“She’s signing,” the nurse told me as soon as she was back on the line. “It looks like she’s telling you to sleep.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me at all,” I laughed and thanked her. I’d barely hung up when I got a call from Helena, just checking in. I was tempted to invite her to the cookout with Tina and the kids tomorrow, but I knew she’d understand that it was more of a family thing. Still, I felt bad and asked if she wanted to have lunch. She agreed immediately and we made plans to meet at one of the little cafes she was so fond of at around noon.

I put the phone down and sighed, because as soon as it was quiet I got hit with a wave of intense loneliness. If Al had been home, we’d have been talking, since she never shut up. I was beginning to realize how much of a blessing that was, though, and missed it terribly. Even if we’d been apart we’d have been talking on the phone until one of us fell asleep. I decided that I might as well lie down on the couch since there was nothing else to do, and I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. I turned on some sitcoms and decided I didn’t much care.

**********

I’d started taking Charlie to Helena’s youth center with me almost as soon as he could walk. It wasn’t a big deal to me, but he seemed to like leaving early on Saturday mornings and taking the car ride to the Center, where we’d spend some time on the tennis courts just chasing stray balls around. Obviously he wasn’t old enough to really play, but he seemed fascinated by the people that were, so we’d often sit and watch for awhile before leaving to get a box of donuts from the bakery. We tried to eat healthy the great majority of the time, but I didn’t see a problem with a fun breakfast once a week as long as Kallie had some extra insulin beforehand.

One Saturday I’d barely gotten Charlie set down in the hall before Alice said she wanted to talk to me. I told Charlie to go watch cartoons with his sister and turned to face Alice, wondering what I’d done this time. Alice didn’t like to fight with me, so I figured whatever it was had to be pretty important.