”In the beginning, I thought we had the same outlook on life, shared the same values and perspectives.  I deeply respected her as an artist. And continue to. And I loved how daring and unconventional she was with her art, her life, everything.”

”But something changed; I don’t know what it was. I was missing something, some deeper human connection, and when I tried to talk to her about it, she would basically dismiss me.”

”Pretty soon, I grew tired of being dismissed. Of downplaying how I felt.  When I saw things were never going to change, I told her I wanted out, that we were done.”

Bette paused, tilted her head to look at Tina, who continued to stroke her hair. Tina smiled gently, hazel eyes warm, steady.  Go on, she seemed to say with her eyes.

Bette continued in a reflective voice, ”She first tried to cajole me, and when that didn’t work, she tried to fight with me. She said Art magazine, which is a secret indulgence of mine, wanted to run a cover story on us, and that they had gotten in touch with her to photograph us together, with the angle being the West Coast art world’s power couple.  She said she thought it would be perfect, and great advertising for the new service I would be launching to Paris.  And that I would be a fool to pass it up.”

Bette continued with her story, ”I said it was a bad idea, and that there was no way I would get together just for the sake of positive press. I was also surprised she was taking that position, because she just didn’t seem interested in this new project I had with the air service.”

”So we fought and argued about that. The argument happened in the gallery, and when she left my office that day, I thought that we were done.” 

”Well, she came by again the next day to try to make up, trying to kiss me.  I told her again, that we were done.”

Bette was beginning to get riled up, the memory of her arguments with Jodie unsettling her again. She paused and took a breath.  However, talking about it with Tina made her realize that she was beginning to remember what had happened with Jodie, painful as it was at the time, without as much anger any longer. She was beginning to form a memory of the failed relationship without reliving the pain or anger.  Later on, as her relationship with Tina deepened, she realized that this reflective moment in the couch, safe in Tina’s warm embrace, was likely the moment that she began to fall deeply, irrevocably, in love with the stunning woman. That there was something much more intimate and magical in their relationship than undeniable physical attraction.