Bette: “Can’t we talk about it tomorrow, it is already past 12 and I’m tired.”

Tina: “No it can’t wait. I’m scared, do you hear, I’m scared of losing you, I love you so much and I’m scared that you will leave me and I will be alone.”

Bette: “Why will I leave you Tina? I love you, I will never leave you. Please remember it. But this… this wedding, it is just too much.”

Tina: “Don’t you want to get married?”
Bette: “Tina I want to get married okay. And yes we will get married the day after tomorrow in Paris, just as you organised it but you have to stop trying to control my life, I will not be in a relationship where you suffocate me. Now please go to sleep.”

She turns around and I just lie there. Bette is angry and it is all my fault.

After about a half an hour I get out of the bed and go and sit in our launch area of our hotel suite. I can’t sleep so I start channel hopping on TV. There is nothing of interest, so I turn the TV of.

I start to think back over the years since the first day I met het. She was out on location, and I went to her movie set to meet her. She invite me into her trailer, but told me that there was a dog inside.

When she opened up the door, this big dog came running out and knocked me of my feet. Then he starts to leak my face.  She helped me up and introduce me to Rufus. That day I fell in love with her and Rufus. Rufus died a few years later, and we had a big gathering to say goodbye to Rufus. Our first kiss on the set, wow it was magic, she asked me afterwards if I was ok, and I said “I’m in heaven….. The day that she told me that she love me, season 5 I knew her for 5 years and then she told me that. But she also told me that nothing can happen, because both of us were married…..

And now I totally fucked this up. What am I going to do? I start to cry again.