Fan Fiction
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Journeys
Bette- (She smurks and a tear escapes it’s origin.) Alice, I’m not THAT old.
(She regains her seriousness.) What are you doing here? I’m not very good
company right now.
Alice- I’m not going to let you spend the night here alone, not like this.
How long have you been sitting here anyway…trying to anesthetize yourself
with that stuff? Nevermind, don’t answer that. You’re going to freshen up,
get out of that suit, and we’re going to the Planet tonight.
Bette- (Somewhat annoyed…) I don’t think so. I’m in no mood to be out and
certainly in no state to meet up with everyone.
Alice- Yeah well “everyone” don’t care…they don’t care what happened, they
care about you, sharing your company, seeing you, talking to you, being there
for you. They’re not going to ask you about the office, what’s been happening,
or any irrelevant details about that lunatic assylum you worked in. Now,
you’re going to have some coffee, get changed, and we’re heading out. (She
gets up and puts coffee on…) Frig B, you should be relieved. I know I’m
thrilled for you. This is a new time for you. The possibilities are endless.
Life is there for the taking. You’re renewed. You’re free of that place, that
awful, unhappy…(B cuts her off…)
Bette- Stop, enough Alice, I know, I know…but you know very well that I’m
not exactly in a prime position right now…it’s the way I left. I didn’t
leave on my own accord. My career is devastated…where, Alice, where am I
going to go now? What am I going to do?
Alice- Anything you want. I know it’s not the perfect circumstance, but I know
you will find your way. You have experience, you have skill, and now it’s a
question of finding opportunity. You’re not the first and you won’t be the
last to find themselves out of a job and looking for work. We have had this
discussion before for months now. I don’t know what else to say to awaken
you to the possibilities, to your life B.
Bette- what life Alice? What life? You’re forgetting I don’t really have
one. Work, home, work, and back home again. A monotony broken only by a few women here and there, and even that…
Alice- …and now that’s over…that mindless cycle…it’s no more…you now
get to create a new life for yourself. My God B, you were so unhappy for so
long…take the next little period to absorb all of this without brooding over
it…just take it easy and reassess, think it through, just re-discover the
simple daily life and your life, your existence, your purpose…what you want
it to be.
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(16 votes, average: 3.94 out of 5)
it was interesting start, keep going but i have echo the others, you have to split dialogs of different people because it’s hard to read
Yeh liked alot please continue
Good start, need to set it up differently, more paragraphs, pls continue
I like the story line, but check out any story by skipton and see how she uses short paragraphs and a separate paragraph for each character’s dialog. Your story will be easier to follow that way.
Great start. Looking forward to reading more.
Nice start. But it may be easier to read if you could use separate paragraphs for words from different people.
Keep going here. It looks good.
I really liked it, but maybe you could add some paragraphs, it is difficult to read in a one paragraph format.
I agree. Terrific start for a first timer. But separate paragraphs are a most. Keep it going!!!!