(finishes off the rest of her drink)

Bette:

She’ll never trust me again. I don’t even trust myself anymore. I never knew that I was capable of this kind of destruction. I never thought I would end up being a cheater…

Candace:

(cutting her off)

You’re going to have to find a way to forgive yourself.

Bette:

(she begins to tear up, her countenance that of a child)

I’m a monster…

Candace:

(under her breath)

Here we go.

(Bette begins to wail with an extremely uncharacteristic dramatic abandon)

Candace:

(sets down the lo mein and takes a big gulp of her drink, then grabs Bette’s wrist and shakes it to get her attention)

Bette…Bette…look at me…you are not a monster. You are just a human being who has made some poor choices. And by the looks of it, your poor choice du jour was switching from scotch to vodka. Why did you do that?

Bette:

(still sobbing pathetically)

I feel so useless without her. I just rattle around this house. And I see her everywhere…in the mirrors…in shadows…out of the corner of my eye…I smell her when I get in the bed…

Candace:

That’s quite a haunted head you’ve got there.

Bette:

God, I miss her…I mean, I feel a visceral loss…like I’ve been disemboweled…and I miss all of the people we had in our life. And now she’s got them…and I know they’re all laughing at me…

Candace:

Jesus, Bette….you’ve got to stop this. No one is laughing at you.

Bette:

Sure they are. Miss Priss has finally fallen off her high horse. I’ve chastised them like a school yard know-it-all for years now, and here I’ve made the biggest ***** mistake possible. I’ll be eating crow for the next decade.

Candace:

(chuckles)

Tastes like chicken…

(Bette glares at Candace for a second, then bursts out laughing)

Candace:

There’s that smile. Why do you hide that smile? You could catch a fish without a hook, girl.

(Bette continues to giggle as she wipes dry her tear soaked face)

Candace:

So, is the Porter pity party officially over?

(Bette nods yes)