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Lest I Forget (10)
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Even as I had the thought, I knew it was unfair. She was still the same person in every way that mattered. She was still in there…but no matter how much I tried to be hopeful, I knew she probably wasn’t going to advance too far beyond this stage, at least when it came to speech. Perversely I thought I’d prefer to have her bedridden the rest of her life and able to talk to me than this, and it made me feel horrible.
To try and stave off any more dark thoughts like that, I held her hand and continued our story.
**********
The tournament took a lot out of me, both mentally and physically. While I’d done some commentary since the cancer, it hadn’t been anything like this, and I think I might have been a bit too optimistic when I’d told ESPN I’d be okay to do it. For the most part I was, but at the end of the day I was literally dragging myself from place to place. By the third day, one of my fellow commentators noticed it, and told the main studio that he’d be handling all the interviews for me from there on out. He said it with an air of finality and didn’t mention my health, which I was really grateful for.
I spoke to him quite a bit over the next couple days, and he’s still a friend to this day. But I’m getting off topic here. The point is that I was wiped out and missing my new wife like crazy. I knew she had her own stuff to work on while I was gone, but that didn’t stop me from asking if I could leave the tournament a couple days early. I think the dark circles under my eyes might have influenced them into saying yes, but they scheduled me a flight right away. I ended up leaving two days before the tournament officially ended, which would have been unheard of if I’d been healthy.
I have to admit, I did feel a little guilty running out on them like that. I hadn’t been lying when I told them that I was exhausted and that I felt like it was going to affect my performance, but mostly I just missed Alice. I know that sounds pathetic, but it was true.
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So not filler, MT… I love the day-to-day stuff and the amazing connection and interaction between Alice and Dana. I don’t know of another writer that captures that as well as you do in both their thoughts and conversations. I love that Alice is still able to communicate — limited though it is. So sad, but, so true that Dana would prefer Alice bedridden and being able to talk. I gotta say: I’ve packed myself and had other folks do it and I prefer other folks doing it. I never thought I would, but, if you get good folks, it really is the way to go. I had one move where the mover actually fixed furniture that was broken before he put it in the truck. Look at me with my filler comments! ;-D I hope you are doing OK. I would so go to bed at 7 if I could swing it. Stupid work. In any case… Thanks for another incredible update to an amazing story, MT!!
heh I’ve stayed in my apartment for 12 yrs just cause I don’t want to pack, books and dvd’s alone would be a nightmare :)…Al’s comment about Shane building the bed took me right to when the three of them did the Love Boat commentary which was too effin funny…really great chap!!
beautiful!!!! great work. p.s hope everything is okay in life u really are a great writer :)
I haven’t commented in ages. Still love this story. It’s so poignant. Looking forward to reading more about the life story of Dana and Alice.
Loved it! No filler, don’t worry, this was great as always. Hope you feel better soon.
I love them! You’re writing is impeccable as always!Hope all is well with you! Sometimes you need to take time-out for yourself! I usually do it with wine, but that’s here nor there!!