“No, god I don’t mind at all…..” She touches my arm. It’s this shocking feel like stepping in a puddle with downed power line jumping and popping all over the place. I look her in the eye and I look away I can’t do this…I don’t know why I came here…this was a bad choice.

“I gotta go…I am sorry…”

“Hey wait….you can’t come in here and bring me lunch tell me a thing like that and walk away…That’s not friendly at all…now sit down…and let’s talk this out…and then you can take me for a walk outside…I swear I am getting cabin fever around here….”

“Ok so what do you think?” I asked her.

Ch 4

“What do I think?”

 Did Shane really want to know? I wanted to know when she was gonna let me kiss her. Every time I tried to make a connection she broke it off. I wanted to know the real reason why she came here, why she told me such personal details. I wanted to know…well I should answer her question first shouldn’t I?

“Ok truthfully no bullshit right? Well you’re not living your life Shane…and if you don’t take any chances…well you might as well be dead.” She gives me this look like she knew what I was trying to tell her.

“I know what you mean….I just don’t want to let my dad down.”

“I know you don’t. I know. And at some point your gonna have to deicide death or life. Because there is nothing worse than not living the way you want. There is nothing worse than the what about’s might have been’s and could have been’s, nothing.”

She just gets up and walks toward the window. Maybe I had her all wrong maybe she wasn’t as happy go lucky as I thought.

“Hey come on let’s get out of here and get some air…you don’t have to solve this right now do ya?”

“No…we don’t.” She smiles at me again like a kid in a candy store. She says she will be right back with the wheel chair. I look up at the ceiling thinking about ways to get Shane to open up and let me in.

So a couple of minutes goes by and she comes back in my room with a wheelchair. She helps me get in and her touch is hot. Like a furnace, or lava. I can feel her muscles in her arms. It seemed like everything slowed down as soon as she touched me. I can smell her hair, her skin. This is starting to get out of hand. But we don’t…nothing happens. And she rolls me out to the world.