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Hindsight – Chapter 24
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“Yeah… I uh… need to get Angie ready…” She turned then, holding her hand out to Angelica as she smiled down at her.
“Bette…?”
“Yeah…”
“Thank you…” I said to her.
“”What for…?”
“Everything…” because there was so much I should be grateful to her for, today could have turned out to the one of the worst of my life, but it hadn’t… it felt like one massive turning point… I wonder if she actually realised how much of a turning point today has become for me…
“You’re welcome…”
“Mama…”
I smiled as Angelica held her hand out to Bette, they smiled at one another as they began their slow retreat into the bedroom to get ready. I stood for just a moment, watching the two Porter girls – one sagging diaper, one pair of sagging levis… something needed to be done about both… A luncheon feast it was then…
I empty the bag I had brought with me and stare at its contents, not really what I would call a feast, but I’m sure I could do something with it…
I look out of the window as I wash my hands, invariably my mind wanders as I prepare our picnic, did I think it wouldn’t… no, not really, I just couldn’t seem to control which track my train of thought travelled down…
I really think I am in as much of a rut now as I was before, only it was a different rut, but it had invoked similar feelings of being stuck in a situation that wasn’t making me happy.
The last time I had felt like this my mind had told me I needed something different, different to what I had in my life at that time… And the thought processes at the time told me I needed something of a less intense environment, something uncomplicated, something easy that didn’t need me to be always working at it, something that would just chug along on its own…
My relationship with Bette was always intense, and although that wasn’t a bad thing, it was also very different to any relationship I had had before…, were all relationships with women intense… yeah pretty much…, Helena was intense in a different way to Bette, and any other relationship I had had with a man previously seemed dull in comparison.
And then there was the sex…
Where do I start… maybe pre-Porter was a good place to start, I certainly wasn’t inexperienced in the sexual act, I had had my fair share of experiences as I grew up and the fumblings in the back of a car had turned into the first experience in a bed, when my parents had been away for the evening at a party and it was… okay…, no more to say until it became a frequent part of my life with my regular boyfriend, we tried allsorts and still it was okay, not earth shattering by any means, but I always felt there was something missing… something I couldn’t quite describe, something I wasn’t sure about, and having not experienced that earth moving I had nothing to compare it with apart from what my friends used to say and what I read in books and magazines, but if I actually came out and said that I really didn’t find sex that high on my agenda, as I had on a few occasions, it always made me feel slightly inadequate, not from my own bedroom abilities, but of what I was getting out of it…
I didn’t have doubts about my abilities to please my boyfriend…, they were always so easy to please…, such simple creatures…
But my own satisfaction levels and contentment remained just out of my reach and it remained that way until I walked into The Bette Porter Gallery…
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1st… brb
If you could have seen my eyes when I read the summary…a part of me was like YES! Then a part of me was like it’s too soon for that. This was a short chapter…I need more.
this very silent reader would like another chapter ASAP Please.
god Jo, is there any way you could be coaxed into posting slightly longer one pagers…..any way at all????….thanks
i was really excited with the tilte too.. then it was like sh*t. theres are way toooo short but thanks for the update.p.p.s.
“so easy to please…such simple creatures…” LOL!!! Poor men…but it’s true…wow, I’m so glad I’m gay sometimes…
God, still so good… You have me sitting attentively at the edge of my chair and almost falling off when it ends. I love this slow treatment… I think I’m a sucker for the torture though. Need I say, yet again, how much I adore this?
And then what happened? PPS
Jo, finally got to read your story …. Wonderful isn’t it!!!! Can’t wait to read the rest… post again soon!! Writing is awesome …oh by the way congratulations on the awards last go round!!! Thank you (crawling back under my rock)
Jo….We need more. I was elated to read the summary and then……. not enough woman. PPS.
Dang Jo, so happy for the update, but I want MORE!You are the quite good and this story intrigues me every chappy. PPS
It seems to me that Angelica is the member of the family least needing to be sorted. I was listening to Joni Mitchell’s “All I Want” while reading this and it seemed apropos: “I hate you some, I hate you some, I love you some”. I think Tina should call a porter, or maybe a Porter to help her with all her baggage.
It will always start at the Bette Porter Gallery. That is the beginning of the ending. The ending of Tina’s boring life and an awakening of sorts to one Bette Porter and an end to Bette’s lonely journey to nights of Tina on her mind. Now all that needs to happen is for Henry to disappear and some real soul searching on Tina’s part. She is taking that step in the right direction. I just hope that she will continue with those steps back to her family that consisted of Angelica, her and Bette.
I’ve a feeling the clarity of Tina’s hindsight is about to become razor sharp… I really want to see what she remembers next chapter (I hope?), so I hope it’s soon! Thanks, Jo.
Oh boy, are we in for an interesting next chapter! Tina giving her point of view on sex with Porter….. Is it tomorrow yet?
Love, love, love! this story…and as always, this silent reader is eagerly anticipating your next chapter…great job!
Tina’s inner monologue made me think back to when I was dating men. They were all easy to please (except one once in awhile due to medical reasons), but they never pleased me at all. That’s definitely not fair to either party. Me because I’m not getting off, and him because he could be thinking his technique sucks. Maybe their techniques DID suck, but my mind usually was never there. I could just block it all out. But men are the past and women are the present and future. I definitely can’t wait to step into my own version of The Bette Porter Gallery.
Ok, that was way to short. And then Tina thought……. Where’s the rest? PPS
I knew you weren’t “going there” in this chapter, but that was cold to leave us there! At least the next chapter is here already (I’m playing catch-up), so I don’t have to wait long for the next phase!
“Such simple creatures” LMAO!!!!
Bette in sagging Levi’s….would still be good enough for me. Thanks for the post
mmmmmm more soon pleaszzzzz
Favorite line of this one- “such simple creatures” LOL Anyway can’t wait to read about her experience once she entered the Bette Porter gallery – just love the flashbacks. Post soon.
Uh, jo … we need more! :)
Let see more, so good!