Not.A.Good.Day.

Mom told me about the talk she had with Bette Porter, and how she’s going to start seeing Bette Porter again.

Sort of makes me feel numb.

I mean, it’s my fault, right? If I hadn’t gotten this stupid idea to do this stupid thing, then none of this stupid stuff would be happening.

That wonderful news, and a whole day of doing homework. The whole day would have been shot if it wasn’t for late in the evening, I noticed the lights were on next door.

Aunt Shane was home!

“Mom, I’m going to see Aunt Shane.”

It was almost a clean getaway, but she came out just as I had my hand ready to open the back door. “Jess?”

For a second, I thought my restrictions were going to include not going to see Aunt Shane. I held my breath.

“If she’s got company, you’ll come back home. Or if she’s tired.”

Okay, mom’s making it pretty easy on me. “I promise.” Aunt Shane never kicks me out.

“And not too late. You have school tomorrow.”

While technically I did hear mom say that as I sprinted away, I think I’d have a good case if I tried to deny. Never works, though. It’s not like mom can’t come over. In any case, she knows the phone number.

I knocked on the back door, and waited about 5 seconds before I knocked again. Couldn’t help it, but I hadn’t seen Aunt Shane in about two weeks.

When she came through the kitchen she had this huge grin on her face. Yeah, she was glad to see me, too.

As soon as she opened the door, I had to give her a huge hug. “I didn’t think you’d be back this soon.”

“We had an early wrap.” She hugged me back. “Glad to know I’ve been missed.”

I tried to peek around her. “So, is this cool?”

She tossed an arm over my shoulder and pulled me into the house. “What do you want to drink?”

“Whatever.” Aunt Shane always stocks up on this really good root beer for me. She knows what I like.

Steering me to the fridge, she grabbed a beer for herself the root beer, handing me both. Then she closed the door and grabbed the opener from the fridge. I held out the bottles and she opened each.

After she put the opener back, she reached for her beer. I made a quick play of keeping it away from her, but we both know I can’t get away with that. I pass over the beer, and we jostle down the hallway to the living room.

“One, two, three.” Together, with her arm still over my shoulder, we managed to sit on the couch without spilling our drinks.

It had taken us a few tries to get this one down. Aunt Shane’s not as picky about her furniture as mom is. That can be a good thing, I think, as I stick my feet up on the coffee table.

“So, what’s been up?”

“A few things.”

Shane took her arm off my shoulder, and sort of crawled into the corner of the couch. “A few things with Luis?”

Pushing myself into the other corner, I rolled the bottle between my palms. “Sort of, but that’s not the biggest stuff.”

“There’s bigger stuff?” She sipped at her beer. “So, spill.”

I tried to put the thoughts together in a way that would make sense for someone who’s been out of the loop for way too long. I guess this was taking too long.

“C’mon,” she prompted.

“Well, I had this idea. And it seemed like a cool idea.”

“But.”

“But, I don’t know. Maybe it backfired.”

At this point Aunt Shane just stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

“Okay, I’ve heard mom and you guys say a few things, and found pictures and stuff over the years.”

“Pictures?”

“Yeah.” Maybe this didn’t quite sound right. “But there were the stories, and all.”

“Pictures and stories of?”

“Bette Porter.”

As I said the name I looked right at Aunt Shane. She had her beer to her lips, but she dropped her hand without taking a sip. I’d definitely gotten her attention. “Interesting.”

“Now, I know you know her.”

She gave a small tip of her head in acknowledgement.

“And it didn’t take much to figure that I kind of look like her. And I’m kind of named for her. So last week, on my class trip, I figured out I’d go see her.”

Aunt Shane is not the one to play poker with. She keeps a straight face better than anyone. “So what’d you think?”

I considered that question. I mean, at first, she seemed cool. Until I realized that I’d given her a perfect ‘in’ to what she clearly wanted – my mom. “I’m not sure,” I said, finally.

Again, no response. She just waited.

Talking to Aunt Shane is, in some ways, easier than talking to any of my other aunts. But in other ways, it’s a whole lot harder. She just does not let me get away with stuff like anyone else does. With Aunt Alice, I can totally flub things. When Aunt Dana’s in town, she’s so easy to divert. Aunt Shane’s focused, and she knows how to read me.

“She was really nice, and all, but then I got talking to her and mom, about when they split up.”

“They talked to you about that?” I think for once I genuinely surprised her. “Wait, I thought this was a class trip. Why was your mom there?”

The label on the bottle was really so much interesting than meeting Aunt Shane’s gaze at this point. “I sort of got delayed going to see her, and some mom-panic occurred.”

“That had to be fun.”

Always good when Aunt Shane knows what I’m talking about. “Oh yeah.”

“So, you talked to them,” she prompted.

“Yeah.” Just thinking of it was bringing that burning feeling to my eyes.

“Hey.” Aunt Shane reached her leg out and gave my leg a poke with her foot. “What’d they say?”

I shrugged.

“C’mon. What’d they say?”

“They talked about how they tried to make things work, but then I was born, and they separated.”

How sucky must it have been for mom, to be reminded that I’m the reason why she’s a single mom?

“Jess. That’s not what they said.”

“Maybe not exactly, but I figured it out.”

Placing her beer on the coffee table, Aunt Shane slid closer to me. “Jess, look, your parents”

Not fair for her to use that word. “I have one parent.”

“Bette’s always loved you, Jess, even if she hasn’t been in your life.”

“You mean she’s always loved my mother.”

Shane rested a hand on my knee. “No, I mean she’s always loved you both.”

Stupid crying thing. I hate crying in front of Aunt Shane most of all. That’s all I need now is for her to think I’m a total baby.

“I know she loves mom,” I admitted. “She came to see her today.”

“She came here?” Aunt Shane looked really happy about that, which just was not helping. “That’s great!”

“How can it be great? She left because of me once. Now, she’s probably just waiting until I’m old enough that she can take mom.”

“Jess.” She jostled my leg again with the hand on my knee. “Jess, I know this all happened before you remember, but this is really good news.”

“Good news that she’s trying to take my mom?”

“Jess.” Now she put her other hand on my shoulder. “Good news that you’re getting your other mom back.”

Between the tears and the sniffles, I was a total mess. “But she left because of me.”

“Your parents separated at a time that was very difficult for both of them. It was probably the hardest thing anyone could have done – the hardest thing that Bette had done.”

“Leaving my mom?”

The grip on my shoulder tightened. “Leaving you. And leaving your mom.”

Aunt Shane got up and walked out of the room. She returned with a half-roll of toilet paper that she tossed to me. “It’s the best I can do until I hit a store.”

Geez I’m such a girly loser sometimes. “Thanks.”

She sat back near me on the couch. “You know, there was a time, I couldn’t have conceived of your moms being separated.”

“My mom and Bette,” I corrected. Aunt Shane didn’t respond.

“They seemed to be so perfect together.”

Until I was born. You don’t have to say it, Aunt Shane. I know.

“And they both wanted you so much.”

This was not helping. “If that’s so, then why did Bette Porter take off when I was born?”

“I don’t know the whole story. But I know it was so difficult for Bette – and for your mom.”

“Well, Bette seems over it, and she’s coming back for mom.”

“Sweetie, believe me, she’s coming back for her family.”

Aunt Shane grabbed her beer and took a long drink from the bottle. “Wow. This gives me hope.”

“What?” My personal torment gives someone hope?

“Your moms -”

I shot her another look.

“Your mom and Bette,” she corrected, “they were the definition of true love, the kind of love everyone wants to find. I knew, somehow, they’d find their way back together.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so.” Shane clinked her bottle against mine. “This is great news, you’ll see.”

“Did you want to find it?”

“Hmm?”

“True love. You said everyone wants to find it.”

“I did find it.”

“Really?” I know Aunt Shane has had a lot of girlfriends, but none ever seemed like the kind of woman she’d settle down with, not like Aunt Alice settled down with Uncle Frank.

“Yup.” Now Shane actually looked kind of sad. “But not everyone gets another chance.”

She was quiet for a minute. “Wow, Bette’s back.”

“Sent flowers and everything.”

“Promise me something, Jess?”

I shrugged. Can’t promise when I haven’t heard what it is, right?

“Promise me you’ll give Bette a shot. You’ll see – she is that cool person.”

That was a lot for Aunt Shane to ask.

Then she upped the stakes a whole lot. She held out her pinkie. “Promise?”

What else could I do, but put out my pinkie, and pinkie swear. “I promise.” But I didn’t have to like it.

And I was getting kind of annoyed at how happy Aunt Shane was looking about all of this. “I should go home. School tomorrow.”

She walked me to the back door, and gave me another huge hug. “This is great news, Jess. You’ll see.”

When I got back to the house the phone was ringing. Normally I’d care, but it was probably Bette Porter. I let mom get it, and headed for bed.

While Aunt Shane gave me a few things to think about, as far as I was concerned, the jury was still out on Bette Porter.

(tbc)