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Jess — Plan B; pt. 56
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“Jessica.”
Lovely. “Hi, Cindy.” Great. The too-blonde hair, the too-much mascara, and the too-fake personality. Almost enough to ruin my appetite.
“And where’s Tina?”
I could tell Porter was almost on the verge of speakingand I couldn’t let that happen. “This is
That earned a raised eyebrow from Porter, but she seemed to be willing to go with me.
Cindy held out a limp hand for that faux-handshake thing she does. “
From the look on Cindy’s face, Bette gave her hand a good squeeze. Okay, so maybe I am starting to like Porter a little.
“Likewise,” Bette added.
It was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing.
“So, you must me Tina’s latest.”
Shoot me now. What did mom ever see in this woman?
“I must be,” Porter replied, giving this odd little smile all her own.
Cindy looked between Bette and
Oh yeah, Porter got it. She looked like she was about ready to explode, in fact. But instead, she let it out in a controlled release.
“Look, Candy – “
“Cindy.”
“Whatever. I’m sorry that you couldn’t cut it with Tina and that this has obviously given you feelings of inadequacy that you somehow believe can be remedied by attempting to offend her child, however…”
Oh, this was getting quite good. I could see the real color rising on Cindy’s cheeks under the too-much natural-looking foundation.
“I assure that not only does Jess have far too much respect for herself to pay attention to any slights you might direct towards her, but that her mother is, in fact, in peak condition in all ways.”
By this point Cindy was practically sputtering.
“Now, if you don’t mind, Jess and I were hoping for a relaxing meal so please, take this as an invitation to step off, *****.”
The last part was delivered with such a polite smile that this time, I couldn’t help but giggle. That earned me a light warning tap on the shin from Bette. Nothing, really, and I deserved it. But oh, was that rich.
After she had gone, Bette looked at me, giving me that inquisitive eyebrow thing again. “
“It is your name.”
Okay, she wasn’t going to let this one go. “I don’t think there’s a woman that mom dated that doesn’t know about you. I figured it’d be easier for all involved if you remained the stuff of myth and legend.”
That earned a nod, and some strange look passed over her face. But overall, I think she approved.
“Your mom actually dated her?”
That may explain the strange look. “Not for too long. She was sort of a stealth psycho.”
“Stealth psycho?”
C’mon, Porter. Stick with the program. “You know, seemed normal at first. Then one day, bam! Psycho.”
“Stealth psycho.” Porter was shaking her head, and kept repeating the phrase, as if trying it on for size.
“Yeah. She came from some weird family in the valley. Older sisters were always competing with each other, and three step brothers. Sort of sounded incestuous.”
Maybe I went a bit into the TMI category. “Hey look, food.” Thank heavens for edible distractions.
“So, does that happen a lot?”
“Hmm?”
“Your mother? Ex-girlfriends?”
Bad timing, Porter. I was way too busy making sure that I had the proper ketchup egg ratio on my plate to start recapping ***** drama. I shrugged. Whatever. I just want food.
Porter dug into her brunch, but seemed less famished than when she was playing commando and chasing me from the house.
Maybe she’ll have leftovers. I’m starved.
(tbc?)
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Priceless – your dialogue is the always super but this was so fast and funny – if I had the power you’d be writing for IC’s crew.
“Stealth psycho”: Never dated one (thank god!), but know A LOT of those from practically all over the place. And considering the fact I am from Canada.
Love your post, by the way. As always.
K
WOnderful chap, very funny.
Love the line Step off bitch!
yyyiiipppeee!!!! that was so dayum great. oh the dialogue, oh the fun. step off, bitch. thanks. now to the next one
Yes the almighty “step off bitch” what can I say, it’s just so funny. Can’t wait to see what bette is think during that whole exchange.
Any P you kick ass!!!
Funny shit. Its nice to seee Bette and Jess getting along. Hopefully it’ll last.
Oh that was precious. Between Jess and Bette getting along and the “step off bitch”, this had me riveted.
That was great. Loved the “step off bitch” you go Bette. Good job with the pace of moving Bette and Jess forward. Can’t wait for more, so glad I checked for one more update before catching some sleep. Post soon
Well, at least they appear to be moving just a little beyond what was the WWF smackdown between Bette and Jess.
Candy…oops, I mean Cindy – was a real piece of work. Quite convincing. She made my skin crawl.
Someone, or something needs to help them all reign in their insecurities. First Jess, then Tina and now Bette. Maybe Jess can be the one to help Bette out this time.
Great dialogue and emotions. Such a joy to read. Having the multiple POVs really makes the story riveting…they are all so unique, but so similar in their fears, really. Nice build up and exposure of the common denominator.
I wonder if Bette ever think “Was I like this at Jess’s age”? Too bad Kit is not around in your story, would love to compare their growing up stories!
Great story!
Meeee-yow!! Ouch!!!!!
Get yourself a box of bon-bons, babe.
On me!
Yes the step off was perfectly delivered. Jesse is in fact learning a lot from Bette and Bette from her. Thanks
Great story. I am happy that Jess is being a bit more reasonable. Maybe they can begin connecting soon.
Now I feel even worse for Tina. Cindy? Those must have been some bad times. Thanks for another great chapter.
Well yes the dialogue is wonderful Bette still always said step off B***h LOL! I Love it Thanks pseud Please post soon.
I love it…you made me laugh out loud! Must have been a shallow pool for Tina to fish in if she ended up with this chick for any length of time…and now we know…Tina speaks with fondness of Bette, which of course helps explain why she’s been single all these years. Only so much talk of a mythical ex I could take, that’s for sure. You’re on a roll Pseud, keep those chapters coming.
Fun, fun, fun.
This is one of your best chapters yet. The dialogue is perfect. I loved it when Bette used the step off bitch speech. Please continiue..soon..
what can i say?..lovely.. i hope Tina jealous dont mess up with Bette and Jess´s relationship..great chapter P thanks
I’m confused – Jess initially didn’t even know who Bette was(NYC trip), yet today she can say with certainty that Tina ‘told all her ex’s about Bette”?
ok this was good… really good… and i like it that they are getting along… now bring tina home and let them continue to be nice to each other