‘Yes, I’d like to actually.’

First they fixed a light breakfast and sat out by the pool, for some reason they both seemed to feel most comfortable there.

Bette began by telling Tina she had spent some time during her therapy talking about her feelings about the miscarriage.  She had felt guilty over so many things, feeling that Tina gave in on using a black donor, not standing up to her father about the baby, not being with Tina when she found out, for being distracted by Faye Buckley and her group, but most of all not knowing how to help Tina through what she was feeling.  Foxworthy had asked her what she had really wanted to do when she got home to Tina that night.  She didn’t even have to think about it, all she wanted was to hold Tina and cry with her for the loss of their son, but at the time she thought her job was to fix things and what she couldn’t fix she just ignored. 

Tina asked her if Foxworthy had asked how their physical relationship had been after the miscarriage and wanted to know what Bette had told him.  She had told him they had tried twice but it just didn’t work and after that she hadn’t tried again, she thought Tina needed more time.

‘Why didn’t you tell him the truth Bette?’

‘I thought I did.’

‘No, the truth is, we didn’t try, you tried, I rejected you.  As a matter of fact I remember the rejection being harsh.  That’s the way I told it when he asked me.’

‘I guess we just remember it differently.’

‘You’re defending me now.  The rejection, is that what drove you to her?’

‘No.  I really didn’t feel rejected, I felt inadequate, something I’m not use to, particularly when it comes to *****.  Anyway, I wish we could have gone through the loss together; maybe’

‘Maybe what?’

‘I don’t know, maybe things would have been different.  Foxworthy suggested I write you about how I felt, since we weren’t speaking at the time.’

‘Why didn’t you?’

‘I tried, but I thought you deserved more.  I thought I would do it face to face when I got the chance and if there wasn’t a chance well’