“So you we feeling neglected while Bette was giving work more priority?”

“She was spending a lot of time at work but I think our family was still her priority. There was the time when she had to go to New York to preview the exhibit. I was supposed to go with her but I was too sick with morning sickness so I had to cancel at the last minute.”

Bette: You know what? Your health is by far the most important thing in our lives right now. And if
you need to stay home, I will be okay.

Tina: Are you sure? I mean, this is so important to you. I really want to be there.

Bette: I would rather you came. But you know what? I want you to do what your body is telling you to do.

”She would have stayed with me but it was important for her to go. She made sure to tell our friends to watch out for me and they were there. Then I freaked out when the donor’s girlfriend started harassing me. I called Bette and she cut her trip short and came home. She did it because she was so worried but she missed out on an opportunity to make some important business contacts. I never doubted that our family was important to her. She really wanted this baby. She couldn’t wait to tell her father. He’d never accepted our relationship but she really thought that having a grandchild would give him a change of heart. It was a major blow for us when he didn’t accept the baby either.”

Tina: Melvin, Bette and I are having a baby.

Bette: Daddy, we’re having a baby.

Melvin: I don’t understand.

Tina: I’m pregnant.

Melvin: And you’re happy about that?

“Melvin wasn’t happy at all. He wasn’t impressed that we’d chosen an African American donor. He wanted to know why he should feel connected to this baby that had no biological ties to him or Bette. He said he could not realistically be asked to ‘participate in this fiction of our creation’. That is exactly how he put it.”

“You two certainly had a lot going on and then you suffer the tragedy of losing the baby. How did you manage after the miscarriage?”