Chapter 12

Bette nervously stirred cream into her second cup of coffee as she stared out the window from the table she had chosen for breakfast. The hotel restaurant wasn’t crowded, a few lone people reading the paper at separate tables. Much to Bette’s surprise, after hanging up with Alice the previous evening she had sat by the fire contemplating the sound advice her long-time friend offered. When she finally resigned herself to the weary feeling that she was fighting, she reluctantly went back to her room only to find Jodi fast asleep.

Bette hadn’t slept well at all, finding the exact words to say to Tina became her priority. She replayed their conversation in the park in her head countless times, until finally sleep had taken over as the sun just began to rise.

“I can’t survive on just 2 hours of sleep,” Bette muttered sipping her hot beverage.

When Bette caught movement out of the corner of her eye, she looked up smiling, only to find Jodi standing there looking hesitant.

“May I sit?” Jodi signed slowly, offering a weak smile when Bette simply nodded. “What time did you come back to the room last night?”

“Way too late,” Bette said as she looked into Jodi’s eyes. “Tina and Kate are leaving later today to go back, so after they explained what was going on, I went down to the bar and chatted with Alice for a bit.”

“She’s lucky the time difference weighed in her favor,” Jodi smiled as the server filled her coffee cup. “I tried to stay awake so we could talk about last night.”

“What about it?”

“I feel I should apologize,” Jodi said softly. “Tina and her relationship with Kate, or your reaction to it, shouldn’t be my concern.”

“It’s forgotten,” Bette said dismissively.

“Not by me,” Jodi persisted. “I guess I came to the conclusion when I was alone in our room that what I should be focused on and worried about is our relationship.”

There was no need for Tina to announce her arrival in the restaurant, a cranky Angelica did a fine job of that on her own. Jodi followed Bette’s gaze when Bette quickly turned her head toward the entrance.

“Ugh,” Tina quickly ignored the stares of the few people in the restaurant and approached the table. “I’m sorry we’re late, as you can see it’s been a miserable morning.”

“What’s wrong Boo?” Bette asked as she took Angelica out of Tina’s arm and sat her on her lap.

“Hey Jodi,” Tina smiled weakly.

Jodi offered a sincere smile and wave, pushing her cup to the side and standing on her feet preparing to leave.

“Where are you going?” Tina asked innocently.

“I thought you might want some time alone,” Jodi said slowly, perfectly reading Tina’s lips.

“I feel badly we haven’t spent much time together before I have to leave today,” Tina said desperate to show Southern hospitality that had been drilled into her from an early age. “The more the merrier, you should stay.”

“I should get back to work….”

“Please stay,” Tina asked sincerely. “I’d really like it.”

Tina forced a polite smile on her face, ignoring the jealous streak that swept over her quickly.

“I’d like that,” Jodi admitted sitting back down and scooting her place setting over to make room for Tina. “Thank you.”

Tina smiled at Jodi and then turned as Angelica let out a wail at having Bette’s hot mug moved out of her reach. The simple fact that Bette was now unable to quickly approach her discussion with Tina was frustrating enough, but add to that the horrible behavior Angelica was displaying and Bette quickly felt defeated.

“You said you wanted to talk to me?” Tina asked as she sat down and signaled her need for coffee to the nearby server.

“It was nothing important,” Bette said casually, trying to cover her disappointment. “I just wanted to thank you for being here and bringing Angelica so I could spend some time with her.”

“I know how important she is to you,” Tina responded as a basket of bagels and pastries was brought to their table.

“I took the liberty of ordering a few things,” Bette smiled. “I also ordered Angelica the kids French toast.”

“It’s coming up in a few,” the server said walking away from the table.

“Are you alright Bette?” Tina asked sensing tension in her ex-wife’s posture.

Bette smiled in Tina’s direction, knowing that is was just natural after what they’d shared that Tina could read Bette so well.

“I’m fine.”

Jodi watched the interaction quietly, seeing Bette’s frustration and Tina’s attempt at keeping conversation light and friendly between them all. It was no surprise then that Tina turned to Jodi and began to question her on her current sculpture.

Tina couldn’t help but notice the distinct difference between the Jodi that was at the site the previous day and the one that sat before her at the table. This Jodi was humble, making no public display of affection toward Bette. Tina actually noticed the tension between the two women and the distance between their two chairs.

Bette spotted the French toast being carried to the table and cringed as Angelica let out a cry knowing she was about to be put into her high chair so she could eat.

“You have to be in there Boo,” Bette tried to reason. “You know the rules.”

“I don’t think she cares much for the rules,” Jodi said.

“You get used to it,” Tina assured her. “And you’re right, she isn’t one that gives a lot of thought to the rules we’ve set.”

Bette watched as Tina stood up, removed Angelica from her seat, and rocked her back and forth to calm her down. The moment, however, was cut short when Kate frantically walked into the restaurant and directly over to their table.

“Hey,” Kate smiled at Tina while playing with Angelica’s hand making her laugh. “Hey everyone.”

Both Bette and Jodi offered polite smiles at Kate, but she had already turned to face Tina to begin a private conversation.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I got a call from the studio this morning. We have to go back on the next flight.”

“Why?” Tina looked confused and worried. “What happened?”

“Well our dreadful author,” Kate said the word sarcastically coupling it with air quotes and an eye roll. “Jenny decided to vent to anyone that would listen that you were rewriting her amazing pile of shit that she tried to pass off as a script. So one of those people had a direct line to some of the backers who now want to meet because they are getting cold feet about the rewrite.”

“You’re kidding,” Tina said, her voice full of dread.

“I wish I was.”

“I’m sure it can be worked out,” Bette interjected trying to minimize Tina’s concern. “Just explain to them that you have to rewrite it if there is any hope of anyone even wanting to see the film. Jenny’s version is that bad.”

“If it were that easy,” Tina said following a deep sigh. “I hate to do this to you, but can you watch her and feed her breakfast while I go pack? It shouldn’t take me more than 30 minutes since I started some of it last night.”

Before Bette could respond, Tina handed Angelica to her and offered an apologetic smile.

“Thanks, I’ll be back in a half hour tops.”

Bette’s mouth gaped open as Angelica laid her head on Bette’s shoulder and tugged on her hair. She looked back at Jodi and shook her head, feeling the need to take a moment to decipher what had just happened. Not only was her breakfast with Tina interrupted negating their ability to talk, but now Tina was leaving even earlier and didn’t seem to have a moment to spare before her plane left to journey back home.

Bette sighed, sitting down and placing Angelica on her lap to finish her French toast. She looked over at Jodi who offered a tense smile.

“I really should get to the site.”

“You don’t have to leave,” Bette said looking in Jodi’s direction. “We can enjoy breakfast.”

“I’ll grab something, I think you should say goodbye to your daughter alone so you can take some time with her.”

Jodi got up and made her way over to where Bette and Angelica sat. She bent down and kissed the little girl on her head, smiling as Angelica laughed and kicked her feet. Bette knew it wouldn’t be easy for her to say goodbye, and she truly appreciated the space Jodi was offering to allow her to do it on her terms.

“I love you,” Jodi said before placing a gentle kiss on Bette’s lips.

Jodi didn’t wait for Bette to respond, she knew that whatever response would be offered, it wouldn’t override feeling isolated from Bette emotionally and as evident of the last few nights, physically too. She bit into her bagel as she made her way out of the restaurant and in the direction of Tom’s room, eager to get to the site and lose herself for the day.
Bette looked at her watch, feeling a sense of dread as each minute ticked by. She wanted so desperately to address the conversation that was left hanging between her and Tina. She smiled at the irony of it all, that at one point in time she would have done anything to escape difficult conversations. Yet at this moment, she saw how much she had changed because all she cared about was addressing the unspoken between them.

Bette’s phone rang, breaking into her thoughts, and offering a welcomed distraction. She saw Phyllis’ name scrolling across the screen and for a brief moment contemplated not answering it. However, in the end, common sense prevailed and she answered her boss’ call.

“Phyllis,” Bette said in a tired voice. “How are you?”

“I’m so glad I caught you,” Phyllis was clearly excited. “I have good news and even better news for you. Which one do you want first?”

“Surprise me,” Bette shot back less than enthusiastically.

“Remember a few weeks back in my staff meeting where you and I butted heads over your expansion plans for your new art building?” Phyllis continued without allowing Bette a moment to answer. “I got a call from a dear old friend in New York who has some amazing connections and happened to mention an aging heiress with ungrateful grandchildren who is looking to invest a large sum into academia. Art education in particular.”

“Ok,” Bette seemed lost at the explanation Phyllis was providing.

“This is your chance to go secure those funds for your expansion.”

“Phyllis….”

“I won’t hear another word Bette,” Phyllis interrupted quickly. “As the Dean of the College of Arts, it is part of your job to ensure proper budgeting and funding. We’re talking the type of money that requires your immediate attention.”

“What is the other bit of news that I’m supposed to do back flips over?”

“Don’t you see?” Phyllis sounded annoyed. “That means you can stay longer in New York with Jodi. While she’s in Upstate New York, you can drive to the city and land this investment to make your plans a reality. You win on both accounts. Take it with a smile, it doesn’t happen often Bette.”

Bette grudgingly agreed and ended the call as she spotted Kate and Tina heading toward the restaurant with suitcases in their hands. She quickly noticed the protective way Kate placed her hand on Tina’s back as they neared the table. Bette offered a smile as she stood, knowing Tina was on a tight time schedule to make her flight.

“I’m sorry we have to leave early,” Tina said as she reached over and rubbed Angelica’s back.

“It’s ok,” Bette assured her, needing some space to lose herself in her thoughts and sort her feelings out regarding Tina and Jodi. “I know duty calls, look at me.”

“Look at you,” Tina repeated as Bette hugged Angelica tightly. “I’ll miss you but I’ll see you soon.”

Tina felt even worse seeing unshed tears in Bette’s expressive eyes.

“Before I forget,” Bette handed Angelica to Tina. “I have to go to New York City for a few days to secure some funding for expansion at the University. You can always get me by cell, but I just wanted to let you know where I’d be.”

“Oh,” Tina was slightly taken aback. “Good luck with that, I know how important it is for your plans.”

The two awkwardly kissed one another in front of Kate, both feeling the tension between them, but not able to address it on any level at the current moment. Once Tina promised to call to tell Bette they had landed, she made her way outside and into Kate’s rental car for the drive to the airport. Bette, on the other hand, knew she had to work off some of her aggression and headed in the opposite direction to Jodi’s project.

The day had gone well, progress was evident as pieces of metal were secured in the exact spots Jodi arranged them. The sun was now descending below the horizon, lighting the sky with reddish hues, and the wind made it virtually impossible to continue scaling the enormous sculpture to secure it in place.

“Jodi says that’s a wrap people!” Tom shouted to the crew. “She doesn’t want anyone falling over and ruining the art.”

When the crew began to whisper that they were breaking more for the safety of the art rather than themselves, Tom chuckled and agreed. He knew Jodi was concerned on all accounts, but why ruin her reputation as a driven bitch?

Jodi sat on the base of the sculpture with a thermos full of brandy at her disposal. She saw Bette staring at the sunset and signed to Tom that Bette would take her home, he was free to go back to the hotel and enjoy his freedom for the night. Jodi made no effort to break into Bette’s thoughts, she was more concerned about her own.

“It’s really coming together,” Bette said after she ensured Jodi was facing her.

“That makes one thing,” Jodi said sadly as she focused on the horizon Bette had been admiring moments ago. “I’d settle for struggling with this and not struggling with us.”

Jodi offered Bette a cap full of brandy, knowing the temperature was dropping fast without the benefit of the sun beaming above.

“You’re struggling with us?”

“Not as much as you are,” Jodi admitted. “I’ve come so far Bette. It’s impossible for me to go back.”

“Go back to what?”

“Being someone I’m not because trying to fit into a relationship,” Jodi said bluntly. “I’ve grown out of that stage and want to be loved for the person I am.”

“I do love you.”

“But I will never be Tina,” Jodi said sadly. “I’m the driven, narcissistic artist that looks fear in the eyes and laughs. I don’t give a shit what people think of me.”

“I never said you should.”

“I let my walls down for you,” Jodi continued. “Despite this last time when I knew I deserved better, I thought the sign and your promise not to break my heart would be enough for me.”

“But it’s not?”

“Not when you’re breaking it because you’re unhappy,” Jodi said sadly. “I know I deserve better than to be someone’s second choice because their first is out of their reach.”

Bette knew she couldn’t argue the valid points Jodi was making. She finished her brandy and handed the cap back to Jodi to replace on the thermos.

“I’m not going to let you break my heart Bette,” Jodi said offering a weak smile to her lover. “I won’t make some dramatic gesture to get you back either. If you think you belong with me, you’ll come on your own. Don’t show up with a sign Bette, show up with your heart.”

Jodi made her way to a group of students that were just beginning to pull away. She grabbed her coat, ran toward the car, and asked if she could hitch a ride back to the hotel with them. They were honored to have some intimate time with the well-known artist, desperate to soak up all the knowledge they could in the small amount of time they were scheduled to work with her.

Bette watched as Jodi drove off into the distance, looking back at the sign she had lugged across country. She stared off at the last vestiges of sunset for several minutes before she spoke to nobody in particular given she was the only one now standing at the site.

“I can’t show up with my heart Jodi,” Bette sighed. “It belongs to Tina and I can’t change that.”