Dazed, she didnt know how she had gotten to Alice, all she remembered was confronting Bette and then the desperate connection they tried, it hurt so much to be so rough and the feeling of everything breaking just got too much.

Changing and leaving was done on auto pilot but it wasnt until she saw Alice looking at her with a confused look that her feelings finally broke the numbing disbelief she was in.

With tears streaming down her face, she went to the board and did the last thing she had expected to happen.
The name and that line, it killed her to draw it but it was the truth.
She felt so alone, she had thought that after losing the baby nothing NOTHING could hurt as much.

She was right.

This was worse.

God! It hurt to even move.

Lying there on the bed with Alices arms around her comforting her didnt help as her mind constantly tortured her with images of Bette and Candace together. Which caused her nausea to rise and the pain was sapping up so much of her energy.

It was as if someone had taken her heart and trampled all over it, then taken her soul and decided to shatter it.

Curling further into herself she was unaware of anything around her and focused on the pain that rippled through her.

Her own words haunted her

My first, last and forever

The first was still right but it was the last two that broke her.

Her forever, thats what Bette was, she was suppose to cherish and be with her forever but …
how could that be true NOW?

The betrayal hurt, the trust that lay tattered grieved her but it was the destruction of their relationship that caused the deep soul-wrenching grief and despair.

Fighting against these formidable and almost undefeatable foes what could Tina do but surrender?

Surrender she did and she lay there crying her heart out but even in her grief she couldnt stop the yearning she always felt without Bette around.

Stuck in this perpetual state of grief and sorrow, Tina became non-responsive to Alice, which merely served to inflame Alices anger at Bettes treatment of such a gentle soul.