Chapter 5

The airport was the usual hub of activity as Tina maneuvered Angelica’s stroller through the crowds to the restaurant on the outer rim of the building. Straggling behind her, struggling with multiple bags thrown over her shoulder, was Alice.

“Why did I agree to drop you off?” Alice muttered to the back of Tina’s head.

They sat down at a table in the restaurant and Tina, once again, checked her watch for the third time in the last ten minutes. Alice plopped down on the seat next to her.

“When is your flight?”

“Not for another hour and a half, but I imagine we need to get there early and board first.”

“Remind me again why you’re doing this?” Alice asked as she signaled a waitress to come take their order. “How do you plan on lugging all this shit to the gate?”

“Need I remind you that Angelica is within earshot?”

“Need I remind you we have some time and you can’t avoid the question?”

“I plan on throwing all the bags onto my shoulders and pushing the stroller carefully so that none of them fall.”

“You know that’s not the question I was referring to,” Alice scolded.

“What do you want to know?” Tina asked exasperated after ordering a drink for herself and milk for Angelica.

“Why you’re going to New York?”

“Because Bette asked me,” Tina said.

“So if I ask you for a million dollars,” Alice said sarcastically. “You’ll just hand me whatever you can afford and make the rest up to me later?”

“Touché,” Tina rolled her eyes and paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. “I don’t know that you’d understand.”

“Try me,” Alice challenged.

“I spent so much time trying to keep her away from Angelica,” Tina blinked back tears as she handed a cup of milk to Angelica. “I just want to make up for some of that. I know Angie’s been asking for Bette and misses her, I suppose I feel being a good mom is putting myself to the side so they can see each other.”

“I can’t believe she even had the nerve to ask you. It’s like she just negates that you have a demanding job, friends that you’d like to see…..”

“Yes I do have a life,” Tina said sarcastically.

“You do, even if it is a rather dull and uninviting one,” Alice teased. “Unless you count Kate because frankly working on that piece of shit Lez Girls would make me slit my own wrists with a butter knife.”

“Well that was sort of a motivator for going too,” Tina shared. “If I’m in New York Jenny can’t be knocking on my door every 5 minutes and whining that we’re rewriting her work, I can just turn my cell off. At least being across the country I’m liable to get it done quickly if she’s not around stalking me wherever I go.”

“Stalking,” Alice snickered as she rolled her eyes. “It’s like she’s not even subtle about it.”

“Says the one that made it an art form shortly after what you now call ‘Dana Gate’.”

“I’m going to ignore that comment,” Alice said as she straightened her posture to stare down at Tina. “Merely because I don’t want to forget to thank you for rewriting that amazing piece of crap. As someone who bit it bad because of Jenny, I was so happy to hear that you were tackling it. Jenny needed her ass to be taken down a few pegs.”

Tina snickered as Alice continued.

“I just don’t know if going to New York to spend time with Bette and Jodi is such a good idea. You could go somewhere else, somewhere warm, and work on it on a secluded beach paid for by your studio.”

“That’s ethical,” Tina rolled her eyes.

“You’d need a babysitter of course,” Alice continued with a smile. “I’d love to offer my services in that arena if you’d indeed go to a beach to work.”

“I’m not going to a beach, I’m going to New York.”

“All I’m saying is that torturing yourself daily in New York, where it’s getting cooler I might add, is a far cry from a secluded beach where you could get just as much writing done. I’d pick the latter for a week if I had a choice.”

“It’s not torture.”

“Seeing Bette with another woman, when you so obviously still have feelings for her, is indeed torturing one’s self.”

“She’s moved on,” Tina said matter-of-factly. “If I don’t face it now, when am I going to face it? I knew it was coming when I told her what to do to get Jodi back.”

“Face it when she gets back here and you’re on your own turf with your own support network,” Alice reasoned. “Going clear across the country to face it at this time, when you have all this rewriting to do which means you’ll be living in the past, is not the smartest thing that you’ve ever done.”

“Thanks for the support.”

“Why are you such a masochist?” Alice pushed. “I remember the woman that sat on my couch crying the night of Provocations. You’ve come so far from that time Tina, gotten stronger with each passing day. I love Bette, don’t get me wrong, but seeing her and Jodi on their turf is only going to hurt you.”

“I’ll always love her and obviously we will always be in one another’s life. We share this beautiful little one so there’s no escaping Bette and whoever should be in her life as her partner.”

Tina bent down and kissed Angelica on the head as Angelica played with the straw in her cup of milk, fascinated with the bubbles she learned how to create.

“There’s a difference between ‘always loving her’ and being in love with her,” Alice said as she downed the rest of her drink. “You’re in love with her despite the fact that you have an amazing woman that would bend over backward to be with you.”

“Kate,” Tina felt it best to just agree instead of fight the facts. “I know, and she’s amazing…”

Alice rolled her eyes seeing where Tina’s thought process was going to lead them.

“But she’s not Bette?”

“And I’m not Jodi,” Tina wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “The best way to get over Bette and move on is to rewrite this damn script and force myself into seeing that the relationship ended. If I couple that with seeing the glorious results of my efforts in coaching Bette to win back Jodi, I can’t pretend none of it exists now can I?”

“You did a good job,” Alice said placing her hand on Tina’s on the table. “I’m not sure I’d be that unselfish and do what you’ve done.”

“You would have done it,” Tina snickered. “Eventually if you took enough meds for it.”

“That was a stage, and I recovered after the nasty car chase, thank you very little!”

“I’m teasing,” Tina said as she draped one arm over Alice’s shoulder. “I know that wasn’t easy for you, or Dana, but you were there when it counted and that’s something I know she appreciated. I’m trying to rise above, like you did, only now I’m putting Angelica and Bette first.”

“That’s fine,” Alice said quickly. “But don’t forget that you need a life too. It can’t be all Angelica and Bette’s happiness and none of yours. If you want my vote, I have to say I’d be a fan of you and Kate. I see how much she cares for you.”

“Well this is it,” Tina said checking her watch ignoring Alice’s statement. “Wish me luck.”

Alice stood and took Tina into her arms and squeezed her tight.

“I’m here if you need anything,” Alice whispered in her ear. “You don’t have to be the strong one either, you have people that love you and understand what it’s like to watch the love of your life move on. I’ve been there, with Dana, and I understand more than you think.”

“And you’ve moved on with Tasha.”

“And you can move on too in time,” Alice said with a smile. “Kate’s a lucky woman.”

“I’m not too sure about that,” Tina chuckled as she paid the bill and gathered her things. “Maybe this is just what I need to move on with her and put Bette behind me. Wish me luck getting to the gate with all this stuff.”

Alice walked out into the busy hallway and flagged down a porter, handing him a $20 and telling him to ensure Tina got to her gate promptly.

“Your chariot awaits,” Alice said kissing Angelica goodbye and waving as the cart swept Tina, Angelica, and their things away and out of sight.

The wind kicked up once more and Bette sheltered herself from it by pulling her coat tighter around her body. She was exhausted, working from morning until early evening with Jodi on her sculpture. They took a short break for lunch, but beyond that, she had the entire crew working on arranging and rearranging the heavy objects that made the enormous sculpture come to life.

“If I have to see ’17 reasons’ one more time,” Bette muttered as she glanced at her watch once more.

The sun began to fall below the horizon and the reddish hues that lit up the sky took Bette’s breath away. She smiled as the others around her continued to work, missing nature’s display of art directly in front of their eyes.

“Bette,” Jodi called out and then began to sign her instructions. “The numbers need to be moved to the right to center them over the other pieces that were there before.”

“I can’t do it,” Bette signed back. “I need to be at the airport in 40 minutes and it takes a little longer to get there. Tina’s flight gets in soon.”

“Fine,” Jodi said obviously angry and looking for someone else to act on her instructions.

“Wasn’t this your idea?” Bette asked after she had turned Jodi around to face her. “I was supposed to leave on Tuesday and thankfully, Tina agreed to come here despite how busy she is.”

“I’m sure she isn’t that upset about coming out here,” Jodi turned back around and faced the sculpture, unaware that Bette had already walked away toward the car.

Bette started the car and immediately turned on the rental car’s navigation system. When Tina had confirmed her flight arrangements, Bette ensured that the navigation system had the airport already programmed into it so she could be directed through New York safely.

Bette pushed the gas pedal, kicking up dust, as she steered away from the sculpture and never looked back. She had already told Jodi that after she picked up Tina and Angelica at the airport they would meet back at the hotel, get them settled, and then meet Jodi for a late dinner to say hello. Bette planned on staying to those arrangements, whether Jodi would show up or not.

As Bette maneuvered toward the airport, she glanced out the window and saw an ad for a restaurant that she had frequented when she made regular trips to the city while working at the CAC. She sighed as she made the directed turn and thought back to the last few trips she made on behalf of the CAC to New York.

The first trip was such an emotional high for Bette, personally and for her career, as she attended MOMA’s opening of Provocations. It was an added bonus that Peggy Peabody had attended and was gracious enough to throw a party the following evening in Bette’s honor. When she informed Peggy that she couldn’t attend as she was on her way to the airport, Bette felt the struggle between anger and concern. She was angry to not be attending a dinner that would have set her career up for immediate success, yet she was far more concerned about Tina and their baby.

Bette turned as the navigation system directed her to, but she continued to process so many times that her career had actually taken precedence over Tina and their relationship.

“I was worried,” Bette had said in a rather short voice.

“It must be the hormones,” Tina tried to explain.

“I’m just glad everything is ok,” Bette plastered on a smile as she kissed the top of Tina’s head. “That’s all that really matters.”

The sigh that followed that statement negated it immediately, everyone knew that wasn’t how Bette truly felt after missing her dinner with Peggy. She hadn’t sounded very convincing that she wasn’t disappointed, wrestling with it inside, but not wanting to verbalize it to Tina or their family.

Bette cringed thinking of how selfish that sounded, given that Tina was making a sacrifice to come to New York and traveling with their young daughter because Bette had simply asked.

“She deserves to be put first,” Bette muttered as she parked the car in the short-term parking structure and shut the car off.

She grabbed the Post-It Note beside her that contained Tina’s flight information. Bette checked her watch and realized she was cutting it close, and opted for a slight jog to get to the baggage claim where she arranged to meet Tina.

Once inside the enormous baggage claim area, her eyes scanned the baggage lanes looking for Tina’s flight information. She had told Tina she would stand at that claim area and wait for her due to the security restrictions that didn’t allow her to meet them at the gate.

Bette shouldn’t have worried that she couldn’t find them, the moment that Angelica saw her Bette knew it. Her daughter was sitting in a stroller, arms extended with the biggest smile Bette had ever seen.

“Mama B!” Angelica was trying to get out of her stroller despite being strapped in tightly. Tina was pushing her with several bags thrown over her shoulder.

Bette felt the tears automatically form in her eyes, but made no effort to hide them due to how excited she was to see both Tina and Angelica. She ran in the direction their direction, arms extended, her own smile evident not only on her face but in her eyes.

“Boo!” Bette quickly approached the stroller as Tina stopped her progression so Bette could un-strap Angelica and hold her in her arms. Bette twirled around, holding Angelica in the air as she laughed looking down at Bette.

“I missed you Mama!”

“I missed you more Baby!” Bette placed another kiss on Angelica’s cheek before she held her still in her arms and looked at Tina.

Tina was watching them intently, not able to erase the smile that had formed on her face even if she had wanted to. Her hazel eyes were sparkling as she watched the two women that meant the most in her life interact.

“Hey T,” Bette said leaning forward and kissing Tina gently on the lips. “I am so glad you’re here.”

Tina was slightly taken back by the sincerity, yet desperation, that seemed to be laced in Bette’s voice. She was stunned at how good Bette’s soft lips felt on her own, how right it felt to be looking into Bette’s expressive eyes.

“I missed you too,” Bette admitted causing Tina to smile further.

“I think we should get out of the airport since it’s been a long day for this little one,” Tina said as she leaned forward and kissed Angelica’s hair. “She did really good though, better than I expected.”

“That’s my little girl,” Bette kissed Angelica once more causing her to squeal in delight. “Can I help you with some of those bags?”

“No, just hold her, and I’ll stick them in the stroller. I have a feeling if you put her down she’ll throw a fit since she’s so excited to see you.”

“I’m just outside in short-term parking,” Bette began to walk toward the exit of the airport. “We can just get her seat in the rental car and then make the drive to the hotel.”

Bette and Tina walked side by side, making small talk, while Angelica played with Bette’s curly hair. The sight warmed Tina’s heart, making her feel even stronger in her conviction that traveling to New York was the right decision.

“How’s Jodi?” Tina asked hesitantly.

“She’s working,” Bette said quickly unsure of how to answer the question honestly. “She’ll meet us later for dinner if you’re up to it?”

“I was thinking it might be a better idea to grab something small in the room and try to get Angelica settled and used to the time difference.”

“Whatever you think is best,” Bette said with a smile as she set Angelica on her feet. “Mama B is going to put your car seat in ok? Stay with Mama T.”

After Bette quickly put Angelica’s seat in the car, they immediately began their journey to the hotel, continuing with the small talk and enjoying each other’s company.

“I’m so glad she was good for the flight,” Bette said with a smile as she made the left hand turn that the navigation system directed her to do. “I think I’ll make arrangements to go back with you though, just because it must be hard to travel alone with her.”

“It wasn’t bad,” Tina said to hide her shock at Bette wanting to leave relatively soon given why she came here. She opted for not asking how things were going between her and Jodi just yet. “She colored a lot and I worked on the rewrite of Lez Girls.”

“Ah yes,” Bette chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Lez Girls, the ground-breaking literary piece that is so full of garbage I threw mine in the trash so it could be with its kind.”

“It’ll be better.”

“She doesn’t deserve to take credit for writing the screenplay if she isn’t doing it,” Bette said as she made another turn toward the hotel. “Your name should be up there as the writer and have it based loosely on the book she wrote.”

“Not just me, Kate’s helping.”

Bette felt her insides clench at the mention of Kate’s name, yet she smiled and ignored the pang of jealousy that shot through her stomach. Bette turned once more, into the parking lot of the hotel, and turned around to see Angelica fast asleep.

“I think getting her to bed isn’t the issue,” Bette said smiling. “It was keeping her awake to get a bath and eat something.”

“Let me go check-in, I’ll be right back for her and the luggage.”

Tina walked inside, as Bette watched the subtle sway of her hips, and cringed at the thoughts that began to cross her mind. She pulled out her Blackberry and sent a text message to Jodi that Tina and Angelica had arrived, but Angelica had fallen asleep so they wouldn’t be joining them for dinner. She followed it up by telling her that once she helped Tina and Angelica settle in, she’d meet her back at their room, and they could have dinner alone.

By the time she sent that text, Tina was already back at the car, with her room information and 2 sets of keys. She got inside and pointed around the back of the hotel. She handed Bette a key to the room and smiled.

“In case you want to come and go to see Angelica.”

Bette smiled and put the key in the middle console until she would slip it in her pocket after they had parked. Bette parked where Tina told her to and shut the car off. She watched as Tina got out of the car and opened the back door to get Angelica inside.

“I’ll get her if you can help us with the bags,” Tina whispered.

“Sure,” Bette smiled as she popped the trunk and began to unload it. Tina looked up to wait until Bette made eye contact so she could signal her to open the door with her key. As Bette reached further into the trunk, her shirt slipped up and Tina watched Bette’s back muscles flex as she lifted the bags out of the trunk. Tina quickly turned away, biting her lower lip, and ignoring her body’s response to something so simple.

They walked in silence as Angelica rested her sleeping head on Tina’s shoulder. Bette watched as Tina held their daughter, so lovingly, as she placed a gentle kiss on her head. The elevator signaled they had arrived on Tina’s floor and they immediately got out and walked in the direction of the room. Tina stood off to the side of the door as Bette opened it and turned on a small lamp inside.

“I had them set a pack-and-play up when I made the reservations,” Bette whispered. “Let me just get her blanket and you can put her down since she’s so tired.”

Bette looked in the other room, happy to see her instructions were followed, as she laid the blanket in the pack-and-play. Tina stood behind her, waiting to lay Angelica down and hope that she would stay asleep. Once she put her down, both Bette and Tina tiptoed out of the room shutting the door quietly behind them.

“So…” Bette smiled unsure of what to say.

“You should go meet Jodi for dinner,” Tina suggested with a forced smile. “I’ll be fine here, I’m just going to order something in and look at the notes I made on the flight.”

“Are you sure because I can stay here and eat with you if you want?” Bette offered hopeful that Tina would take her up on her offer.

“I’ll be fine, I’m sure you want to spend some time with Jodi anyway since you haven’t been here that long either.”

“I’m not sure I should leave you though,” Bette said hesitantly. “You just got here and I’m sure you’re hungry.”

“I’ve eaten before in a hotel Bette,” Tina teased. “I’ll be fine.”

Bette was torn between leaving to go back to her room and insisting that she stay and eat dinner with Tina in the room. Given that Tina was pushing her to go, she reluctantly decided to take direction from Tina and do as she has suggested.

“I bow down to your superior intellect,” Bette teased reciting the words that were developed for Jodi but not used on her.

Bette leaned over and kissed her gently on the lips and pulled back smiling.

“I’ll call you later T.”

Once Bette had walked out, Tina shut the door and leaned against it, closing her eyes and fighting the feelings that were brewing up inside her. She walked back to the couch and opened her briefcase, which was placed next to the couch. She pulled out the pad of paper and looked at the words written on it.

The scene that had come to Tina’s mind to include in the rewrite of Lez Girls was a very personal one, but one that Tina felt showcased Bette in a totally different light. A situation in which Bette put herself aside and did what she was hopeful would make Tina happy.

“Do you think he’s attractive?” Bette had asked regarding the young man that hit on them at one of Bette’s art talks at The CAC.

“Is he a good artist?”

“Who cares,” Bette shot back.

The ride home, with the young man following them, was tense due to the nature of what they were about to embark on. Shortly thereafter, the young man had walked out and left two frustrated women lying in bed.

“Were you turned on by him?” Bette asked hesitantly.

Tina remembered seeing fear radiating from Bette’s eyes as she dared to speak her inner-most thoughts regarding what they had attempted.

“No,” Tina had reached for Bette’s hand and placed it between her legs for Bette to feel the results of their foreplay with one another. “This is you.”

Tina sighed as she threw the pad of paper on the table and groaned in frustration.

“I have to include that, to show the side of her that I know.”

Tina walked to the mini-bar and quickly opened a Corona.

“This is torture.”

Tina took a sip before she was startled by a knock at the door. She frowned, glancing around the room for any sign of what Bette may have left behind. She put her beer down on the way to answer the knock at the door, struggling with her body’s reaction to the intimate memory she had just revisited, and desperate to hide her arousal from the woman that was behind the door.