“But I can’t cancel it!” Eric protested. “Can’t Bette take you on a date some other time? At least give me a chance… you haven’t even given me the time of day.”

“And that has a reason, Eric. I am a lesbian, gay. G-A-Y. I like women, boobs. Get the picture? Now, as Bette said, bugger off.”

“But you haven’t given me -”

“Eric Dumb-” Tina paused. “-erson, what part of what I just said did you not understand? You don’t get a chance because I’m not interested in you. You lack stuff up there and have a package down there that me no likes.”

He was about to protest again, but I didn’t want Tina to get totally pissed – and that was the road she was taking now. I wanted this evening to be about us and the least I could use was fucking Eric DUMBerson to ruin that.

“Come on, Tina, let’s go. Dan, maybe you can talk to Eric? The poor boy doesn’t seem to quite understand the concept of being gay, or even the concept of not being interested.”

Dan nodded and I took Tina’s hand. We walked to my car. I knew Tina wouldn’t have been so rude with Eric if it had been her mom standing next to her. Her dad just cared less about how she treated people, as long as she was correct. If someone irritated her, he thought she had the right to tell him all sorts of stuff to get rid of him. Nancy would say that Tina always had to be polite, even if she didn’t feel like it.

When we were in the car, I turned the radio on again but turned the volume down a bit. I manoeuvred the car on the road. Tina was silent and I looked at her worriedly.

“Is something wrong?” I asked tentatively.

Tina sighed and rested her head on her hand. My eyes caught her delicious cleavage that was already giving me some great ideas for tonight. “Don’t you think we were a bit harsh with Eric?”

I shrugged. “He’ll survive, I’m sure. It was just a weird idea of him to even do this in the first place.” Tina’s Nancy-genes were obviously kicking in.