They really should have had this talk earlier, much earlier.

Tina was saying, “I’m not telling you now that this was all bad.  Not at all.  In fact, I’d say I grew a lot in the first few months after moving to New York, much more than I would have had I stayed in LA.”

“But,” Tina paused, and then said carefully, “One thing I hadn’t counted on during the move, and in the few months following that, was how often I would find myself alone.”

Tina paused, again.  Hazel eyes looked back into Bette’s brown ones, communicating, reaching out.  How best to continue?    She suddenly remembered what Logan had said, as he was comforting her, during their first meaningful conversation in early spring, when he’d come to visit her at their apartment.  He was describing what he’d seen between Bette and Tina, and was trying to assure the blonde that he thought things would, eventually, end well between the two. 

He’d explained, “It’s the eyes that have it.  Your eyes.  Her  eyes.  When you both look at each other, or towards the other… you both had this look about the other.  I’ve come to understand where that look comes from….With you and Bette, love is not just about the other, not just an attitude toward the other.  Love is an emotion you share with one another.   So this love is not so much about you, or about her, but about the world you share, a unique world you share with one another.”

Now, looking into Bette’s eyes, while telling her about a painful, difficult experience triggered by Scott, she thought Logan may have been right, at some level, and her eyes misted. 

Bette and I do share a world, a unique emotion unto ourselves.  That world just seemed hidden from view right now, because of the traumatic circumstances behind their separation, as well as the long silence between them.  But that world may still be there, Tina thought. Or at least some part of it.

She drew another breath.  Tina didn’t want this to be fault-finding talk; she wanted it to be a cleansing talk – reflective, not defensive. Kind. Respectful. Considerate. Yet truthful. Reflective of their world, a world she sought to recapture.  As she continued to look into Bette’s eyes, she realized it was a world Bette was trying, at some level, to touch, too.  This gave Tina hope.  Trust in her, Tina.  Trust in the truth of that world.  Just let it happen.  Whatever comes, will come.