can’t see it !!! Looking forward to the next chap, regardless when it’ll come…
Zheese, Great to have you back and YES! you must continue this interesting and intriguing beginning. After everything that Bette and Helena went through to be together it would be fabulous if you could address your talents and skills towards the “What happens next?” question. I was jumoing for joy when I saw a new post form you because I knew that it meant I was in for a treat. And I was happily satisfied with this taster. So will be awaiting your next installment. Thank you , Your Loyal Fan.
I was so happy to see that you’d posted, i, like everyone else here have missed your stories, so glad to see you back. Fantastic opening, look forward to more, thank you for returning to us Zheese.
I’m so glad to see you posting again, we’ve really missed your writing! I’m sorry to hear that you’re not having such a good time of it at the moment – I hope that writing makes you feel better. Loved this chapter, it made me sad but happy at the same time. lol. x
Please continue! I’m intrigued with this story and enjoy your style.
Wow, Zheese! It’s really great to have you back. This is an excellent chapter. Pls do continue. So sorry to hear you are going through difficult times
Wow, Zheese ! This is a very very promising start for a great story. In fact, I’m truly sorry that I couldn’t leave a comment sooner but I certainly hope you decided to continue this story as I’m loving it already. Besides, you really have a beautiful way with words. You should write poetry, you know… Your talent never ceaze to amaze me. Anyway, I must say I’d be so happy if you considered keeping writing what you have in mind about these two… And btw, welcome back !!