End flashback

“Carmen?”, Shane asks.
“What…”. A very calm voice, go figure.
“Look, I just want to tell you that I am sorry about –“.
Carmen turns her eyes towards her.
“I bet you are. But honestly I don’t wanna know what you’re talking about exactly. I really don’t”.
Shane closes her mouth.
After a minute, she asks.
“Where are we going?”.
“There is a nice cafeteria around here. And you need an espresso ‘cause you’re drunk, Shane”.
Shane nods, silently.
“Carmen”.
“What”. Again that very calm, offish voice.
“You look so beautiful tonight”.
No answer.
“You look different”.
“I am”.
“Are you?”.
“I am”.
Her dark eyes fixed on the road before her. Not a single muscled tensed. Not a trace of emotion.
“Why are doing this? Why in the world you should help me?”. Shane has no clue.
“Because you are sinking. And you’ve been important for me. And my friends – our friends – still are. They love you, and you’re doing something I’ve never expected you to do: you’re betraying them. And you’re betraying yourself… I don’t really care about this last part, but I care about our friends…”.
“Carmen, I don’t deserve your help after what I have done to you…”.
A gesture of Carmen’s hand and Shane stops immediately.
“Don’t act like you’re the victim, Shane. I told you what the truth is. I am going to help you just to help them. Jenny is a mess because of your shitty behaviour. She didn’t deserve that”.
“I know…”, Shane murmurs.
“No, you don’t know it yet. But you will understand, believe me”.
Shane glances at her and, unexpectedly, brushes the nape of her neck.
Carmen pushes the footbrake and the car stops with a start.
She turns towards Shane. Slowly but firmly, she takes her hand.
“Keep your hands off me. I don’t want you to touch me”.
No rage.
No grievance or resentment.
Just the plain truth spoken in a detached, cold voice.
“I don’t want anybody to touch me. Okay?”.
Shane closes her fists.
“Okay”.
Carmen steers and they’re again on the dark roads of Los Angeles by night.
Shane is staring at her own lap.
“What’s happened to you, Carmen?”, she whispers after a while.
She doesn’t answer for a long time.
Then.
“There’s no more place for love or warmth inside of me, Shane. And what’s happened to me is not your business. Tomorrow morning I am leaving for New York, and I would like you to come with me”.
Shane exhales in surprise and doesn’t reply.
“Will you?”, Carmen asks.
“If you’re asking me, I will. I just don’t understand why you are inviting me”.
“Because I think it’s better this way. It’s better for you to take some weeks off from everything. Maybe you’ll find yourself. Maybe you’ll understand what’s the malfunctioning loop in you”.
“What about you? Aren’t you bothered at the idea of having me around for weeks?”, Shane asks, in a whisper.
Carmen shakes her head.
“No. I won’t be bothered because I don’t love you anymore”.

**

SOUNDTRACK:
* “Blunder” (Shame)