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Lest I Forget (20)
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As we walked, I couldn’t help but fixate on the fact that the biggest changes in my life had all had something to do with hospitals. When I was young, I’d thought that finally coming out of the closet was going to be the big experience in my life, the one that changed everything for me. And in many ways it did, but they were mostly superficial changes. Looking back on it, I was amazed at how stupid I’d been then, thinking that my sexuality and whether or not I was open about it would play such a huge part in my life.
Not that it hadn’t had an effect. I don’t mean to sound as if I think that coming out wasn’t important; it was. In terms of my self confidence it worked wonders, but it was nothing at all compared to the day I’d walked out of the hospital after being so close to death. That had been the first time this place had really had an impact on my life. Finding Kallie there had been the second, and Charlie’s birth had been the third. I’d watched my mother deteriorate in a hospital not far from here; I’d watched Kit and then later Bette die here. These things had all changed my life, but somehow, none of them seemed to even remotely compare to this. It was as if the past four decades had been somehow marred, erased, by what lay before us when Alice was released. And I absolutely hated feeling that way.
It could have been much worse; I knew that. I think we all did, even Alice herself. But to all intents and purposes my life as I had known it had ended. I knew that Alice had never wanted to be a burden; we’d discussed it several times, more frequently as we aged, and I knew that she hated that idea more than anything. She’d seen what had happened with my mother, and how it had devastated not only myself but the rest of my family. She never wanted to have anything like that take place around her, whether her condition was mental or physical. We’d discussed letting nature take its course, and although she would survive now, I knew she wasn’t going to want to come home with me. She’d feel horrible about that, no matter how much I tried to convince her that she wasn’t a burden.
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Just letting you know that I am still faithfully reading, and enjoying, this story as well as “You”!
Yes I know I have been horrible with not leaving a comment in so long, but every chapter is so powerfully written that all I can think is wow. That said I find it truly great how strong the bond with the three of them is after all these years.
Don’t let the lack of comments get you down. They are low across the board. I think HD is right about a slump that occurs in the summer. This was another great update from you on this story! I love that Dana is understanding how much her being healthy means to everyone around her. I think it will help her mood and it will also give her the time to get well. Dana’s reaction to the return to the hospital was written perfectly. Love hearing more about how Kallie came to their family and some of her health issues. I wonder if they could either get a live-in nurse or maybe move together to an assisted living facility. It is great that Alice is finding a way to communicate. The Alice/Kallie dynamic is very interesting. Too funny that Alice was signing something about sex. Hee! I feel sorry for Angelica. But that Brendan is a cutie. Dana’s optimism at the end is wonderful. This really is an amazing, almost epic, story. You are doing a wonderful job with it and I also wait patiently for the next installment. Thanks, MT!!
yay! another great chapter my dear.yeah im still reading too, just silently and to myself :) but you can consider me having commented on each and every chapter with a resounding “nicely done!”
MT, I am very thankful that you step up the plate during this quiet time for Danish stories. MaGoose and I are not the only 2 reading your stories. lol. It’s summer again, remember last year? LMAO, Jenny and her toast again. I loved that D being D trying to hide her excitement of going to see A. The summation of the D’s 40 years of experience with the hospital and the rest of the chapter really got to me. Right now, I feel quite emotional thinking the possibility that A would end up in a home. D’s short visit also indicated the limitation of activities when people aged which also makes me sad. D touching both of A & S in silence was one of the best AlShaDane moment I have ever read. And thank you for explaining Kallie’s absense. Finally we got to meet Angie. I love that Brendan. Also glad that A’s condition had improved. Again, another powerful chapter and can’t thank you enough for your fantastic writing. I will patiently wait for your next installment.
I’m always reading, without fail. Sorry I just don’t always post a comment but I always think your stories rock! This one really is growing better and better as time goes on. :D