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    Let Me In – 3

    Story written on February 9, 2006 by tiff_duke.
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    Character(s): N/A
    Number of Comments: 25
    Words: 1175
    Story Shortlink: https://lesfan.com/?p=59500
    Author Notes:

    Angelica and Tina.

    Tina grinned at her daughter. "There’s more."

    Angelica distractedly took hold of her mother’s hand, and gripped it in her hands.

    "God, you have such small hands," Tina noted, observing her daughter’s grip. "You like to hold on, don’t you?"

    As if in agreement, Angelica tightened her hold.

    "Okay, I’ll tell you," Tina said lightly. "I never meant our lives to be like this. When I decided to have you I thought we’d be this happy family, and you’d be this great gift I didn’t get to give your mom with your brother."

    Angelica pulled on Tina’s hand, playful. Tina smiled, grateful that Angelica may not understand her, but nonetheless was listening. Hearing her.

    "I thought that, you know, we’d have a certain amount of security. No matter what happened, that your mom and I were solid. I just didn’t think you mom could handle losing another baby." Tina smiled fondly at her baby. "When I thought I lost her all I knew was that I really wanted you in my life. That’s all. You were never going to betray me, I wasn’t going to lose you the way I lost your brother, and your mom."

    Angelica looked up at her mother, concerned, when Tina started to cry.

    "Baby, I’m sorry. This isn’t what I wanted for you. I thought, this was going to be best for us. We’d be the happy family I thought we were going to be." Tina whispered. "Angel, you have to believe me. I’m sorry."

    Angelica held Tina’s hand tightly, tensing up, and Tina knew that her daughter was a little more sensitive to her moods and emotions than she thought.

    "Okay, I’ll stop," Tina said lightly, lifting her daughter up and kissing her forehead. "I just want you to know, baby, no matter what happens, your mom and I love you. And I’m going to be right here. We’ll be fine. We’ll be okay."

    Angelica nestled closer to her mother, trying out her verbal ability.

    Tina let out a small chuckle. "Yeah, I know. I talk too much. Sorry. You’ll find it really annoying when you grow up." She pulled Angelica back, and gazed lovingly at her daughter. "You look so much like your mother I don’t know how I’ll look at you and not be reminded of her." Tina smiled at the baby. "This great woman who can look at you, and break your heart. Smile, and make you feel like everything’s going to be fine. You’re going to be like your mom, right, baby? Be great? Be the woman who holds my heart and not realize the many ways you can break it?"

    Angelica giggled, and placed her own tiny hands to her mother’s face.

    Tina smiled, the first honest and genuine smile she’s had in what felt like weeks. Without the worry, without the concern, without the part of her that knew she was lying. She grinned at her daughter. "Yeah, I thought so." She gently kissed her daughter. "And when it happens, honey, please allow me the bragging rights to say I told you so."

    Angelica smiled.

    Tina regarded her daughter thoughtfully, relishing this moment. Sure, she was going to be tired in the morning, not having gotten her full night’s rest. Sure, she was going to have to answer to why Angelica was sleeping in.

    Sure.

    Tina grinned at Angelica. "I love you. No matter what. No matter what happens, and what’s going on now. I love you. Please don’t ever forget that."

    Angelica looked back at her mother.

    "Not tired at all, are you?" Tina smiled. "Okay. But we’re going back to bed. Just in case I fall asleep on you, okay?"

    Giggle.

    "You’re too adorable." Tina noted, getting to her feet, and cradling Angelica closer to her.

    If only she could just have Angelica with her the whole damn day. Holding her close, feeling her heartbeat… it made everything worth it. It made her feel warm, and safe. It gave her comfort.

    It made her feel unconditionally loved.

    Page 2 of 212
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    Comments

    4. Great chapter and please tell me that Bette overheard Tina talking to the baby and beat it back to bed before Tina saw her. Please let that happen. Tina has to tell Bette that she still loves her and wants to make it work. Thanks for the post.

    5. This would be a great scene in the show, giving the views a glimpse into what is going on int that crazy head of Tinas. As always, wonderfully written, looking forward to the next post!

    6. Very sweet. I am happy that Tina is talking to someone, but notice it is someone who can not give her any sage advice~LOL! I am happy that we were privy to hear what she is thinking and feeling as I have been exhausted watching her just do things without talking, you know. The way you expertly described their interchange makes me wanna be a mom, but I am so afraid of the pain…the agony. I wonder who thought watching birthing videos in health class are a good idea…and the baby show, whew~LOL! Thank you for sharing.

    8. I also have the feeling that you will have Tina and Bette part ways. So sweet the way Tina is bonding with Angelica but yet so sad that she seems to have made up her mind about her relationship with Bette. Thanks for the update.

    9. That made me all weepy and I had to go look at my sleeping child and now I’m weepier. Your writing is beautiful. I’m also so enjoying Pick-a-Part. So glad you are still doing that one.

    11. As someone who still cares about Tina even after the damn s/l this season and someone who doesn’t think Tina has become less human as some ppl think, I found this very interesting.. If only Ilene would give us some of that in the show, I don’t care if it’s gonna break anyones heart, I just wanna know what is going on through Tina’s mind.. Thank you..

    12. finally we can see human tina…well, she can ask helena and get a day off and spend it with angelica and bette even, to see if there’s something worth to save…i think there is, but tina is the one who has to believe in it

    18. Tiff….as a mother I say thanks to you. This was so touching…and might I add reminded me of some late night coversations I’ve had with my 8 month old…they way they reach out and touch your heart…you captured that to the nth degree!

    19. Angie is so cute,If her mommy wasnt so up tight,and lay off of her Mom thing would be so much better. She[Tina] didnt mind spending the mega buch that Bette made, How long can this go on? thanks

    21. Yes, you did a fine job trying to humanize s3 Tina, but she’s still on my shit list, and this heartfelt chapter hasn’t swayed me one bit. I’m still loath to give her much sympathy, until she gets her head out of her ass and friggin’ talks to a psychologist/therapist about her inability or unwillingness to get over her hurt and anger.As always, great writing, tiff.

    22. A therapist might help Tina, but she needs to talk to Bette. At this point Bette doesn’t know that Tina loves her and wants to stop them “falling apart”. Ironically, Tina is the reason they are falling apart. Bette dirt is done, Tina is still piling hers on and not taking responsibility for doing so.

    23. I love this story as I love all your others. Chapter Two was great. I do believe that Helena will help T find her way back to Bette during season 3. I kind of wish you would have let Bette overhear the conversation between her two loves in this chapter. Keep up the excelant work. Thanks.

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