”Breathe in the night
That crushed a tired sunrise
Born again the day
Brings young naivety
A laptop souvenir is worth its weight
In silver a golden son
You’ll be home again
And I’ll be home again…”

“You know, I talked to my mother…”, Carmen says then with glimmering eyes.
“You did?”, Shane makes a nostalgic smile.
Carmen softly brushes her cheeks.
“Yes, I did, and I have good news…”.
Shane’s smile widens a little.
“You do?”.
Carmen chuckles, watching her tenderly.
You seem so fragile and lost sometimes, she thinks.
You seem so lonely and vulnerable that I would cuddle you forever, she thinks.
“Yes I do”, she answers.
“She invited us to lunch…”, Carmen speaks quietly.
“Us?”, Shane repeats.
Carmen narrows her eyes and ducks her head.
“Are we in a cavern? Because I can hear my words echoing…”.
Shane giggles, blushing.
“I am sorry”.
Carmen kisses her. A quick kiss.
“It’s okay. I was just kidding. Anyway yes, she invited you and me to have lunch with her and our entire family…”. She says, emphasizing her words.
Shane blinks her eyelids, genuinely surprised.
“When?”.
“Tomorrow…”.
“Are you serious?”, Shane asks.
“Yes, questioning woman, I am totally serious”, Carmen giggles.

”Mend in my sleep
I’m boxing under water
Waddle on the wake
Waking on a summer day
After all these years
Forget about all the troubled times
Munificent, artless and ascetic
Playing like a scared
Enthusiastic pawn…”

Flashback

After hours of lovemaking in Shane’s car, Carmen opened the front door of Morales’ house in silence, holding her high heels in her hand.
Turning around and seeing her mother staring at her, sitting on the couch, she jolted in surprise.
“Mom!”, she whispered.
The house was dim-lighted and everything was silent.
Olivia and Manny were probably sleeping in their rooms.
“Hola, Carmencita”, Mercedes said, quietly.
Her face was still serious and unreadable.
She patted the free seat beside her, implicitly inviting Carmen to sit down.
Carmen sighed, and plopped down on the couch. She twirled a strand of hair with her fingers.
“¿Qué pasa?”, Mercedes asked, crossing her arms.
“What do mean, mom? You already know what’s happening…”, Carmen answered quietly, “Shane and I are back together and…”.
“I know that”, Mercedes interrupted her, “I know that you and Chane are back together. I just want to know if you’re sure about what you are doing”.
Her dark, deep eyes – not very different from Carmen’s, after all – were staring at her attentively, inquiringly.
Carmen sighed again.
“Mom, I am totally sure about what I am doing. And I am totally sure about Shane”.
“Mi hija ya sufrìa una pérdida, e un trauma… Jamás me quiero sentir como me sentí aquel día” [“My daughter already suffered a loss, and a trauma… I don’t want to feel like I did that day”].
Mercedes’ eyes were now distant, caught in something unknown and dark.
Pain, maybe.
Fear, that’s for sure.
Carmen bit her bottom lip.
“Mom… Please, I know that you already suffered enough for me, for Shane and for the both of us. But it’s been three years. I trust my heart, and I know that it’s telling me the truth. Shane has changed, a lot”.
Mercedes rubbed her daughter’s arm.
“I just want to protect you, Carmen… You didn’t have an easy life…”.
“Shane neither”.
Mercedes pursed her lips, lowering her head, a thoughtful expression on her face.
“Chane had us. We really wanted to be her family. All of us. She refused us, she rejected us”.
Carmen grimaced.
“Shane was ashamed, mom. And you know that. She wasn’t brave enough to talk to me about her issues, that day in Whistler, and she hasn’t been brave enough to talk to you either. But she loves me, and she loves you”.
Mercedes sighed.
“I love her too. That’s the reason why it’s not that easy, for me, to forgive her”.
“Yo se”, Carmen replied, “Just give her a chance”.
Mercedes shook her head.
“I don’t know, Carmen, I don’t know…”.
Carmen watched her mother straight in the eyes.
“You don’t want me to be happy?”, she asked, painfully.
Mercedes brushed her cheek.
“Of course I do, hija”. She smiled a sad smile.
Carmen sniffed.
“You know mom how depressed I was. And now… Thanks to Shane, I feel like I am blooming again”. She paused, looking down.
“Me gustaría ser capaz de intentar ser feliz otra vez” [“I’d like to be able to try to be happy again”], she concluded, quietly.
Mercedes remained silent for a long, long time, her hand holding her daughter’s.
Finally, she nodded her head.
“Esta bien. No quiero discutir o pelear más. Te quiero mucho, Carmen. Significas todo para mí…” [“Alright. I don’t want to argue or fight anymore. I love you so much, Carmen. You mean the world to me…”], Mercedes said, gently.
“Te prometo poner todo de mi parte si tu haces lo mismo. ¿Entiendes lo que quiero decir?” [“I promise to put my part if you do. Do you understand what I mean?”].
Carmen smiled.
“I understand that you need your time, and that at the same time you’ll do your best to make me happy. I really appreciate that, mamita”.
Mercedes didn’t reply.
“If you want, you and Chane can come to lunch”, she finally gave up.
Carmen’s chin trembled in emotion.
“Whenever you want, mom”, she just murmured.
“Sunday?”. Mercedes raised her eyebrow.
Carmen hugged her tightly.
Then, she pulled back.
“Mom… What about that bucketful of water?”, she asked, trying to sound serious.
Mercedes shrugged.
“I just wanted to cool her down a little”.
Carmen laughed, smacking playfully her mother’s arm.