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Life and Love and Why – 31
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"I think the biggest problem is when I see you with her."
Tina looked up from her close examination of the water bottle on the table in front of her, to level her gaze upon her mother. She said nothing.
Tina had decided she was going to stop giving her mother a chance to explain, that the older woman was going to have to start asking for it. And Clarissa Kennard was aware that she’d already stretched the limits of how much her daughter was willing to take, and felt it was up to her to make the attempt.
They had gone to the visitors’ lounge not soon after Bette and Angelica had left, after both Kennard women decided that they did not want to have their conversation so near the hospital room of Thomas Kennard.
Not that he’d hear anything, being asleep and everything, but they weren’t going to take any chances. And to have him so close by would have been disconcerting for them both.
So they sat in the sparsely populated lounge, which suited both women just fine.
Clarissa Kennard glanced at her daughter, and realizing no response was forthcoming, continued. "You’re not the girl we sent off to college, Christina. And it’s never more apparent than when you are with her."
"Bette and I are together, Mom. It’s kind of a given that you’ll see me with her." Tina said simply, glancing briefly at her mother, before turning back to the water bottle.
Mrs. Kennard looked at the woman across from her, and sighed. "I realize that what I said at dinner were… hurtful."
A small sound of muted indignation was her reply.
"But nothing I said wasn’t fact."
Tina sighed in exasperation, looking up at her mother. "Did you see our daughter?"
"Angelica’s a lovely girl," Mrs. Kennard answered promptly.
"Do you have any idea what Bette and I went through, how much she and I have experienced, just to be here, together, with our beautiful daughter?" Tina asked. She saw the puzzled expression on her mother’s face, and began to expound. "I won’t lie, being a biracial child to mixed race lesbian parents is going to be difficult for her. Bette and I know that. But we look at her, and know that there is nothing that we won’t do for her. There’s no line, no conditions, to the love and support we will give her. Because when we tell her we love her we don’t want her to ever question that. She will never doubt that."
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I missed you Tiff! Welcome back…and thanks for the great story. This is simply pride and prejudice (sorry Jane Austen). Tina’s mum is struggling with this. It is pretty big of Tina to let her daughter be that bridge. Trust has to be earned back. 2nd chances do take place…but it’s definitely earned. Thanks for the realistic dialoque. Thanks for not making it powder-puff. You are awesome!
You were sorely missed–thanks for the brilliant chapter!
Evidently Moms had no such problems with her older children finding mates. She saved it all up for when her youngest made her nest empty? C’mon, Clarissa, there’s no point in sending your kid off to college (or PAYING for it!) if you want to get the same kid back at the end.
My thoughts exactly, funnyone! Allowing Angie a chance to know her grandparents is fine, but I think Tina & Bette should be wary of Clarissa’s poison. Thanks for posting another great chapter! PPS!
Thanks for the update. Hearing Tina remind her mother that she asked her to leave makes me realize how much her mother hurt her. She made the effort to reconnect by sending her pictures of Angie and her mother still rejected her. I really give her a lot of credit for giving her mother the chance to explain herself and for offering her a relationship with Angie. I’m finding myself very angry with Tina’s mother right now. I believe that she’s truly sorry for what she’s done and she wants to make things right but I don’t think I would be as open as Tina is being. Tina does have a really big heart and I hope her mother starts to take better care of it.
I can only hope that Clarissa’s awareness of her reasons was prompted by Tina’s trip rather than being old news. Because it’s all very well to just dislike Bette because of a gut feeling, but to actually know that what you disliked was seeing your daughter as a grown-up full person and not do anything about it for ten years… well, Mrs. K wouldn’t deserve much slack then. And may I say just how ironic it all is? From the descriptions, it seemed as Mr. and Mrs. K pushed their kids to be the best they could be and to be involved in many things. There’s no point in doing that other than hoping for a bright future for your kids as they grow into adulthood… Weird that Tina’s mother never really wanted that for her (them). Thanks for coming back, I was missing this story but didn’t want to push. PPS!
glad to see you back…starting to understand tina’s mom a little…but just a little…still waiting to see what’s tina’s sister’s problem
I was so happy to see this post. I was just thinking about this story last night (and I don’t think very often). Tina is working hard to keep the line of communication open between her mother. Maybe through Angelica, they can become a closer family, of course Bette is very much a part of the Porter-Kennard clan.
Glad to see Tina and her mom talking. I just hope Angie getting to know her grandmother will not end up hurting her. Thank you PPS Graet Chapter!!!!
what a treat. intelligent conversation, even if painful. youre missed when gone. thx
Glat to see Tina’s and her mom talk but they will tolk more and work thing out. Please post more, thanks!
Tiff I am so happy to see you posted.Were have you been?I enjoyed this conversation between the women.I think its realistic that Tina is wary of her Mom right now but is giving her a chance to be in her and Angie’s life at least as a grandmother.Maybe they can rebuild and forgive each other one day.Lines of communication are open.More Bette and Tina please.
So good to see this story – don’t leave us like that again! PPS.
I am so glad to see you continuing this story, it’s a great one. That was a tough talk. Tina is very forgiving, I don’t know that I would be so calm through all of her mother’s crap. I guess at least they are talking now, somewhat rationally. Thanks for posting.
I forgot to add that I think Tina has a bigger heart than most. First she is generously trying to see her mother’s side, and secondly she’s willing to allow Angelica to spend time with a woman who has already established she’ll dump her flesh and blood as soon as she does something she doesn’t like. Having been in this situation two things come to mind. One is the anger never goes away, and when you realize you’re a disposable child something dies inside you. Secondly, there is the fear of having your child poisoned by someone whose love is utterly conditional. Clarissa will forever be a heartbeat away from crushing Angelica’s world. Tina’s either insane to gamble with Angelica’s heart, or is a bigger, braver woman than I.
After reading socal’s comment, I haven’t got much to add to that, except to say that I’m glad Tina’s willing to give her mother the chance for Angelica’s sake. That was a great chapter, tiff, and I’m glad to see you back. Thanks
I really love the honesty of this story and how the characters really have to work at communicating with one another and I love that they don’t always resolve their issues in one or two conversations. It’s difficult to be this real tiff you are doing amazingly! Pps
Finally! I was toying with the idea of reading a page per day…so I hv something to look forward to next 4 days!..PPS!
Loving your story as always. I can see why Tina would trust her mother with her daughter’s heart, while she’s still having trouble trusting her with her own. When Bette betrayed her and Tina couldn’t get past that, she never doubted Bette would love Angelica and be good to her. Angelica served as a bridge for them to cross back to each other in tough times– maybe Tina is offering her mother that bridge as well?
Tina’s a brave woman to give her mother the benefit of the doubt, or at least trying to. hopefully Mrs. Kennard has learned her lesson. Glad your back Tiff, I was missing this story.
Tiff so good to see you back with us. That was some talk Tina had with her mother. Just what the heck did Mrs. K think would happen when Tina went to college. We expect our children to be enlightened with their education, to learn new things and for God’s sake to grow up and be responsible individuals that contributes to society. I’d say Tina has fulfilled all that and then some and turned out to be one of the most loving and caring individuals on the planet. Just ask Shane. With all the love Tina has for Bette, Angie and all their friends, she still has an extra measure of love and care for Shane to give her something she never had, a mother figure by Shane’s own admission. Mom Kennard should meet Shane and let her tell her what kind of person Tina is. Sad that Ms. K can not see what an awesome daughter she reared. She has done all this while suffering the loss of her own mother thru stupidty. Hopefully Angelica will be the bridge to bringing them together again, but she had better be careful with little Angie because she will have to deal with Alpha Tina and Bette, and this would be one time that no one would be able to stop Tina or Bette from taking a big chunk out of Ms. K’s behind if she did anything to hurt Angie. Ms. K should also realize that yes Angie is a lovely smart little child and she is the spitting image of her mother and of Bette. They have imbued her with all hte lovely qualities she has at age 5. She is very intelligent, able to read already, and she isn’t even in school yet. All that Angie is should show Ms. K what kind of person Tina is, in fact, Ms. K should fall down and lick Tina’s shoes. Thanks for posting.
Tiff so good to see you back with us. That was some talk Tina had with her mother. Just what the heck did Mrs. K think would happen when Tina went to college. We expect our children to be enlightened with their education, to learn new things and for God’s sake to grow up and be responsible individuals that contributes to society. I’d say Tina has fulfilled all that and then some and turned out to be one of the most loving and caring individuals on the planet. Just ask Shane. With all the love Tina has for Bette, Angie and all their friends, she still has an extra measure of love and care for Shane to give her something she never had, a mother figure by Shane’s own admission. Mom Kennard should meet Shane and let her tell her what kind of person Tina is. Sad that Ms. K can not see what an awesome daughter she reared. She has done all this while suffering the loss of her own mother thru stupidty. Hopefully Angelica will be the bridge to bringing them together again, but she had better be careful with little Angie because she will have to deal with Alpha Tina and Bette, and this would be one time that no one would be able to stop Tina or Bette from taking a big chunk out of Ms. K’s behind if she did anything to hurt Angie. Ms. K should also realize that yes Angie is a lovely smart little child and she is the spitting image of her mother and of Bette. They have imbued her with all hte lovely qualities she has at age 5. She is very intelligent, able to read already, and she isn’t even in school yet. All that Angie is should show Ms. K what kind of person Tina is, in fact, Ms. K should fall down and lick Tina’s shoes. Thanks for posting.
Thanks for the update. I’ve been missing this story. :)
Oh Thank you for updating. I have missed this story and so glad that TIna and her mother have had the conversation! Thank you :)
Hope you had a good summer Tiff – i missed you! nice to have 5 pages from you – looking forward to more… & more Bette & tina please?
Hard, but unflinchingly real. It’s hard for me to feel much for Tina’s mom. I don’t see her desperate enough even to be a good grandmother. There seems an underlying bitterness not just towards Bette, but towards Tina as well.
I have been checking everyday for updates, Thank for posting a great update on my B-day. PPS
wow. that was deep and familiar territory. thx.
Oh Tiff, I have sooo been waiting for this conversation! It was a bit of a wait, but so worth it. It will be interesting to see if or how the dynamics of their relationships change in the next chapters. Can’t wait!
Hi Tiff. Just recently stumbled on this site after watching the L-Word…yes I know, lagging behind quite abit here…It was and is a pleasant surprise to discover your fanfics…I love them…the current one (Life & Love & Why), previous ones (Chandelier; Reprise; Now & Then…)…love them love them love them…THANK-YOU!!!…please post soon
Hey Tiff, great to see you posting. I guess Angelica is “Little Cindy Lou Who” to Clarissa’s “Grinch”. Can’t imagine putting conditions on the love for your child. Kudos to Tina for being the bigger person.