Well at first I only took around 100mg then toward the end I was on about 200mg.

And how do use it Tina? Do you inject it? Smoke it? Snort it? What?

I snort it. I dont inject it or anything like that. I said indignantly, as if snorting was not as bad as any of the other ways of using it.

How often have you been using cocaine Tina, how many lines a day were you doing?

Only one, when I first started. You know it kind of relaxed me, its not like I did it because I needed it, you know? It was just a release from all the pressure, all the stress I was under. I just wanted to escape for a bit, to be me, you know? Its hard being in the public eye all the time, everybody thinks they own a piece of you, they want to know everything about you, it kind of grinds you down. All the time Im saying this Im looking at her wanting to get some sort of acceptance from her, some sort of recognition that what Id been doing was alright and she understood. She gave me none.

You say you only did one line in the beginning Tina, what were you eventually doing?

About three or four a day towards the end.  Okay back to looking at my feet.

What is the longest period of abstinence youve had from cocaine? When did it start and stop?

Like I said when I first started using I only did it occasionally, like maybe once every week, or so, then in the past 2 weeks Ive been using it every day.

When did you first start using cocaine Tina?

About Four years ago. ***** Ive been addicted for four years and I never even knew.

So youve been using for four years?

Yes.

Do you ever drink alcohol when you use cocaine Tina?

I have done, yes.

Does it affect your cocaine use?

It makes me more aggressive and I feel a little more anxious when I drink alcohol with it, yes.                 

Do you drink a lot of alcohol Tina?

Not really, no. Stop with the ***** questions already.

Whats not much Tina?

Well occasionally I have a few glasses of bourbon, like on a weekend and stuff or if Im upset.

How many is a few Tina?

Maybe a half a bottle.  She raised her eyebrows at my response. Oh Jesus not only was I junkie. I was a ***** alcoholic as well. Oh this is just ***** great! Im going to be in here for ***** ever.

How do you feel when you take cocaine Tina?

This question brought a smile to my face for some reason. Dont ask me why? It just did.

How do I feel when I take it? I  . . .feel ***** fantastic. I feel I can do anything, I feel energised   . . . and the orgasms, ***** youve never experienced anything like it in your life, its total euphoria, its amazing. So now she thinks Im a ***** ***** addict too, shut the ***** up Tina or they will just throw away the key, youll never get out of here.

Okay Tina. Weve spent several hours today determining your history and current pattern of cocaine abuse. So I think well call it a day for now. As we are beginning the treatment, I hope you can answer a few more questions tomorrow and that should help you and me plan where we go from here. Okay, thank you Tina, and Ill see you tomorrow.

Okay. Thanks.

I walked slowly back to the lounge room feeling proud of myself. I was on my way to recovery. I took back every negative thing I ever thought about rehab clinics. They were right. It was possible to beat drug addiction and turn your life back around. I was doing it wasnt I? I was going to get myself right and turn my back on drugs once and for all.

Spot the error? Never, ever turn your back. Not for a second.

In reality, I was already relapsing. 

(To Be Continued . . . .)