I wasn’t expecting a question like that. I guess my shock was evident because she apologised soon after for asking. “There’s not need to apologise.” I reassured her. “I was just surprised that you asked that’s all.” I shifted my attention back to the ocean. “No, no I don’t actually.”

“Is that my choice?” She started. “It has to be. I can’t imagine any man or woman for that matter not wanting to be with you.”

I laughed, “Well thank you, I guess.”

There was a period of silence again. It was a little less comfortable than before. Now I was in a place where I wasn’t sure I wanted to be. And I knew what question was coming after which I dreaded. “So what’s your story?”

“My story?”

“Yeah, your story.”

“Humm.” I took a sip of wine again. I was trying my best to stall but I realised I was fighting a losing battle, so I decided to dive headfirst. “Well,” I cleared my throat and chose my words carefully. I didn’t know much about her then, especially her views on homosexuality, so I didn’t want to reveal too much about my sexuality fro fear that I didn’t freak her out. “I was a police officer for five years, six if you count the year after my partner died. We were also lovers so when my partner died, basically everything that mattered to me died with them.”

She rested her hand on my thigh, “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, well shit happens.” I tried to shake off the sadness that was slowly taking over. “Anyway I don’t really remember much of my life after that until I woke up in the hospital one morning. I had a few pills too many which I washed down with a bottle of vodka. My friend Alice found me.”

I looked over at her. I could tell that she was searching for the right thing to say. “I don’t know what to say. It must have been torture.”

I knew what she exactly what she meant. “I watched you for days, drinking glass after glass of wine. Then yesterday, I was so scared, but I wasn’t completely surprised. The look in your eyes, I knew that look so well.” She clasped one hand in mine and brought me closer to her with the other. We didn’t say much after that as we watched the sun disappear below the horizon, taking the pain of our past with it. “Are you hungry?” I regretted ending the moment but my stomach had other plans for me.