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    Lest I Forget (4)

    Which, looking back on it now, was probably the only reason she was able to keep writing. She’d admitted to me once when we were still nothing more than friends that she’d always been afraid to try writing novels. Throughout her life she’d been praised for her writing capabilities, but she’d never really bought into it. When I’d asked why, she’d just looked at me for a very measured moment before she answered, “It’s the only thing I’ve ever been told I’m good at, that’s all. I guess I feel like if I start to believe that I’m good at it, I won’t be anymore.”

    Needless to say, I’d had no idea what she was talking about and just stared at her blankly until she explained it a little better. “I realize I’m not bad at it or anything…but I worry that if I get a big head about it and really start to believe I’m more than okay at it, I won’t be any good anymore. I know it probably doesn’t make any sense to you, but that’s how I’ve always felt about it,” she said with a shrug.

    Thinking back on that, it was easy to see why she didn’t think her novel was any good. But it was, and it hurt a little to realize that she’d probably never see it that way. “Well, you can still go promote it. I mean, come on, Al…you get to go on Oprah! That’s pretty cool whether you think the book is good or not. Just go on the show and be yourself, it’ll be fine.”

    She agreed, if a little haflheartedly, and we left it at that. I knew it would come up again before too very long, but she seemed to want to focus on the wedding instead, and I didn’t mind that at all.

    The next two weeks were spent making plans. It seemed like it was an all-day, every day thing for us, but in reality Alice and I didn’t do a whole hell of a lot. Kit got people to decorate, my mom and Lenore called the florists and said they’d buy our dresses for us, Shane set out to find us a justice of the peace (although it wouldn’t be legal, we still wanted to take that step), and Helena said she’d make the food for our reception.

    Comments

    1. sigh…that was so fucking incredible. I really think that may have been my absolute favorite thing that I’ve ever read of yours. It was just…whatever, there are no words. Sooooo good.

    2. Beautiful! Thank you for another great update! The wedding I wish we could have seen on the show. So Danish that they woke up surprised that the big day was finally upon them. “If you gave her some security, her laptop and good food, she was pretty happy with life.” — I’m the same way! Except it could be mediocre food… I love how you wrote Alice’s reactions to the response to her book. Very “Alice”. And Gemma is a great character. Needless to say, I am looking forward to the next chapter!

    3. I said it to you before, this chapter was sweet and cute. Looking forward to the next chapter when their children will be there…and ofcourse that special device you promised. ;)

    4. MT, I am back and thrilled to be able to read the last 3 chapters all at once. I am touched by the proposal in Ireland. A declining the 1st proposal made a lot of sense. What a great wedding it was. The wedding vows were astounding. It brought tears to my eyes. MT. you are doing a incredibly marvelous job in D talking about their past. I am in awe of how you write A’s responses. This story is truly beautifully written. As sad as A could no longer speak, their ability to communicate proved without a doubt that they were soulmates. Please let A linger a little bit longer. I realize all things must come to an end. But it is just too hard for me personally to accept it. I can’t wait to read more. Thank you very much MT.

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