Hephaestus – Chapter 13 – Page 2

”We’re damaged people
Praying for something
That doesn’t come from somewhere deep inside us
Depraved souls
Trusting in the one thing
The one thing that this life has not denied us”

Jenny stares at Carmen.
“Carmen, I know that our relationship was never really important. I know that it was just a phase, for both of us. But believe me, I would have never done that to you”.
“I know”, Carmen replies feebly.
“Jen, you have all the right to humiliate me”, Shane murmurs.
“YOU have humiliated me. I am just listing facts”, Jenny growls pointing her finger towards Shane.
“And there is another thing I wanna tell you, McCutcheon. Carmen went through a lot of suffering because of you. Emotional and physical suffering. Have you told her, Carmen? About that scar?”.
“Yes…”.
“Yes, she told me…”, Shane whispers.
“I thought you were my friend”, Jenny says finally, painfully.
Her eyes are now glimmering with tears.
Shane lifts her head.
“I am your friend. I know you don’t believe me and you have the right not to. But I am your friend. And I also know that… there is nothing I can say, and nothing I can do to change what I have done to you. But I am not giving up. I am here to tell you that I am not giving up. You’re like a sister to me, and what I’ve done haunts me. I will do whatever I have to do to regain your trust, your friendship”.
“Yeah, whatever…”, Jenny says getting up and walking towards the kitchen.
She pours a glass of coffee, offering her back to Shane.
“Shane, I don’t want you to live here anymore. Your stuff is already packed. You can find it in the studio”.
Shane purses her lips.
“I understand…”.
She gets up and silently motions towards the back door.

”When you’re in my arms
The world makes sense
There is no pretense
And you’re crying
When you’re by my side
There is no defense
I forget to sense
I’m dying…”

Carmen gets up sighing and walks across the room.
She stops right in front of Jenny and touches her chin, lifting her head.
They stare at each other and there is so much pain in their eyes, that words are not necessary.
Carmen hugs Jenny tight and cuddles her.
“I am sorry, Jenny, I am really sorry…”, she whispers.
“I know, thank you”.
Carmen pulls back and cups Jenny’s face.
“…And Shane is, too”, she adds.
Jenny just looks at her.
“I am not gonna tell you that she’s changed. But I can tell you that she’s trying. Coming here, sincerely admitting her mistakes right in front of you, asking for your forgiveness is her first step…”.
“It is not enough…”, Jenny murmurs sadly, shaking her head.
“I know. But please Jenny, please. Give her another chance. I know that what she’s done to you is unforgivable…”.
“Yes you’re right”.
“…But please give her another chance. Take your time and give her another chance. Shane loves you, Jenny. You’re like a family to her”, Carmen adds, sweetly.
“Would you betray your family?”.
Jenny’s eyes sharp, hurt.
Carmen sighs.
“Jen… Is there any chance for you to forgive her and move on?”.
Jenny takes a deep breath.
“I don’t know, Carmen. Maybe I will, but not now. I need time. Right now, I am trying hard to fix things with Nikki. I am in love with her… and even if I know that she’s young and naïve and somehow childish, I still want to try”.
Carmen half-smiles.
“I know what you mean…”.
Jenny shrugs slightly, smiling back. A sad, understanding smile.
“Carmen, I love Shane. Believe me. I am definitely mad at her but I don’t hate her. It’s just that… I didn’t expect her to do what she did”.
Carmen nods.
“…Where will she go, now that I am kicking her out?”, Jenny asks then, suddenly concerned.
Carmen smiles.
“You’re not that cold, then…”.
She chuckles, trying to ease the tension.
“…Don’t worry, Jen. Shane is moving at my place”.
Jenny nods, sniffing and drying her eyes with the back of her hand.
Then, she lifts her head and stares at Carmen.
“You know… I still can’t believe that you took her back…”.
Carmen doesn’t reply.
“Why, Carmen? Don’t you think you deserve something more than walking on thin ice?”.
“Why do you say so? I thought that you approved my relationship with Shane…”, Carmen answers, narrowing her eyes.
Jenny gently strokes her cheek.
“And I do. I mean, you two are really great together. But the truth is that, at the moment, I don’t really know who Shane is anymore. And I love you, you are my friend, and I don’t want her to break your heart again”.
Carmen smiles sweetly, her eyes caught in something invisible and distant.
“You know Jen… The real issue is not what I deserve… But what I want”.

”When I feel the warmth
Of your very soul
I forget I’m cold
And crying
When your lips touch mine
And I lose control
I forget I’m old
And dying…”*

“Hey…”.
Carmen’s whisper behind her back.
Shane turns her head and smiles weekly.
She’s motionless, arms along her sides, in the middle of Jenny’s studio.
Everywhere, there are boxes full of Shane’s stuff.
Silently, Carmen walks towards her and wraps her arms around her lover’s waist.
She kisses her between her shoulder-blades.
“Are you okay?”, she asks.
Shane shakes her head and sniffs.
“No…”.
“You will. Just give her some time”.
Shane grabs Carmen’s hands and kisses them, pressing them against her face.
It’s wet with tears and Carmen cannot help but feeling her heart break.
She just can’t stand Shane’s pain.
It has always been this way.
“Everything is going to be just fine…”, she murmurs.
“I don’t know Carm… I fucked up big time…”.
Shane’s voice is croaky, teary.
“Jenny loves you. Just give her some time. Now she’s mad at you but believe me, she doesn’t hate you. Just give her some time”, she repeats.
Shane just nods.
Then, she turns around and hugs Carmen, burying her face into the crook of her neck.
“Can I cry, please?”, she asks, painfully.
Carmen closes her eyes and brushes her hair.
“Of course you can, Shane… I am here…It’s okay…”.
Shane breaks down and cry.
Carmen just rocks her gently, wordlessly.

SOUNDTRACK:
“Damaged People” (Depeche Mode)

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Hephaestus – Chapter 13

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