“I don’t know, Al,” I said after a minute. “I thought it’d be a good idea to find someone related to me, but…it’s kinda weird.”

“Yeah, it sort of is,” she agreed. “It’ll be weird if people find out, too.”

I nodded. We kept looking, and eventually I found a donor that seemed pretty much perfect. He’d been a swimmer all through college and had a really athletic build, and from his profile he seemed to be very healthy. He was also smart, having attended Stanford and graduating with honors. There was no history of major illness in his family, either.

“What do you think?” I asked Alice. She studied the profile for a few minutes and then looked back at me.

“I think he’s perfect. He even sorta looks like you,” she said softly. I looked back at the profile and grinned, because he really did. “I’m going to call Dr. Wilson and try to get this set up,” she told me.

“Wait…now?” I asked, completely dumbfounded.

“Well, not right this second or anything, but I’m gonna set it up. Or is that not okay?” she asked, starting to worry.

“It’s fine with me, I just…are you ready to do this so soon?” I asked, concerned.

Alice sighed and sat back down, taking my hand. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I talked it over with Helena and my main therapist. I think that if I don’t do this now, I’ll let all the possible problems scare me away, and I don’t want to do that.”

“But maybe you need some more time to work through things…”

She sighed. “Dana, I want you to listen to me. Sure, things aren’t perfect, but they never will be. I’m still working through some things, but there’s always going to be something to work through. We have some problems, but they’re not like the problems Bette and Tina were having when they decided to do this. We love each other and we want what’s best for each other. We love Kallie, and I love raising her with you. She’s a happy baby and we’re okay money-wise.” She paused. “I love you and I want to do this with you. But if you’re having second thoughts, or if you’re not ready yet, that’s fine. I can wait. I just think I’m in a pretty good place right now and I think this would be a good time to try.”