“I wondered the next day what was wrong with her door. She told me that she had got stuck in there and you broke the door down to get her out” Lily chucked.

“If we only knew that we had a year left…” Marina said, “The first time it happened, we were eating pizza and she looked at me and asked for the econ notes from class. I sat there for a sec with tears in my eyes and told her that where at my dorm room, we could get them after pizza. We talked about her course load for a half hour. Then she went to the bathroom and came back out asking me if I was ready to go home. (I looked at her and she said to me “it happened with you didn’t it?”. “What?” I said. “Don’t fucking lie to me. I can see it in your eyes. You have the look that my dad has when he visits my mom”. Sophia cried all the way home”. Please tell me what happened that night to make check her self in the sanatorium asked Lily. She did not tell that day we came her?

“ no.” Lilly replied.

“ Can you?”

We went out to dinner and dancing, then made love. At about two am I woke up and she was not in bed i got up looked around I heard cries coming from the shower, the water was running she had cut all on her arms her wrist were cut too but not very deep. I get her all cleaned up tears were streaming down Marin’s face. When she came back to herself i asked her what happened to make her do this. She said in her head you told her I was dead and she begged you to tell her it was not true. then it hit her that I was never coming home she could not deal. I told her I would never leave her. That was the problem you will never leave me so i have to leave you. Tonight just proved I am losing my mind no matter how much we both wish it were not true. I won’t have you come home one day and find me dead i won’t. I need to be locked up this is caging both of us and i can’t do that to you, so tomorrow I am committing my self.