She looked a little startled by my question, and I realized that I probably shouldn’t have been as quiet as I was walking back into the room. “I’m sorry I surprised you,” I told her, but she shook her head a little bit and signed the letters o and k at me. “Well, at least you’re not mad at me,” I joked as I sat back down. “Are you feeling better now that you’re cleaned up a little? I bet you are.”

She signed yes at me, and then sighed. I knew what she meant, and I smiled as I took her hand. “It won’t be long before they’ll let you shower, baby. As soon as you can stand up they’ll help you,” I told her, but even as I said it I wondered just how long it would be before she could actually stand again. Maybe she’d never be able to. I shook my head to try to clear that thought away; it was too much for me to deal with.

She must have seen my little internal struggle, because I felt her squeeze my hand. I looked at her and smiled, trying to reassure her that I was okay. She didn’t buy it. Instead, she brought her hands up and made a slow scrubbing motion over herself, which was the sign for “bath.” It made me laugh.

“Yeah, you should ask them sometime. A bath would be a lot easier, you just have to sit there,” I said. Then I wondered how long it would be before she’d be able to do that…but I was able to stop myself from thinking that way when I remembered all the progress she’d been making lately in terms of movement. She might not be able to walk again or go ballroom dancing with me or anything, but I was pretty sure she’d be able to sit in a bathtub. And if she couldn’t, we’d work it out.

Alice brought me out of my little reverie by squeezing my hand. I smiled apologetically and looked back at her, and she brought her free hand to her mouth in the sign for “eat.” I rolled my eyes a little, but I nodded. She smiled when I did, and it made me laugh. “Quit trying to make me fat!” I teased her for the millionth time. She was always after me to eat more, but I’d gotten used to eating so healthily when I was training for tennis that I just never got out of the habit. It wasn’t that I really ate less than most people, it just usually looked like I did since I ate such light things with hardly any fat. Alice was constantly trying to get me to eat cheeseburgers and other junk, but I didn’t, and it exasperated her because she loved junk food. Well, she had before the stroke, anyway.