You, my dear, may finally have learned to judge in shades of grey. I have always thought that it was a modification you would need to make and I feared that it would take some unpleasant circumstances you make that happen. Youve always been too absolute, Bette. You have created standards that make no allowance for the frailty that is a component of our humanity. Rigid structures cannot withstand the blows of the hurricane winds, it is those structures that bend a bit which survive. I hope, now, that you have learned the lesson that you must relax some of your rigidity in order to survive the winds. Whereas you have always claimed to stand upon the value of tolerance, you have never practiced it for yourself and have often not practiced it with others. There is a lesson to be learned here, Bette, and I hope you are learning it.

This same lesson may apply to Tina, as well. I know Tina to be someone who is loving and always advocates forgiving. Now that she is called upon to truly practice her own values, we shall see if the Tina we thought we knew is, in fact, the Tina of reality. To some degree, we are all hypocrites. The true test is whether or not we admit it. You, my friend, are having to learn to admit it. Can Tina do the same?

I know what you are thinking. My marriage is falling apart and this idiot is babbling about learning life lessons. The reality is that you cannot change Tina. You cannot make her into what she may not be capable of being. You can, however, come out of this experience a less flawed person and through that you may find it easier to live with yourself.

Life is like art. Some of us look at the painting and see only a bowl of fruit. To others, that bowl of fruit speaks with a meaning that enlightens us and we are richer for the experience. Perhaps Tina can see only the bowl of fruit. My question for you is whether you will see further and be enlightened by the experience.

Often in life, I have felt that I was born to play the role of the devils advocate. That is what I am trying to do and forgive me as the devils advocate rarely speaks in pleasantries. In my role, however, it is my duty (as I have attempted above) to question whether it is possible that you and Tina werent meant to be. I believe that despite yourself, you are capable of seeing more than a bowl of fruit. I must also question whether Tina can do the same.

With my affection and my poor attempts in your time of suffering,
Jules