As Bette and Shane sat in silence they both found peace in the moment but realized that they were treading dangerous waters. Bette knew it was too late to avoid the weirdness. Shane finally broke the silence. You know I really want you to be happy and if you have that with Tina I will walk away. Now, I wish I had kept my feelings hidden. It just got to be too much. My feelings for you became a burden I couldnt carry alone. Now I know they were too overpowering to share. I dont know what I expected from you. Could you consider us being an us? Shane was surprised that she had the nerve to ask the question, but she had come this far”why not? Bette sat there, she wanted to pretend she hadnt heard her, but she couldnt ignore it. Though she had never considered Shane in the past, in these few fleeting moments her mind began to wonder if she and Shane could be a couple. As she sat there entertaining the thought a slow smile appeared on her face. What”I see that, what are you thinking? Shane asked.

I dont know I mean you are my girl– the one who I can just be around with no tension and you always help me see things a little more clearly. When I let my temper get the best of me, you always know what to say. I think Id be calmer, different. Bette immediately began to feel guilty for the brief consideration. She attempted her best back peddling I dont know I have never considered it and Shane as much as the what if game has some appeal. The truth is I have a love in my life that makes me KNOW I cant seriously consider anything else. I mean I cant do this.I cant, I have to go. This isnt right me here with you like this. It would kill Tina if she knew and I wont cause her anymore pain. Bette let go of Shanes hand and quickly got up to leave. Bette look dont leave upset. I’m sorry. I overstepped my boundaries. Look we both agree we dont want any weirdness”just forget about it, please. Shane I cant forget about it, I mean you lay your heart out on the line and ask me to forget. I cant do that. I know how special your heart is and I dont want to break it. Bette noticed Shane give a weak, pained grin she realized what she had said and she meant it. Bette did care for Shane, a lot but she didnt want to give her any mixed signals it wouldnt be right. Shane I dont want to hurt you and I wont hurt Tina., with that she was gone. She walked away and didnt look back, she couldnt.

Bette drove around for a while and as promised order out dinner. She got home and set everything up hoping that she could take her mind off the events of the day”it was too much to bear. My friend, the laid back cool one, the stud of the group is romantically interested in me? I still dont know how or why. Bette kept trying to think what she could do to remedy the situation. She thought to herself either way you look at it someone is going to get hurt and God I hate to hurt Shane but theres no way to avoid it. Bette sighed aloud Why did she have to tell me this? Why?


Tina drove up to the house whispering a prayer God please let Bette tell me about Shane. Cause if she doesnt I wont be able to trust her and if I cant trust her I cant stay with her. I cant. Give me strength. Tina took several deep breaths trying to calm her nerves she was about to give the best performance she could muster, pretend she hadnt seen the unlikely pair at the park in what seemed like a very emotional exchange. Tina gathered her bag put a smile on her face and walked in the house, hoping that Bette would share the events of her day.

Tina: Hey honey Im home.

Bette: Oh hi T! Dinner is all ready come in and tell me about your day.

Tina: OK (Tina couldnt believe Bette was acting so, so normal. She isnt going to tell me, maybe she will. I will play along and see where this is going.) Well I was suppose to have one appointment with a guidance counselor about an after school program but one of the chaperones backed out for a field trip to the museum so in order for the kids to go I volunteered to tagalong. We actually had fun. The kids were great.

Bette: Thats good T! You know when I get back to work maybe we can have the kids come to the gallery to check it out. Of course after Provocations leaves. I dont think this particular exhibit is for 12 year olds.

Tina: Oh babe thats a great idea.

It seems like things were silent for an eternity Tina couldnt remember who had spoken last or what was said. All she knew was Bette hadnt spilled the events of her day that Tina so desperately needed to hear. Tina didnt want to reveal what she knew but it was becoming increasingly more difficult not to say anything she began to think TALK say something this silence is killing me. I know I have to say something.

Tina: So babe how was your day, did you ever catch up with Alice?

Bette: No T I didnt she told me her research was running a little long so I didnt get to see her today. I may call her later though.

The conversation remained light and carefree. Bette not wanting to burden Tina with unnecessary worry about this thing with Shane and Tina waiting to deal with the secret she already knew. They were both pretty good at not dealing with the issue at hand and they both knew that was the root of their problems -not dealing, not communicating, not trusting each other enough to be strong, supportive, and caring.

Bette began to clear away the dishes and clean up. Oh Tina dont forget we have another session with Carrie Thursday. Just thinking about the work at hand of rebuilding their relationship had Bette dealing with this all too familiar feeling. She hadnt anticipated the feelings of guilt she was beginning to feel about not telling Tina about Shane. But how could she tell Tina? Bettes mind began to debate: To Tell or Not to tell Tina would definitely be angry with Shane for coming on to me. I know I would be pissed if Shane came on to Tina but God I would be even more pissed if Tina didnt tell me. Really how can I not tell her, we all hang out it will come up eventually right? God I really dont know what to do. Maybe, maybe Tina can help me to find the right words to let Shane down easily maybe we can keep our friendship, our family intact. I promised no secrets God do I really want to break another promise to Tina now, ever?

Tina had excused herself from the table. She was now in the living room she felt herself becoming more and more anxious she felt her heart pound within her chest harder and harder until it began to burn. The idea that Bette could keep this hidden means she hasnt changed. If she hadnt been attacked would I be here, would I be wearing this again? Looking down at her ring and wondering exactly what its a symbol of: secrets, lies, betrayal and me pretending everything is okay. Not anymore! Tina says as she goes back into the kitchen to confront Bette for the last time on yet another secret.

Just as Tina approached Bette, Bette blurted out. T, I need to tell you something I.Im sorry I didnt mention it earlier but I thought about it and decided I didnt want to burden you with it. I had second thoughts though and realized thats the kind of thinking that led us to a lot of the problems we have been having. I dont want to keep any secrets from you. I have to trust you enough to share good things and bad things. So here goes T. Its pretty serious and I dont know how to handle it, I am hoping you will be able to help me.

As Bette was about to begin unloading this weight Tinas heart began to race even faster she couldnt believe that Bette was opening up Bette was sharing this with her Thank you God, I can trust her. I can believe in her, in us! Tina thought to herself.

Tinas eyes begin to water with tears of relief and joy she was so moved she hadnt even heard what Bette was saying. Bette noticed a kind of far-off look of amazement in Tinas eyes and interrupted herself Tina did you hear me? Oh no babe I am sorry whats going on Tina replied but she couldnt wipe the smile off of her face.

Bette held Tinas hand as they walked over to the sofa and Bette began again. I dont know what transpired that made you think that Shane had developed feelings for me but today I found out that you were right. I spoke to Kit and she evidently knew too so I was the only one not aware of Shanes new found feelings for me. Tina I dont think she is really interested in me. I mean I hope not because I love Shane. She is my, our friend, our family and I want it; need it to stay like that. I am telling you this so that you can help find a way to keep us together, all of us, as a family. Shane has been there for me through it all, our break up, the attack, and she and I kind of have a short hand with each other. I can say things without really saying them and she helps me to understand myself better and T I dont want to lose that. The thing is I knew I had to tell you because I cant lose you, not again and if the tables were turned I would want you to tell me.

Tina had listened to Bette she heard everything she said and she was just overjoyed Bette opened up she really didnt consider what they could actually do to remedy the situation. Tina didnt even really want to talk about it, not tonight. She just wanted to be close to Bette because she knew she was really home. Any and all doubts had faded away and she needed to BE with Bette. Babe I knew Shane had developed feelings for you. She all but told me and its a lot to deal with but tonight can we just be together? Tina was now moving closer to Bette she moved in for a kiss. Bette didnt know how to react. She wasnt expecting Tina to behave like this. Bette gave in and Tina began to deepen the kiss. Bette became light headed and lost in the warmth and sweetness of the kiss. It was so deep and passion-filled. Tina grabbed Bettes hand and led her to their bedroom. Bette tensed up as Tina began to undress her. Bette had been able to make love since the attack once but for some reason this, this felt different. Bettes apprehension wasnt detected my Tina. Tina continued to shower Bette with slow sensual kisses. Tinas touch was light yet calculated-her aim was to connect with Bette, to celebrate the new level of trust she felt they had reached. Tina began to whisper, I can trust you babe. I can really trust you. As she continued to caress, kiss, and embrace Bette. Bettes body was very responsive to Tinas touch. Bette became more than aroused but doubts and fear began to fill her mind. Bettes body was receptive to the release that Tinas touch delivered but her mind kept thinking it was somehow false. Bette lay there physically satisfied but emotionally she felt abandoned. Tonight Bette wanted to talk things through, but somehow that was completely lost on Tina. She was no closer to a resolution about the Shane ordeal and she couldnt understand why Tinas reaction to this problem was to make love. Then she repeated, I can really trust you? As she lay there in Tinas arms she turned to face her lover and asked, T what do you mean you can REALLY trust me?

TBC