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Hindsight – Chapter 25
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Fuck… I really have to concentrate on getting our lunch together, remembering her body and how it affected me was not really doing me any favours apart from knowing what I no longer had in my life…
Why couldn’t I stop these thoughts… of her… of us together…, how she used to make me feel…
That night we had proceeded into her bedroom, she was always reassuring me that we didn’t need to rush this part of our relationship, but I knew that I wouldn’t be able to wait… not to touch her, make love with her, I needed to… I needed her like I’ve never needed or wanted anyone in my life…
We laid together on the bed, she had lowered me following that first touch of our naked bodies meeting skin to skin… that utterly breathtaking first contact as our breasts met…, our lips met…, our bodies fused as one…
‘Can I touch you?’ I could hear myself saying it now as I clearly as the first time I said it…, she only nodded a reply to me…
It felt like velvet… that first touch…, the sweetest, softest velvet I had ever touched, my finger enveloped by that warm silkiness…
God and when Bette touched me… for that first time… I thought I was going to explode there and then, but she was so gentle…, so tender…, I have never felt anything like it in my life…, and hadn’t since…, not since being apart from her…
But it was her taste that was the complete and utter undoing of me…, what she did to me…, she painted her lips with my arousal…, she brought her finger from inside of me and slowly…, ever so slowly coated her lips with my arousal…, taking her finger between her lips and tasting me…, she kissed me then, allowing me to taste myself on her lips…, I wanted the same…, I wanted to taste her on my lips too. I mirrored her actions, taking my finger from her intimacy…, coating my own lips…, tasting her upon my fingertip…, it was the sweetest taste I can ever remember…, it was a taste that was forever engrained in my memory…, that first taste of Bette Porter…
She took me to places I had never before visited…, that first night and so many nights after… for over ten years she took me to those places.., I knew that I would never visit them with anyone else…, I knew that no one would ever make love to me like she did…
“T…”
I stared at the contents of the picnic, not sure I was even concentrating…, no I knew I wasn’t concentrating…, I was thinking about her…, about the affect she had on me…
“T…”
I turned as I heard my name… she was just standing looking at me…
“Are you okay…, you looked miles away?”
If only she knew, “uh… yeah… I was…”
“Are you alright?”
I gave a sigh…, no I wasn’t alright…, would I ever be ‘alright’… I wasn’t sure, I hoped I would be at some point, but I had no idea when that time would come… I nodded at her, “yeah… I’m okay…”
She raised her eyebrows at me, she still knew me so well, she knew I wasn’t okay, but she also knew when not to question me further…, somehow she always had that intuition that told her…
“We’re ready for our family day in the park…” she said as she smiled down at Angelica, now dressed in her clean shorts and tee shirt…
“Me too…” I sighed, I missed my family… I missed that ‘missing piece’ of me that was her…
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Yeah I was holding my breath on this chapter too…man you can take us back anytime. I loved this. More please.
every time i walk through a store and see levis… well jo my heart skips a beat… love the burn…
youre forgiven! but you know that already jo.p.p.s.
Bette is sooooo romantic….>>>>..’can I kiss you…, really kiss you…?’…and ….. she looked at me with the deepest… darkest… most sensual gaze I could ever recall seeing on a person, she whispered to me, ‘do you realise I am falling in love with you…?’..
Bette is sooooo romantic….>>>>..’can I kiss you…, really kiss you…?’…and ….. she looked at me with the deepest… darkest… most sensual gaze I could ever recall seeing on a person, she whispered to me, ‘do you realise I am falling in love with you…?’..
What the ****** peep**** peep**** where is the rest of my reply that I leaved. I have a feeling that the computer hates me…I’m grumpy now…three times should work so here it goes again. I only wanted to say that. Bette is really romantic and you made my heart jump with those lines. To bad they didn’t film that on the show….there first time. They should have but that’s just mine opinion. Great work !!!!! pss
Geez! Jo, what was this one? Loved! Great chapter, as always, but this was one of the best of yours I’ve read. Thanks and pps. :)
see jo, there you go again connecting the story to “I thought we could…” and “Do you…” And Once again I refuse to accept this connection…lol!
The show could take lessons on how to write a story without all the missing holes. I can not understand why the show must change all of Tina’s history every season. The non-marriage, to now 2 abortions just does not make sense. Here you have reminded us of their first real kiss and the night that Tina became a woman in love with another woman. Tina still very much loves Bette and it is up to her now to fix the mess that she has brought upon her and Bette (and also Angelica).
then if Bette is missing i think is time to Tina fo fight for her. Is so nice that they will spend some family time together. And Tina remember her first time was so sexy! she won’t find anybody as sexy as Bette Porter
Hi, Jo… wow, you’re so productive these days. I almost can’t keep up… not that I’m complaining or anything LOL. This chapter was just the most sensual thing… nobody writes this eroticism like you do. The last chapter was great as well. I loved ‘the sagging diaper and Levis’ – so funny and at the same time so heart wrenching. Thank you for this.
some hottttttttttttt memeories longer
me four let’s go. pps
Perhaps one of the most erotic chapters I have read – Tina Tina Tina go home to BEtte.
September’s comment made me think it was gonna go like: “she looked at me those big brown eyes, and said, ‘you ain’t seen nothin’ yet…'” lol The shorter chapters work for me too. PPS!
Yeah! What they all said! And there’s another chapter! Yippee!
OMG LOL!!! I’ve missed a Jobadge NC-17, you know I love them, so you’re forgiven :o))
LOL ok, i just got reading the previous chapter to this one..and yell at the computer screen. I was like: ” NO JO!! I NEED MORE!!” Hit the fanfic button and low and behold there was another chapter!! DO you think it will happen again?? I really do hope!! LOL. You continue to amaze me with this deep introspective fic. I love Tina revisiting her past with Bette. The thing about it is i think tha neither Tina nor Bette will ever find love the way they did with one another. Because i don’t think they’ll ever allow themselves to open back up with anyone, ever again, you know? I don’t mean the B&T you’ve created here, i mean more the show’s one. You of course are giving us hope, so that’s cool! ALright off to see if there’s another chapter!! LOL!
So poignant. The longing and yearning is still palpable. They need to act on this. Love as theirs doesn’t come ’round very often. You’re a brilliant writer, Jo.
It didn’t work:(
Good to read some of the memories of their past..good to see Tina remembering them…and with memories like that …there will always be hope..but then i never gave up on that for them..Lovely chapter!
How do you do this Jo? Write this incredibly intense, moving stuff – time after time. Wish these pages could be longer!
Well, if you’re going to disrupt the usual pattern to bring us a sex flashback, I suppose I can forgive you. Ms. Kennard should worry less about being in a rut and concentrate on getting out of it. Such memories should serve as a clue.
That memory alone should show her where she needs to head. That type of intimacy is not often found…and she needs to remember that…for heavens sake Tina…the oysters, remember the oysters!!!!
Well that was intense. Another great chapter Jo.
personally i am glad you have switched to short chapters cos i was having problems holding my breathe for two long pages. as always – brilliant and mindblowing. i think this time i can safely tell you that you are going to win da bomb – YOU ARE AMAZING
Wow, so exquisitely written! Thanks Jo. Looking forward to the next one …
No apologies needed b/c this is the chapter i was hoping for. That was perfectly written i felt like i see Bette and Tina back 10/11 years ago when they were first with each other. Thanks for the update! 10 stars.
I love this story! it’s great to read each woman’s inner thoughts. I love when they remember the happier times, just like the fans! keep up the wonderful work, Jo. pps
I agree with Allyemmerson, the short chapters work best for me and my tender heart. Tina really needs to be alone to get her act together, before she and Bette and pick up on their relationship. Both these women are too fragile to be jumping back into a full on relationship. They, together with a good therapist, need to work on their issues.
Damn that was amazing and now its time for Tina back to go home with Bette!
I’m glad you took this route for this chapter, I think it was probably the best choice (aside from me loving to see Tina thinking about the Porter ass)…. you and your Levis… I love it. :)