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    Looking Back – Chapter 7

    Chapter 7

    So the two of you met in a park in Poland?

    Marina nodded.

    I never knew youd been to Poland, Alice said.

    There is a lot about me that you dont know Alice. The same can be said about you.

    Okay – point taken. Alice had been persuaded by Marina to hear her out, to let her tell how she knew Lena. Only then would Alice consider sitting on the story now that she knew both Bianca and Lena were in town. There was no guarantee that they would see her and no one had been able to get an interview, exclusive or otherwise from her. The only one talking was Derrick Frye, the former acting D.A., and after reading some of the interviews, he came off bitter. He had lost his job after the trial and wasnt above pointing fingers and placing the blame elsewhere. As for the rest of the participants from the trial, they had closed ranks. It seemed from Alices point of view that they were trying to protect Bianca from any more publicity. So you met at a park – what happened next?

    You have to remember what it was like back then. Lena was very cautious – you couldnt afford to make friends with strangers. You had to watch what you said, what you did. You could say that Lena was very courageous when she told me her name. She didnt know me, I could have been anyone.

    Now that the two of you are on first name bases, how did you get her to meet you again? Or more importantly, how long did it take you two to have *****?

    Alice…

    You cant possibly be shocked can you?

    It wasnt like that, Marina protested.

    Its always like that.

    Marina looked at Alice and wondered if Gabby was the cause of the cynical viewpoint Alice had. Or perhaps something or rather someone else that had caused it. Sighing inwardly she answered, Three weeks.

    Three weeks? Thats kinda slow for you isnt it?

    Marina felt flush. She knew Alice had meant that as a dig about Jenny. Marina looked down at her clasped hands, Lena… she acts older than she really is… or rather was back then. She grew up quickly, she said, ignoring the jibe.

    What do you mean she acts older? What are you trying to tell me?

    Looking Alice straight in the eye and said, She was only sixteen when we met.

    Alice did a quick calculation. Holy *****! You were twenty-two years old.

    Yes.

    What were you thinking of? I mean if the two of you met right now the age difference is no big deal. Whats six years? Holy *****. Alice had thought about some of her ex-lovers who had been older, she never had a problem with it. The only difference was, she was in her early twenties at the time and not some sixteen year old.

    I dont know what I was thinking. I had gone to the park and I saw her crying – it touched me in a way I had never known. It wasnt planned. It was wrong, Marina sighed. If we had been in London, it wouldnt have been a problem, she muttered.

    You werent though.

    No.

    I must be sick… Alice grumbled, Either that or Ive hung around Shane too long.

    Why do you say that?

    Alice shook her head, Cause, I shouldnt want to know – but I do. Its like a car accident – you cant help but look.

    Im sorry Alice – that is one subject I will not discuss.

    Okay… okay, Alice said holding her hand up, conceding. But I have to ask.

    What? Marina answered warily.

    Were you her first?

    * * *

    Yes she was, Lena replied softly.

    Was it okay? She didnt hurt you did she? Bianca asked.

    Lena smiled. The act had taken place twenty years ago and here was Bianca trying to make sure she hadnt been hurt in the past when there was nothing she could do about it. Lena pressed her lips against Biancas forehead, squeezing her gently.

    Yes, it was okay and no, Marina did not hurt me. Bianca… Lena paused, Nothing could or shall ever compare with our night together – nothing.

    Bianca slowly let out the breath she was holding. She had told Lena that their night together had been spectacular – and it was. Yet seeing Marina gave her pause, perhaps she had been lacking in some way and Lena was simply being kind to spare her feelings.

    When I was with her, I loved her and at the time, I thought I was in love with her… but nothing could prepare me for the revelation that would make any relationship before you insignificant in comparison.

    What was that?

    Having someone love you, as much as you do them – there is nothing in the world quite like it. It may not seem like much to other people, but for me, no drug – no drink – no amount of money could ever replace the feeling of being loved in return. Why do you think it was so easy for me to turn down the money your mother offered me? Bianca, my Angel, I have experienced the highest of highs, to the utter desperation that led to my suicide attempt…

    But…

    Hear me out, Lena interrupted. Before she had accepted Biancas invitation – Lena had one condition. They had to talk, about everything. From her suicide attempt to Maggies growing obsession with Bianca. Know this to be the absolute truth, know it in your heart. I would not change a thing, not if it meant Id never have you in my life.

    Bianca could not nor would she stop the tears running down her face. Although shed known how much Lena loved her – shed had her doubts. How was it possible? She wasnt like Lena. She wasnt as worldly, sophisticated or as beautiful as Lena. Yet here Lena was once again declaring her love for her.

    Hearing the words – sensing the emotions behind them, the honesty, Bianca felt whole. She felt like the most precious thing in the world and it was all due to Lena.

    Her Lena.

    Pushing herself up, Bianca looked into Lenas eyes.

    Is there something wrong?

    Smiling while shaking her head, Bianca answered, No. Not a thing. In fact, everythings perfect.

    Lenas eyebrows rose. She wasnt sure why Bianca felt the way she did, but she was relieved that the tears had ceased.

    There is one thing that could make this absolutely perfect, Bianca whispered as she began to trace Lenas collarbone with her finger. Her eyes following the path as she moved slowly across to the other side.

    Lena gasped as Biancas finger burned a path on her skin.

    Im not sure if Ive told you this lately, but you are so beautiful, Bianca confessed, not allowing Lena the opportunity to answer. There are times, when I see you… I forget to breathe. I get so lost in your beauty that the whole world fades away and all I see is you. You are my world Lena.

    Bianca… Lena moaned, her eyes fluttering close.

    Yes, she replied as her fingers trailed down the middle of Lenas chest, feeling the rapid heartbeat through her fingertips. Biancas fingers stilled – her hand resting on top of the swell of Lenas breast. She could see the effects the mere presence of her hand was causing.

    Lenas breath had grown ragged; her nipples were hard, pushing up against the fabric of the nightgown she wore. The sight was making Biancas mouth water.

    It had been so long since they had been together. Leaning forward, her mouth mere inches away from the hardened nipple. It was waiting for her and she wanted it.

    What are you doing? Lena felt her body respond to Bianca, the way it always had. Her heartbeat was racing, her mouth was dry, her hands clenching the sheets as she desperately fought the impulse to arch her back and feel Biancas mouth on her.

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