Dr. Wilson nodded. “When did this all start?” Shane looked up, sucking her teeth.

“I think it would have to be when I was prostituting on the boulevard to survive. I mean I hated, but it was what I had to do. I finally got out of it, by this guy who put me into hair school. I thought it was a scheme, but it wasn’t.” She smiled a little.

“Did he ever want anything in return?” Shane shook her head.

“No,” she shook her head again. “He never wanted a thing.” She rested her hand on her leg.

“So when did you noticing when it was becoming a problem?”

Shane sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Every time I go out, I find another woman to take home, sleep with her and don’t return her calls—just acting as if she doesn’t exist. I did it every night. I didn’t see anything wrong with it, but one got attached, and she tried to ruin my life. Posters of me everywhere I went, flyers—she went overboard trying to steer girls away from me because of what I did to her.”

“So…you’re a lesbian?” Shane looked at the therapist.

She nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

“Continue.” Shane licked her bottom lip, sighing.

“I never do relationships, but somehow I always get myself caught up in one.”

“Did you ever love the women that you were with?”

“Of course I did, but I always did something to screw it up. I guess it was my way of pushing them away.”

“What was your first relationship?”

“Cherie Jaffe.” She bit down on her bottom lip, nodding. “She was my very first relationship. I did her hair, and she wanted something more. Of course I didn’t care,” she smiled slightly. “The sex was amazing, and I loved being with her, but…” She sighed. “She was married at the time we were seeing each other. I saw something wrong with it, but it didn’t stop me. It just made me want her more, but then it got complicated.” She looked around the room. “Her daughter came into the picture,” she looked down. “Her father wanted me to show her a good time, so we hung out, but she wanted more out of me.” Shane looked at Dr. Wilson. “I told her to back away because I was in love with someone…her mother.”

“Did you tell her that?”

Shane shook her head. “No, I couldn’t do that, but things became worse. Her father thought that something was going on between me and his daughter, and then Cherie didn’t want anything to do with me.” She scratched the back of her head. She exhaled heavily, biting her lip. “This was a really hard break up for me. I felt like we would be together—a happy couple. AND this was the reason why I don’t do relationships. There’s too much there. Instead of being just me or I, it becomes we when I’m with that other person. I feel like I’m being smothered. I don’t like that feeling of being held down. I just feel like I’m never going to settle down like my friends. They have someone that they love, and I love to see that,” she smiled softly. “But, I don’t see that happening to me.”

“Out of the relationships you had, you didn’t feel like you would be able to love her the way your friends are with their significant other?” Shane shook her head. “You had to have a relationship that you were in love.” Shane tilted her head to side slightly, clasping her hands together.

“Yeah, I love the women I had a relationship with—I almost married one of my girlfriends.” Before Dr. Wilson could speak, she looked at the clock on her wall.

“We’ll have to finish this up for our next session.” Shane nodded before getting up from her seat on the couch. She smoothed out her white v-neck shirt and tugging on her blazer. “I’ll see you Wednesday, same time.”

“All right,” Shane walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She reached in her jean pocket, grabbing her pack of cigarette as she made her way out of the building…