It was past midnight and Bette was looking through the art magazine for the ninth time. She could not focus as all she could think about was Tina.

She saw her boarding the plane with Paolo taking her hand. It wasnt that she didnt trust Tina, to be precise it was that she didn?t trust Paolo. But what was really bothering Bette while waiting for Tina to call her was how much she was missing her.

Bette came back home after the airport. She had work to do so she decided to get into it, catch up with papers and emails. But what she didnt expect was what was waiting for her at home. Nothing. Emptiness. At first, as her usual routine, she prepared some coffee, took her laptop and papers to the kitchens table and put on some classical music. But then, after a few minutes she started looking around, feeling cold. She woke up and walked to the bedroom to get a sweater. But then, a few minutes later she got distracted again. She looked around realizing that the house seemed so cold, so lifeless. Every time she heard a car passing by she looked to the front door hoping for it to be open. Hoping for Tina to be at the other side, smiling, waiting to get inside.
But as she wasnt really realizing what was really going on, Bette forced herself to continue working. She finished some papers and emails but mostly she just prepare for next week meetings.
Checking the time she realized it was already dinner time but she didnt feel like cooking, not even ordering out seemed attractive. Checking the fridge she unconsciously thought that with so few things, Tina would probably prepare a great meal for the two of them. Shaking her head, as if trying to clear her mind, she took the frozen yogurt and walked to the bedroom. She changed into her pjs and laying on bed turned the tv on. There was nothing interesting on so after checking the weather channel she turned it off. It was cold, or so she felt so walking to the bathroom to get the robe she found one of Tinas sweaters resting on one of the chairs in the hall. She took it and as she was putting on she noticed Tinas perfume hugging her. Taking comfort from it Bette walked back to the bedroom and taking the Art magazine she got in bed.


***

The night was beautiful. Fresh and calm, the ski was full of stars and all Tina could thing was that shed love to show it all to Bette.

The plane was delayed and they were finally arriving at the hotel. While Paolo was getting the keys. Tina checked her cell again. It surprised her that Bette didnt answer her call but then, she reminded herself, it was way over midnight so she probably was asleep.

Seeing Paolo at the reception desk Tina noticed how even at that late hour, the few guests that were passing buy were unable to stop checking him out. It put a smile on her face but it vanished the moment Tina remembered the talk they had on the plane. Taking the keys that Paolo gave her she smiled, and without much said she walked to her bedroom. She was tired and was dying for a long hot bath. Then she was going to get a good night sleep and the plan for tomorrow was to lay on the beach thinking about the shooting. She knew the theme, but wanted to think it over. It was a relief that she didnt have to do the preproduction.

It took Tina just a couple of minutes to lay in the bath. Closing her eyes, feeling the hot water relaxing her muscles she thought about Bette, but that only brought back the conversation with Paolo.

It took her by surprise as she was sure that after the talk they had during the party he was ok about her and Bette. But that was far from being what Paolo was thinking. As the close friend he was, he didn?t have any problem bringing up the subject in the most direct way.

“So,now you a *****, eh?? he said handing Tina the orange juice the attendant was serving.

Tina thought he was teasing her so she nodded, smiling.

“No, am serious..you really think you are a *****?” he said, acting as if the topic was not as important to Tina as it was.

“I am…I told you…” Tina said, taken aback by Paolos words.

“Tee…I know you…” he started saying, her eyebrows adding the extra touch he though his words needed it. “….I know you…I know how your head works….I know how your body works…you are not a *****…Sandra is a *****…she wakes up in the morning being one…and goes to bed being one…usually with one too…” he added, unable to cut the joke. “…but you?….really Tina…youve known, met, plenty of lesbians in your life…some of the most beautiful women in the world…and is now when you decide you are one…come on… he said, sipping his tea.

“Paolo, I dont know what else I can tell you…I am…I am with Bette..I…”

“Yeah, yeah…she is hot…I mean…she is very hot, I have to give you that…and seems pretty interesting too…and from the kiss I saw…am pretty sure that she is good at what she does…but I know you Tee…thats not you…I am not saying that you are not enjoying this …hey!..Im the one who always tells you to go out, meet people, have one night stands…but this?…now you suddenly into women?”

Tina was listening to his friend, at first she was angry, bothered by his words but then, looking at him she remembered who he was, one of his closest friends. What if he had a point?

“..and… I know….am sure its been difficult being alone back in LA, when we were all in Europe….I know cara, am sorry…but that doesnt make you a *****”

Tina was not listening to him any more, was thinking about those first days with Bette, what she felt, what was that attracted her to Bette. It all happened very quickly, or so it seemed now that she was thinking about it, remembering those days not so long ago. It has been just a couple of weeks but seems like a life time. Looking at it, putting distance she was force to evaluate it all. Being with Bette so close it was too intoxicating, she was not able to think, to see anything other than her. But now that she was away she could try to see it all, herself, Bette and them as a couple. What if she was living a lie?

Letting the hot water cover her face, hiding under the bubbles, Tina shook her head. She didnt want to think about it. Not now, she was too tired. But the image of Bettes smile, the look in her eyes was running through her mind, haunting her memory.


***

Bette woke up almost at 6am. Confused, she looked around. The night stand light still on, the night darkness was fading as the day was almost coming to life. Rolling over, Bette looked for her cell. She felt her stomach funny and was feeling cold. Taking the cell she hid tight under the warm covers. She saw that Tina called her, twice. It comforted her but she was still dying to talk to her. Setting the cells alarm she noticed a text message waiting to be read.

“Flight was ok. I miss you. Have sweet dreams. Boo”

A warm feeling run through her body as she read the message over and over again. Turning the light off, with a smile glued to her face, Bette closed the eyes imagining Tinas face in her sleep.

But then, two hours later, or two minutes later as Bette thought it was, her cell rang again. Sleepy, trying to maintain her eyes open Bette looked around. The ring was non stopping and was then when Bette realized that the sound was coming from the door bell and not her cell. Barefoot, she walked towards the door, cursing whoever was at the other side.
Opening the door she found a smiling Alice holding two steamy coffee cups.

“Morning sleeping beauty!” Alice said walking inside.

“What are you doing here so early?” asked Bette closing the door behind Alice.

“Its not so early…besides…wanted to give back my minis extra keys…just in case we have another emergency”.

“Is Dana ok?” asked Bette sipping the coffee.

“Yeah, sure….she is fine…sleeping” Alice said sitting at the kitchens table.

Nodding, feeling the caffeine working, Bette sat down. Noticing the papers over the table, Alice said,

“So, when is Tina coming back?”

Looking up from the papers on the table, focusing on Alices features, Bette said,

“Am not sure, at the end of the week I think…”

“Hawai, wow she is lucky” Alice mumbled, standing up, “…you have cookies or something?” she added opening some cabinets.

“No, of course not” Bette answered opening the glass doors, to walk outside.

Alice followed her, quietly lost in her thoughts.

“You knew about Dana?” she asked sitting besides the pool.

“What about her?” Answered Bette looking down at her.

“Me…and her…did you know?” Alice repeated, introducing her bare feet in the water.

Shaking her head, Bette said after a couple of long seconds.

“No, not really, never thought about it…but Tina did”

Nodding, Alice said,

“She did?…guess being a photographer helps…I mean…observing…seeing things that are there but we usually dont see…”

“Yeah…I guess is that….” added Bette, sat at the chase lounge, looking away, thinking about Tina.

“Is funny how life works…who could think of me and Dana?she is my friend…but then….I dont know…I once read an article about fate, or destiny oce…Ive never believed in that, but then…I dont know…one day you wake up and you see it….you see that what you thought you had wasnt really yours…that what is suppose to be there..is no longer there because you took it for granted and is then when you know that some things should be done….or are worth trying…” Alice said, playing with the water.

Noticing Bettes quietness, she looked up, finding her friend completely lost in her thoughts.

“What?” she asked, bringing Bette back

“What?…nothing…” Bette said standing up

“I have to get ready Al….thanks for the coffee…” she lied. She wanted to take a shower, get ready and call Tina before going to work.

“I have to go too…need to stop at the magazine…have to think of something to tell Mark about my next piece, he wants me to write about “Celebrities, the new career move for many” …like I would…see…the irony… my life is an opera…” Alice was saying while walking to the front door.

“Anyway….Ill call you” she added, opening the door.

“Tell Dana Ill stop by later, ok?…and thanks” Bette said showing the coffee.

***

Laying on the beach, feeling the sun caressing her body, Tina smiled. She was remembering that morning conversation with Bette. They joked and laughed. Bette told her about work and Dana and Tina told her about the shooting. It was going to be with Paolo, Sandra and some other models, some of them she already knew so it was gong to be easy. The conversation left Tina happy but with a strange feeling in her stomach. She walked besides the water before laying down, thinking about Bette, about her feelings for her, about Paolos words- She was happy that Paolo had to work out, he was at the gym so she was happily on her own.

***

They day passed fast. One meeting after another and suddenly it was almost dinner time. Checking the time Bette decided to go home. But then remembered that nobody was at home. She decided to stop at the Planet but the moment she walked in she felt empty. No one was there, Kit was still touring, Shane was no where in sight, Alice was with Dana and the idea of sitting alone, or even worse meeting someone new made Bette feel cold. Walking back to the car she decided to stop by Danas. She called Alice suggesting Chinese dinner.

They spent the evening talking and joking. Alice made fun of Dana repeatedly and they all wondered about Shane who wasnt answering the phone. Noticing the tired look on Danas face, Alice called for the night. Hearing Bettes car driving away, Alice said,

“She misses Tina, did you notice how many times she checked her cell?”

“Yeah” Dana nodded, not remembering it.

“And she chose us to spend the night with?..I mean…we are cool and all but since when Bette liked to spend quiet nights with us?” Alice asked while cleaning the plates and papers.

Noticing Danas silence she walked back to the room only to find her asleep. Nodding, with a smile on her face, Alice covered Dana and turning the light off, she mumbled,

“God am such a good company, I bore her to sleep”

***

Going through the papers, Bette sighed. It was almost midnight and she wasnt like going to bed. Folding the papers she remembered Tinas words. She called her after dinner and they talked for a long time. They talked about nothing but Bette could tell Tina was bothered by something. There was something she was not saying. The words were clear, the tone sweet as always, even playful and flirting a few times but Bette noticed that she didnt finished her sentence, that almost all the time there was something hanging in the air, something that Tina was keeping to herself.
Putting the papers in the folder Bette found the pictures Tina took. The first ones, the ones for the article. She looked at them for along time not recognizing the woman in there. It seemed like that woman was gone. She didnt feel like that woman any more. Leaving the pictures on the table, Bette walked to the bathroom. She changed into her pjs and went to bed. She laid in bed for a long time. Twisting and rolling, trying to find the posture, the spot. She finally fell asleep way into the night not before setting the alarm clock. She decided to go to an early yoga class. It would keep her center and calm she said to herself, keeping her mind off Tina for a while. She was missing her so much that it was almost painful.

She woke up early, feeling tired and in the worst of moods. She drove all the way to Yoga center wondering if it was such a good day after all. But then, doing the sun salutation , just when she was breathing out of the upwards dog she saw it. It was clear, the answer, in front of her. Feeling weightless, the sun shinning outside, noticing the smile growing on her face she breathed. Her lungs feeling the air, the tension vanishing from her shoulders. She knew what she was going to do. Happily she bent again, getting lost in her body, in the postures.