Tina:’’ Ok! You know that I have an older sister already and it has to do with her. Well when I was eleven she used to get me to do ‘role play’s’ as she would use to call it and it involved………erm……….well it involved sex!

Bette:’’Oh T’’

Tina: ‘’Please Babe, I don’t want your pity. Let me finish. It went on for a few years and to be honest the way it all started, was that she made me believe that all families did this sort of thing, so I never ever mentioned it to my friends. She would always make me play the role of the man. When I would question anything she would get mad and shout that I didn’t love her as a sister, which always made me feel bad for trying to stop it, so it just continued until it did stop. I didn’t even realise that it was incest until it really was too late. I felt so dirty and used that for a while I was in a bad state, but eventually realised that I was not to blame, I was just the kid, she was the adult and she should have known better. I’ve even tried to talk to her about it, but she refuses, so that is why I don’t have anything to do with her. I hope she rots in hell for what she made me do.’’

I never told you because I didn’t want you to feel ashamed of me and I really don’t want any pity off you either. I wanted you to love me for who I was and who I am. Not to see me as ‘damaged goods’. I suppose that the fact my first real sexual experience was with another girl, I thought that I might be gay, but I didn’t really fancy girls in that way & after that experience I always dated boys until I met you. I fell in love with as a person not because you’re a woman. You were, are so beautiful and you wanted me for me.

There were times that I wanted to tell you, but it’s a part of my life that I would rather not re-live and just lay those ghosts to rest. What matters now is You, Me and our beautiful daughter. To me babe you are my first, my first true love. You was the one that showed me what love really was all about and the connection that soul mates have. I still have the tingling sensation in my stomach when you touch me and I know when you are near me as I feel your presence. You make me laugh and you make me cry, but we have something that not everyone experiences weather your straight or gay. It’s a connection when two souls are one and I believe that is what we have.