Chapter Twenty-Three

Bette Porter narrative

Fiona was sitting on the couching, looking really anxious. I wondered what was going on, what on earth could make the most self-assured person on earth look like a nervous wreck.

I looked at her and thought about my life and how much I hated it. It would be obtuse to say it was all her fault – wel, it was, but I was the one who was too blind to see how she was abusing me. Two months ago, a girl named Jenny came here. It’s not her real name. It took her a long time to be able to trust me, but when she finally did, she told me her name: Moira.

She had been fooled by Fiona as well. Fiona had disappeared for three days and than she was back with this girl who was all head over heels for her. ‘Jenny’ was totally heart broken when she found out Fiona lived here with me, and what we would do at night. Not that we did much of that lately. I didn’t want to.

Moira always spoke about Fiona as Henrietta. I was smart enough to have figured out that there was no person called Fiona Alexis, not a person I knew. It was the ultimate betrayal and the truth is, I couldn’t care less.

I was numb. When a man took me, I felt nothing. I pretended I was enjoying it. I hated it to have sex with men and I hated it when I had to do a treesome, with Moira. I knew she found it aweful as well and we always tried not to touch each other too much.

But some men demanded girl on girl action to join in when he was horny enough. If we refused, well… there were punishments.

I looked at Fiona sitting there, fiddling with her hands. I knew she had to tell me something, but I didn’t help her start a conversation. I crossed my arms and waited. After a few minutes, she finally spoke.

“Bette… you have to meet Marina Ferrer.”

“Who?”

Fiona looked up and I saw the fear in her eyes. Back in the days, I would have felt horrible to see she was afraid. Now it gave me some kind of satisfaction, that she was experiencing the same emotion that had taken control of me.