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Looking Back: Ch. 18
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Chapter 18
Jack please, I dont want to discuss this anymore, she said as she walked to the fireplace.
Erica sweetheart, you have got to stop trying to talk Bianca into giving up the baby. Its not going to work.
Erica turned around, eyeing him, Did she tell you to come over and change my mind? It wont happen.
Jackson Montgomery closed his eyes. He loved Erica Kane more than he ever thought hed ever love anyone, but there were times when his patience was stretched thin. He took a deep breath – he knew trying to pressure her into something she absolutely did not want to do would just make her push back harder.
It was one of the things he loved about her. She could take adversity and turn it in her favor. This wasnt one of those times however.
No Erica… its wasnt Bianca.
It was Kendall wasnt it, she huffed. Kendall is always scheming… she began pacing the penthouse floor.
Listen to me… he said cutting her short.
Alright, she replied as she stopped pacing and sat down on the sofa. She had heard that tone of voice before and knew it would be in her best interest to sit down and hear him out.
Darling… it wasnt Kendall, he held up his hand. Sweetheart, I know youre doing this because youre concerned for Bianca…
Of course I am, she replied standing up quickly. Im her mother. I love her.
I know that, Bianca knows that, he said as he sat her down once more and took her hand in his, his thumbs gently rubbing the back of her hands. He looked her straight in the eyes, It was Lena.
Lena!
Jackson held her hands tightly – recognizing that this is one of the moments Erica would begin to pace. It was one of the ways she expressed herself – one of the ways she got rid of her nervous energy.
Honey, Lena called me, shes concerned…
Is something wrong with Bianca? Is my baby alright? she asked searching his face for any signs of bad news.
Jack smiled briefly. It was just like Erica to dismiss everything and everyone else when it came to Bianca. No, shes fine…
Why is Lena concerned then?
Its the phone calls…
What? Is there some law saying I cant call my daughter?
No, there isnt. There wouldnt be a problem if you were only calling to check up on her.
What are you talking about?
Erica… you have got to know how upsetting it is for Bianca to hear you tell her to give up her child for adoption…
She doesnt understand what this will do to her… Erica countered.
Bianca isnt you. She has something or rather someone you didnt have Sweetheart.
Lena.
Yes. Bianca has Lena. Not only does she have Lenas love, she also has her support. Youve seen them lately. Theyre reconnecting after so long, I can only hope when they come back from their trip, that Ill have another niece… He smiled.
You really like her dont you Jack.
He nodded. Yes, Erica I do. I have a feeling that you do as well. We know the lengths Lena will go to protect the ones she loves. Granted its been a rocky road for all of us, but I do know one thing. Lena loves Bianca with everything she has. Frankly, thats good enough for me.
I dont know if I can see the baby and not see him, Erica looked away momentarily. See what he did. Im scared Jack, she admitted reluctantly. When… when Bianca told me… when she came out, I thought I had done something wrong, that I hadnt been a good enough mother. Somehow I was being punished for all the things I had done in my life.
Erica…
No, its true. I never really accepted Biancas… her choice in… All my dreams of becoming a grandmother one day had gone up in smoke.
You still have that chance. Dont let it slip away. You have so much love in you, that it would be a downright shame if you didnt share it with the baby.
Its not the way I wanted, or wished.
Jack took Erica into his arms and held her tight as he kissed the top of her head. Sweetheart, I wish I could tell you everything was going to be okay. I cant. Dont you think that Bianca has had to think about this as well? How hard this has been on her? Yet, she still wants to raise Miranda, she wants to love her baby. Shes so strong and do you know where she got that strength, hmm? You. You gave it to her. She has seen you go through so much and still come out on top. Erica, I need you to think about this – dont look back and regret all the time youll have missed. Whos going to teach Miranda how to shop huh? Whos going to tell her all about her great grandmother? All the things that Bianca doesnt know yet?
Oh Jack, Erica said through her tears. I… I wont promise anything. I cant.
I know. All Im asking is that you at least try – not only for Biancas sake, but yours as well.
Alright.
Thats my girl, he said as he kissed her temple. Now Erica, I dont want you to tell me something merely because you think its what I want to hear.
What do you mean? Erica asked coyly.
You can play this off, but remember this: youre relationship with Bianca is in danger. If you keep pushing… youll end up pushing her away.
Erica nodded, silently acknowledging his statement.
Its getting late. Im going back home. Ill call you in the morning, Jack said as he stood up. Good night darling.
Good night Jack, Erica replied as she walked him to the penthouse door.
Get some sleep Honey, he said before kissing her and leaving.
Erica closed the door behind him and walked back to the sofa. She quickly glanced at the clock. It was still early in California perhaps shed call Bianca.
Maybe they could talk – really talk when she returned from her trip.
The last thing Erica wanted was to cause Bianca pain. Which wasnt to say how hurt she had felt after finding out about the pregnancy. No matter how much Bianca and Kendall had tried to explain, trying to show her that they had both hidden the truth to keep Erica from experiencing any more pain, she had been hurt by the deception.
Erica was once again reminded of her own rape and her pregnancy with Kendall. Tears stung her eyes as she looked up.
Oh Momma… what am I going to do? Im going to lose her if I havent already.
* * *
Lena could hear voices all around her, surrounding her. She heard Biancas voice she was calling her name asking if she was okay.
I dont know…
She thought that was Bettes voice – she wasnt sure. She had shut down. It amazed her how quickly it had happened. Im going to have to speak with Melissa about this, she thought to herself.
God damn it Lena… talk to me!
Shes swearing in front of Miranda again.
Get away from her!
That voice. I know that voice.
* * *
Bianca had rushed out of the house with Tina close behind her, when she heard Bettes frantic cry. Lena!
Bette… what’s going on!
Bianca pulled up short as she watched Bette holding Lena – rocking her. What…
Bette looked up, she motioned Bianca and Tina over. I don’t know what’s wrong… we were talking… She let go of Lena as soon as Bianca moved closer.
Lena… can you hear me? Bianca asked without taking her eyes off her. What were you talking about? As Bette explained Bianca kept trying to reach Lena. She reached out to Lenas shoulders and shook her. God damn it Lena… talk to me!
Both Tina and Bette were surprised by Biancas outburst.
What else? she said turning to their hosts.
I was asking if you two had any problems getting a donor…
Bette noticed that Bianca was going through the exact same thing Lena had gone through. What the ***** was the problem? Christ I dont need this now, Bette thought to herself.
* * *
Tina was surprised by the quickness in Biancas step as they rushed outside. Lena was sitting down with Bette holding her. Lenas was face extremely pale, it was almost as if she had received some bad news.
Tina listened carefully as Bette explained to them both what had happened. She watched as Bianca grabbed Lena by the shoulders and told her to talk to her. It wasnt until Bianca had asked Bette What else? that everything had gone to *****.
Bette had just mentioned the donor when Bianca abruptly stopped. She stood there motionless, her hands still on Lenas shoulders.
Bianca… are you okay?
* * *
Marina ran out of Jennys studio – paying no heed to Jennys shouts. She rushed next door and into the backyard. She saw Bianca grabbing Lena by the shoulders and shaking her. She heard Bianca asking a question, but Marina didnt care. Something in her snapped.
It didnt matter to her that Bianca was pregnant. No one treated Lena in that manner.
No one.
Get away from her!
* * *
Bette and Tina were both surprised by both Marinas sudden appearance and her outburst. They recovered as soon as Marina had reached Biancas side and grabbed her arms.
Get away from her!
* * *
Jenny had made it in time to see Marina grabbing a very pregnant brunettes arms. She was about to protest when she heard a voice very quietly – almost deadly in a sense say: Let her go.
* * *
The voice she had only heard briefly yesterday afternoon cut through the anger she felt in every pore of her body.
It held no warmth – no love.
It was as cold as her heart had been when she had broken Lenas heart.
* * *
Lena had heard Marinas voice – had finally recognized it. That alone had not pulled her out of her dazed state.
It was Bianca.
More importantly, it was her gasp of pain.
Lena had heard it before – had been the cause of it – she knew the sound as intimately as she knew Biancas body.
That sound, one she promised herself never to cause again had her to her feet and standing next to Marina looking into her face.
Let her go… now.
* * *
Marina had not been aware of Lenas movement, her focus was completely on Bianca.
She hurt you, Marina said in Polish.
Lena shook her head, Not as much as youre killing me now. Lena reached out and touched Marinas face. If you ever truly loved me… you will let her go. If not… I will hurt you.
Marina scanned Lenas features. She could see that Lena was not trying to basically get her to let go of Bianca. She meant what she said. Lena would hurt her in some fashion in order for her to release her hold on Bianca.
* * *
What the *****? Bette said as she and Tina stood by watching as Lena and Marina spoke to each other. She had no idea what they were saying, but she noticed the intensity in Lenas stare.
It was plainly obvious that they knew each other. It was also obvious by the way Lenas fists opened and closed that something was going to happen and soon.
* * *
Oh my God – thats Lena! Jenny said to herself. She was amazed. Marina had described her perfectly. Her face, her eyes and the intensity she had apparently brought to the relationship.
Jenny was at a loss, she wasnt sure what to do. She had ran after Marina as soon as Marina had left the studio.
Theyd both heard Bettes voice calling out Bianca.
She didnt have a clue as to who that was.
Jenny knew that this Bianca person was important enough for Marina to rush out in the middle of telling her about Lena.
Jenny was startled by Marinas behavior – she had never seen her so angry before. She had seen Bette and Tina start to move towards Marina, when she heard Lenas voice cutting through like a knife.
Let her go.
* * *
Marina slowly let go of her grip on Biancas arms. It suddenly dawned on her what she had done as she watched Lena swoop in and rapidly move Bianca away from her.
Oh God… Im sorry… Im…
Not another word, Lena told her as she led Bianca into Bette and Tinas house.
Marina… what the ***** do you think youre doing! Tina yelled.
Well take care of this, Bette told Lena.
Dont let her leave. I want to talk to her, Lena replied.
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Well,here we go again. It’s been quite some time since I’ve been able to read anything from Looking back. I’m glad that it was worth the wait,though. WOW the presents just keep coming and getting better and better. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!