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    If it is meant to be…Chapter 58

    Story written on November 11, 2004 by Seahurst.
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    Genre(s):
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 37
    Words: 1416
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=50251
    Author Notes:

    Memories…good and bad.

    Tina finally let go of the warm, comforting embrace that she had been sharing with Bette.

    Looking down at her partner, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed, she spoke in quiet, loving tones. “I want to show you something.”

    She stepped back, both women immediately feeling coolness, where the other’s body had just been. Tina hesitated for a moment, wanting the warmth and security she felt in Bette’s arms to never go away again. She reached over and gently stroked Bette’s cheek, before turning and walking over to her closet. She reached up into the very back, and pulled out what was obviously a well used, old shoe box. On the top in bold black letters from a felt-tip marker were the words, “TINA – PERSONAL.”

    She made her way back over to the bed, and sat down, scooting in closer to Bette, so that they were sitting side by side, their bodies glued together from knee to shoulder. She lifted up the top of the box, laying it gently on the bedspread beside her.

    Bette was mesmerized by Tina. By the movements of her hands…by the sound of her voice…by the heat emanating off her body. She was mesmerized, because she knew that love was the driving force behind everything Tina was doing….Love….She didn’t even try to say anything, just watched in wonder, waiting to see what treasure Tina was going to pull out of her box of memories…instinctively knowing that whatever it was, it would bring both happiness and heaviness to her heart. Her curiosity got the better of her though, and she leaned even closer to Tina, trying to see what had been hidden away for so long.

    It was then that Tina started talking again, in the soothing voice, that pulled at Bette’s heartstrings every time. And as she spoke, she started searching through the items that were laying loosely in the container that had held them safe for fifteen years.

    “That night…the night of Provocations.” Tina felt tears threatening. She fought them off however, not wanting to feel the pain from so many years ago. “After we…” She stopped, not sure of how to verbally describe what happened that night in their bedroom. “After we…abused each other…” Tina gave into her tears, knowing it was a losing battle anyway.

    “Shhh…Baby, don’t. Remember, that is all gone. That wasn’t us. It isn’t us…please, let it go.” Bette placed her arm around Tina’s shoulders and kissed the side of her head, whispering in her ear, “We were both acting out of desperation and fear…both trying to dig ourselves out of a dark pit. But Baby, that doesn’t exist anymore…it’s gone. Don’t let it seep back in. Look at who we are today, how far we have both come…as human beings, as partners, as mothers, as friends…as lovers…Let it go Baby.”

    Tina nodded her head, trying to heed Bette’s words…feeling a weight lifting with every hushed tone coming from her life-long love. She let Bette reach over and wipe away her tears with her thumb, as she heard the words being whispered in her ear that could always melt her heart. “I love you Tina, I love you…I love you.”

    Tina allowed herself to relax, letting the side of her head lay against Bette’s forehead. “I love you too, Bette.” She let out a small sigh. “I’ve always loved you…even when I didn’t acknowledge it…I loved you.”

    With her forehead still holding the weight of Tina’s head, Bette smiled and whispered, “So…whatcha got in that there box?”

    Tina giggled, trying to shake off the incredible sadness that always lingered when she thought of that night. “Well, like I started to say…that night, after you went to sleep…I knew I couldn’t stay, that I had to get out of the house. So, I packed my overnight bag, not sure of when I would be back…not sure if I ever wanted to come back. But, for some reason, I couldn’t just totally walk away…with nothing but my ring. So, I grabbed these two pictures and shoved them in the bottom of my bag.”

    Tina stilled her hands, turning to look at Bette. “Later, when I saw what you had done. How sweet you had been by putting together the photo album for me…I wanted to take the pictures, but I just couldn’t. I was still so hurt and angry with you…and I knew that it would hurt you, thinking that I didn’t want them…so I left them there. But, I want you to know Bette, that it broke my heart every time I past by them. I wanted to take them with me so badly, but in the end, my anger…my desire to hurt you in return, won out. I’m so sorry Baby. Just know, that there have been so many times over the years that I have regretted that decision…so many. But, I also knew that if my need for you got to be too strong, that I could still see you, because of these two pictures I had grabbed that night.”

    Tina pulled out the first of the two pictures. It was a smaller version of their commitment picture that Bette had brought out of her suitcase earlier. “I always did love this picture. It was one of the few that I felt really captured the love that I know we both shared.” Bette just smiled and nodded her head.

    Then Tina gently raised up the second picture so Bette could see it. The moment she realized what picture it was, Bette gasped. “Oh my God!” Her reaction was instant and overwhelming. She covered her face with her hands, her shoulders shaking with her sobs.

    Tina quickly laid the box on the bed and pulled Bette into her arms. “Shhh…it’s Ok. Babe…I thought you would want to see this picture?”

    Bette rested her head on Tina’s shoulder, trying to calm her tears, thinking how right on she had been, knowing Tina’s treasure would bring both happiness and heaviness to her heart. She slowly wiped her tears and sat up, staring down at the photo still in Tina’s hand.

    “I can’t tell you how long I looked for that picture. I went through all the boxes over and over again. I couldn’t find it anywhere…I couldn’t even find the negative, thinking if I just found that, I could make a copy. But, I didn’t…nothing. One day I gave up…realizing that you must have destroyed them both, after…after…” Bette lowered her voice to barely a whisper. “After we lost him.”

    Tina wrapped Bette up in her arms again. “Oh Baby…I am so sorry. When I took this picture that night, I didn’t even think about how you would feel if you ever tried to find it. To be honest, at that moment, I don’t think I cared about how you would react to it being gone. I’m so sorry Bette. I should have known.”

    Both women sat in silence, coming to peace with their own feelings towards what this picture represented for them…coming to peace with the other’s feelings for the first time in so many years. And as they sat there holding onto each other, never wanting to let go…a smile started to grow on each of their faces…as they stared down at the picture cradled in Tina’s hands.

    It was a picture that Tina had taken two days before that dreadful day at Dr. Wilson’s office. In the picture, Tina was laying on their bed, obviously giggling at Bette…while Bette was laying perpendicular to her talking to Tina’s stomach…talking to their baby, with a look of gentle reverence on her face. Tina had held the camera up as high as she could, trying to capture them both…which she had…framing them perfectly.

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    Comments

    1. This is and has been one of my all time favorites. I read your story and wonder why I bother with my own, but I’m obsessed too. You are in a league all your own. Thanks

    2. You keep writing these chapters, my christmas shopping will be done by this weekend. I do it all by computer, but still it is fun. Excellent chapter. I do consider you one of the best. Don’t kid your self. Okay I have to teach my next class and then do some x-mas shopping. I’ll catch the next one. I just hope that I don’t finish tonight. Then I’ll have to sit down and write another chapter, before I leave for Boston on Sunday. I have too much to do now. Again your one of the best. Excellent.

    3. Wow. This story is such a wonderful mix of poignancy and playfulness, such a perfect balance of bitter and sweet. I eagerly await each new chapter, and feel the same excitement with every new post that I felt with the very first one. You ROCK! Thank you for taking the time to share your story and your talents with us.

    4. Techgal took the words right out of my mouth jsuy keeop writing your are one hell of a writer….I have been with story from the begining and you have capture some of the truest feeling I have ever read..I have experienced some of the things in your story and you have hit the nail on the head a few times.. Keep up the good work.

    7. I’d like to thank the teachers who taught me how to read and the one that taught you how to write. You have this writing style that I absolutely love. I’m not comparing you to anyone else on this site but you seem to have this maturity about you. I love the storyline…it’s one of the best posted.

      I love that this site brought out such talented writers as yourself. Your story brings a much needed smile to my 12 hour work days. Thanks for sharing your vision with us.

    8. Love bears all things.
      When I read stories like this, I wonder why they couldn’t get past the hurt and stay together. They obviously had so much love for each other. The decision to become parents together bespeaks a committed love that no infidelity could destroy. And I guess that’s what your story is all about. Too bad it took them other partners, other children and fifteen years to realize it. But, I love your story. Just do what you do, as you do it so well, and don’t compare your writing to anyone else’s. You have your own story to tell as only you can tell it! Thanks for posting!

    10. I just love this story….the love is there in every thing you write. thank you for giving us another great chapter. Please keep writing….and again wonderful chapter.

    12. If skipton’s story made you want to hang up your keyboard, then this story makes me want to toss my keyboard off the top of my building after I lit it on fire. Then, collect all the little pieces, compress them into an airtight container and shoot them off into space. And only give the rocket fuel enough to clear the Earth’s atmosphere so that it runs out and keeps plummeting through space until it gets sucked into a black hole and simply ceases to exist.

      Really. :D

    13. OMG Seahurst you have absolutely stolen my heart!! I think I mentioned last chapter how important pictures are to me…I would have looked all ver for that picture and cried when I couldn’t find it. You have captured the essence of what these 2 are and were. They were meant to be together and i love this story and how you relay their emotions and feelings. Just beautiful…please don’t stop writing them!

    17. I love each writerstories, each writes differntly. Been reading this one from the beginning.never really want it to end. Dont throw you laptop awaywith out your stories the reader would lose a wonderful story teller. You write and they will be read. Great job.on this chapter.Thanks for posting today and any day.

    18. Seahurst your story is one of the best on this site, please dont stop, you skipton & carolann have me on the edge of my seat. I check on and off all week to see your updates.

    19. There are so much love between B&T in your story.Don’t you dare hang up your keyboard.We have to hunt you down.:)Thank you for another wonderful chapter.You have such a talent in story telling.You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone.

    21. Seahurst when you state you will use other stories as your inspiration, what stories? Also what league? It is all for enjoyment, some I sure have editors, and some have help. It saddens me that here you are, you’ve written one story to completion and this is chapter and you still feel inadequate. I don’t thinks so. I’m with all the others wo have left comments, and I saw a few by others wo have stories going. Please remember each has it’s own way, you can’t judge your self by looking at others. This was another excellent chapter. Your in the league and your playing the game well.

    22. I’m crying my eyes out…you put your reader in the story…I feel like I was watching Tina walk by the photo album and later seeing Bette crushed that she left them behind…I’ll say it a million more times Seahurst…you are amazing!!!

    23. Seahurst – your writing is beautiful and your story is captivating. YOU are an inspiration to me. Keep writing – I adore this story. It’s wonderful and so tender and loving…it is the best!

    24. see- what did i tell you? now you got everyone all riled up for no reason!!! just kiddin. awesome story- one that deserves to be in a league of it’s own. i am always pleased to see a posting from you and go right to it.

      just as an fyi- as for an editor, just my own eyes and as for help, if you could describe my own imagination as help, i guess then i do have that.

      thanks for the story Sea!!!

    28. 30 comments,all full of praise and adoration well deserved!!! I have no doubts that this story will be one of the first ff awarded on Sunday!!! Maybe…it WASmeant to be…..

    29. can i just publicly say that I LOVE THIS STORY!!! Damn, this is good…you evoke emotion, and once you’ve done that?? JACKPOT. High five, mama. Truckloads of stars, all day, everyday.

    31. i’m glad you didn’t hang up your keyboard, if i can survive a nose bleed at the hands of skip’s story, then you can continue to write. lol. i think you are in the same league, on the same team, tied on homers, etc. this chapter is excellent and the pic, had me tearing up. thanks for writing and keep this up, you could surpass the rest of them. :D

    32. Sea

      This story is the picture of love– with mature eyes when you know what it means to have “lost” it.You are an extremely talented writer with a great story to tell please keep telling it.

    33. Can’t imagine what it takes to write a story like this. Finding the right words, digging deep within onesself to tap into emotions of romance, pain, love lost, love found, forgiveness, and hope. Staying true to the character’s personality, voice and demeanor…we all know so well from the show. You are an excellent romance writer…you pull our hearts with you from paragraph to paragraph.

    34. You must really love making me cry. This story is so sweet. Hell, I’d go through what they went through if it meant I’d experience this type of romance and sweetness.

    35. I love this story more with each chapter. This one was especially meaningful as I lost all of my pictures in my divorce many years ago and while I don’t miss them as much now that I have found the person who is right for me it really p*ssed me off for a lot of years. How lucky for them that they found each other and their pix.

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