Chapter 81

MaBe? She heard a very soft, and unsure voice whisper her nickname, and at the same time, felt a light touch on her arm. Tears instantly filled her closed eyes, and she felt her heart fill with joy, knowing the voice belonged to the last person she expected to call her by her nickname. MaBe…how could someone saying one four letter word, that didnt start with an L, bring with it so much meaning? Because…she knew that it was only spoken when there was love behind it. She opened her eyes, and was greeted by the shy, but fearful smile belonging to the one person she had been waiting for so long to call her that.. Alex. And there she stood, clutching onto one of her Trixie Belden books, looking earnestly at Bette.

Bette couldnt help herself, she reached out and swept Alex into her arms. Hi sweetheart. Alex just laid her head down, so her cheek was resting on Bettes shoulder, not saying anything for a moment. Then in a soft whisper that pulled on all of Bettes heartstrings, Alex voiced her fears.

Is Mommy really going to be okay?

Bette could feel the little girls tears on her shoulder, and prayed that she could be the one to provide her with the love and reassurance she was so obviously in need of.

I hope so baby. We just need to wait a little while longer to make sure that when she fell, that it didnt hurt anything inside her head. Bette lifted Alexs head up till she could look directly into her eyes. Dont worry…no matter what, she is still going to be your Mother…and when she is feeling better, well take her home, so that we can all take care of her.

Alex still looked scared, but somehow looking into the eyes of this wonderful woman, who had done so many good things for them already, she started to feel like maybe everything would be okay.

Still hanging on tight to her favorite book, she whispered to Bette… Can you come live with us and help take care of Mommy………….and us?

Bette wrapped Alex back up into her arms, unable to say anything, as the lump that was firmly lodged in her throat wasnt about to allow any sound to pass through.

Finally, after swallowing over and over again, Bette released Alex, still holding onto her arms. She was blinking like mad, trying to fight back the tears that had been on the brink of overflowing, ever since Tinas youngest daughter had melted her heart with her emotional and whispered question… one that had been asked with such hopeful anticipation.

She smiled and nodded her head. Yes, baby. I am going to move in with you…starting today.

Alex just stared at Bette for about ten seconds. Then a slow smile tugged at the corners of her mouth, and she nodded her head, mimicking Bette. Im glad, she whispered. She turned and walked back over to where Dan and Kathy were sitting, and sat down in between them, a smile now firmly planted on her face. She sat there for a moment, obviously thinking about something, then whispered into her fathers ear. Dan smiled and nodded.

Ms. Porter?

Bette turned around to see a nurse walking toward her, and stood up before she could say anything.

Ms. Kennards room is ready, if you would like to go in now.

Not wasting a second, Bette started walking in the direction the nurse was pointing. She is in room 314. Realizing that the others had all stood up as well, and would also want to go, Bette stopped and looked back at them, and with hushed anticipation, she asked…Please, give me ten minutes with her alone, okay?

Dan put his arm around Alex. Absolutely, Bette. Take your time. She gave them a look that said, wish me luck, and continued down the hall. As soon as she went around the corner, Dan took Alexs hand and they took off in the opposite direction, having their own mission to complete.

As Bette softly moved up to the side of Tinas bed, her breath caught in her throat. Oh, baby… she thought. What were you thinking, jogging in the dark, especially when it was raining?

She reached out, and ever so gently caressed Tinas right cheek, which was the only part of her head that was not either bandaged or bruised. Unfortunately for Tina, when she was thrown into the air by the impact of the car hitting her on her left side…she had landed on her left side, as well…her head trying its best to make a dent in the cement. It didnt work however, and the cement had been left unscathed, no telling marks which could describe the event that had taken place that cold, wet morning. Tina, on the other hand, had a mark for every place her body had made contact with the unforgiving surface.

Bette leaned forward and kissed Tinas cheek, then whispered in her ear. Hi Baby. Im here…and Im going to be here, so you take all the time you need to get better. She could feel her eyes filling with tears. I love you, T, and I dont know how you managed to pull it off, but even with your head wrapped in gauze, your bones protected underneath that new fangled gel, or your new black and blue make-up…..you are still, the most beautiful woman in the world. Bette blinked the tears out of her eyes. Believe it, T…cause that is the truth.

She stood in silence, praying that Tina would be okay…forever grateful that she had decided that today was the day that she and Tina were going to startup an old tradition…actually sleeping together, under the same roof. Of course, that particular plan was now going to have to wait for a while, but at least they were both finally in the same city!

Bette gave Tina one last kiss, then took a deep breath. You got a crowd of people who cant wait to see you. Im just going to go get them and be right back.

She left her room to go gather the rest of Tinas family, knowing how important it was for them to at least see for themselves that she was still alive. She walked around the corner and let out a tearful laugh. There stood Alex, Paul, and Dani…all holding onto a handful of balloons…patiently waiting for the chance to take them to their mother.

Dan went up to Bette and asked how she looked. She shook her head. She looks pretty bad, her head is all wrapped in gauze, and black and blue. The whole left side of her body is immobilized. However…. She hesitated, and looked over at Tina and Dans children, smiling again at the balloons. I think that if we prepare the children first, they should be okay. In fact, I think it would be much harder on them to not see her. What do you think?

Dan looked Bette directly in the eye. Bette, I trust your judgement completely, and I agree that if we dont let them go see her, at least for a minute or two, we might have a mutiny on our hands.

Once again the two parents sat down and explained to the children what they could expect when they saw Tina. Alex looked a little scared, but with her balloons in one hand, she reached out and grabbed onto Bette with her other hand, instantly feeling comforted by the soft, but reassuring grasp of the older woman.

The whole family slowing filed into Tinas room. Dani saw Tinas face, and instantly started to cry. Paul on the other hand, just stood there stoically, desperately focusing on a spot on the wall about six inches above Tinas head. Alex didnt show any outwardly signs of responding at all, just silently stared at her mother for a moment. Then, she squeezed Bettes hand, and pulled on her arm. Bette leaned down so Alex could whisper in her ear.

Is she sleeping?

Bette whispered back. Yes, but its a kind of sleep where her head wont let her wake up until it feels better.

Oh… Can she hear us? Alex had her brow furrowed, waiting for Bettes answer.

Bette smiled at this question, because it was a good one. Honestly honey, I dont know. I would like to think so, though. What do you think?

Alex looked at her mother, laying on the bed, hooked up to different machines, her body all covered up with different things…and slowly nodded her head. She turned and whispered again to Bette.

I think she can…she just cant answer us, cause her head wont let her. Its saving up its energy.

Bette just stared at the nine year old little girl, inwardly shaking her head. How on earth did kids get to be so smart?

Without another word, Alex let go of Bettes hand and walked up to the side of Tinas bed. She reached out and softly patted Tina on her right shoulder.

Mommy, dont worry…MaBe is coming to live with us, so you can get your head better. Alex looked at her mom, then up at the balloons, floating above her head. We brought you balloons… She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. And we filled them up with all kinds of wishes for you to get better….Ok?

Alex stared at her mother, hoping that by some miracle, she would open her eyes and everything would be alright. Then she looked back up at the balloons, remembering what her mom told her about the magic of wishes and balloons…and smiled……….

They had been blowing up balloons for a surprise birthday party for Dan. Alex was getting frustrated, because she was having trouble not only getting any air into her balloon, but then once she did managed to blow one up, she couldnt quite master the technique of pinching the top and twisting it in time before all the air seeped back out. She had finally thrown her balloon onto the floor in disgust.

Forget it. Im not blowing up anymore…its too hard!

Tina had patiently taken a balloon and stretched the top for her. She then gently told her that the trick was, that when you started to blow into the balloon, you made a wish for the person you were going to give the balloon to, and blew that wish into the balloon with as much air as you could. Watch… Tina had looked up at the ceiling, thinking about what her wish was going to be, then back down at Alex. I wish your father gets that new fishing pole he has been wanting! She then blew really hard into the balloon, and squeezed the top when she stopped for another breath. She continued on with her explanation. This way, your father wont be surrounded just by balloons, but by balloons full of wishes that are special, made just for him. And, if he keeps the balloons close to him, the wishes have a much better chance of coming true.

Thats why Alex had asked her father if they could go get some balloons for her mom, and why all of them had sat in the waiting room blowing them up, filling them with special wishes, just for her.



Bette stood watching as Tinas children, along with Dan and Kathy had surrounded her bed, quietly talking, both to her, as well as to each other. They had decided that they were going to believe that Tina could hear them, and act accordingly. Paul however, had positioned himself closest to the door, and when he felt that no one was watching, he quietly made his exit.

Bette was the only who noticed Pauls departure, and after standing there for about ten seconds, she decided to follow him out, just to make sure he was okay. He had been the quietest of all of them as they stood around Tina, trying to comfort each other. She walked down the hallway towards the waiting room. When she got there, she saw Paul just sitting in a chair, staring at the floor.

Softly, gently, she eased up close, so she was standing next to him. Paul? She sat down next to him, and whispered. Hey…

He continued to look at his feet, but managed to choke out one word. Hey…

It sucks doesnt it?

Paul kept staring down. What?

Seeing her like this. So broken…bruised…with that horrible bandage all around her head. I keep thinking that she is going to just open her eyes, and give us a big smile.

Yeah…it sucks.

Bette can tell that Paul is on the verge of breaking down, but is still trying to fight it. She can see his body struggling to contain all his emotions…all his fears. And, as she watches him, she knows what a horrible feeling that is…trying to control the uncontrollable. After all, didnt that use to be her forte?

Paul? Look at me, sweetheart.

He takes a deep breath and after a few agonizing seconds, he is finally able to drag his eyes up to look at Bette. What she sees absolutely breaks her heart. She just wants to pull him into her arms and tell him that everything is okay, but she knows that when someone is struggling like he is, you cant bulldoze him like that. She does however, reach out and places her arm around his shoulders, feeling the tense muscles.

Its okay, you know? Its okay to let your emotions go. The strength and support you want to give your sisters isnt going to be made stronger by you holding in your tears.

Paul wanted to believe her, but he hadnt see his Dad cry yet, so he figured it wasnt right for him to give in to his tears either. Im fine…really.

Bette ran her hand through his hair. I know your fine, sweetheart. I can see how strong you are…but, I think if you really want to be strong for your sisters, you have got to let your body release what it needs to release…when it needs to. Otherwise, your not doing anyone any good.

Paul turned and looked at Bette again, this time his eyes filling with tears. “Why do you say that?

Because, it takes every ounce of power you have to stop the tears your body so desperately wants to get rid of. And, as long as you are fighting for control, your not able to think about anything other than keeping that control…keeping those tears from falling. Your not able to think about how you can help Alex, Dani…or yourself for that matter, if you are putting everything into this one act…stopping the tears.

But, my Dad didnt cry.

Bette squeezed Pauls shoulder, loving this young man more and more with each minute she spends with him.

Oh, honey…everyone works through their pain in different ways. She let out a soft laugh. Maybe your father doesnt need to cry…but I thought for sure he was going to wear a hole in this linoleum floor earlier, with his pacing back and forth!

That worked. She got a small, but satisfying chuckle out of Paul. She stood up, and grabbed his hand, pulling him up next to her. I love you, Paul. Your mom, dad, Kathy, and your sisters all love you. And I can tell, just from looking in your eyes, how much you love all of us. She ran her hand through his hair one more time. Its okay to show your love through tears. In fact, take it from someone who learned the hard way…its more than okay.

With that, Bette saw Pauls shoulders slump, his eyes close and his whole face just crinkled up…tears started streaming down his cheeks, and before she knew it, he leaned forward, falling into her, wrapping himself into her arms.

Yeah…thats it.

~ ~ ~

Back in Tinas room, Dan and Kathy were standing off to one side, while Dani and Alex were both quietly talking to Tina about how Bette was finally going to come live with them, and not to worry, that they would be real good for her.

Kathy looked at Dan and whispered, Did you get a chance to tell Tina yesterday?

No, Dan whispered back.

Oh…well…what are we going to do now?

Dan shook his head, looking at his ex-wife laying there unconscious, battered and bruised.

I dont know, baby. I honestly dont know…

tbc