I fall of the trashcan, wondering what the ***** am I doing sitting on the cold ground. Its not a new site really. It seems I’ve taken up residence behind her house. I try so hard to walk and way and not care, but when I see themlooking so cute, walking in The Planet holding hands. What am I suppose to do?

I just pick myself up, brush the dirt from my pants and go home to my empty apartment. I know I need to get out there. I need to let her go, but how can you let your heart go. It’s a vital organ; you need it to breath, to feel, to live.

I plop my keys down, check my messages. No one has called except for people who care nothing for me. I move to the refrigerator, pulling a bottle of Grey Goose from the freezer. This has become my life. I go to the station, put in my four hours, come home get restless with wonder and going to her house.

She’s moved on why can’t I?

I move to my bedroom, passing the pictures of her and I that haunt me…my “happy” life. You know, maybe I did ***** things up, but she wasn’t exactly supportive. But then that’s not fair to say either. My demons, my problems, right?

When Bette hurt Tina, were persecuted hershit we practically tried to burn her at the stake. But when She walked into The Planet with that girl on her arm, no one even batted an eyelash. Well, except for Shane, but Shane lives in another platform of life anyways. She just always seems to know what to do and feel when it comes to her friends.

——- 

Time moves on though. Just when I think I’m starting my life over, there they are. I sit down in front of my TV expecting a quiet night alone, seeing as how my fresh potential girlfriend has to work, and what do I see but those two. On my screen looking happy as can be.

The way the move and actit’s like no one else even exist, just those two. It makes me sick really. I sit, watching them, in horror. I wonder to myself how can two people really behave like that. She laughs, flash her radiant smile that was suppose to be reserved only for me. I sigh.

I’ve moved onreally I have I think as a brush tear from my cheek. Who do I kid? I’d wait forever for her. tbc?