Chapter 9

Its a nice night – dont you think?

It is. Thank you Alice.

For what?

Bringing me here.

Thats okay – do you wanna sit down?

They had been walking around the small tree park silently, each lost in their own thoughts.

Alice wondering what she would have done in Marinas place.

It was obvious that Marina had gotten over her head and had no idea what to do. Alice thought that Lena should have known. It was foolish of her to believe their relationship was going to be long lasting. Then again, she conceded, to a sixteen year old – forever was either a long way off, or in Lenas case, something snatched from her grasp without warning.

Marina had not imagined ever running into Lena again, seeing her once more had brought back old feelings and emotions. The passion Lena brought out in her was unlike anything shed experienced – to this day, no one – not even Jenny had managed to surpass it, let alone come near it.

Although their sudden meeting was abrupt, she couldnt deny how much more beautiful Lena had become. Time had been very kind to her. She was also aware of the ring Lena wore on her right hand; the sight of it gripped her heart.

It reminded her of the one she had given Lena, it was a little something she thought Lena might like. Obviously it wasnt as expensive as the one she had now.

She could also remember how it felt when Lena threw the ring back. The throbbing sensation when it hit her chest. The way she had reached out for the ring hoping to catch it, only to watch as it fell to the ground as if in slow motion.

Lena had promised never to take it off, that shed never wear another and Marina believed her – it scared her to death.

It was more than she could handle.

Marina?

I think I would like to sit down Alice, she replied as they cut across the park and sat at one of the picnic tables.

How did it end? Alice asked.

I broke her heart.

* * *

Marina checked her watch for the tenth time in the past five minutes. Lena was due shortly.

She sat down on their bench, only to stand up seconds later. She was a nervous wreck.

How could things get so complicated? Why had she given Lena the ring? What had been running through her head? Would she be able to go through her plan? Could she pull it off?

Marina!

Turning around she saw Lena – for a brief moment, her plans went out the window. All that mattered was Lena was here, calling out to her.

Marina could not stop the smile from appearing on her face, or the flush of desire that shot through her body whenever she saw Lena. They embraced quickly before sitting down.

I havent kept you waiting have I? Lena asked, her hands fidgeting.

No. Not at all, Marina replied, wanting to take Lenas hands in hers, if for a moment.

You said there was something you needed to talk about.

It was now or never. Im leaving.

Lena frowned. Leaving? I dont understand.

Im going back to Italy.

For how long?

Marina looked down. She had to do it. She had to. Im not coming back.

Lena stood up and walked from the bench. Why are you saying this? she turned to look at Marina. Why are you trying to hurt me this way?

Lena, grow up. You couldnt possibly expect me to stay here could you? she asked harshly, as she walked towards her.

Stop… dont come closer.

You didnt really believe that I would take you with me? Youre sixteen for Gods sake. Marina cursed herself as she noticed Lena flinching. She had struck with deadly intent. The age difference between them was a sore subject with Lena who thought she was too young for her.

You lied to me?

Marina heard the shock in Lenas voice and almost caved in when Lena began to cry. Taking a deep breath she hardened her heart. Im not the first, nor will I be the last to do that Lena. Why dont you simply chalk this up to experience.

Experience? I… I should chalk this up to experience?

Marina watched as Lena looked down momentarily, when she looked up, Marina could not believe the transformation. Lena was no longer crying, her eyes although red and blotchy were cold, angry.

Am I to thank you for this? This lesion? Do I drop to my knees before you and kiss your feet? Tell me. I beg you, tell me.

Of course not.

What do I have to do? What can I offer you that you dont already have? My pride? Its all I have left its yours for the asking. Ive given you my virginity… my love, what more could I possibly give you? Dont just stand there, say something!

I dont love you, Marina said quietly, she looked down, unable to face her, I never have. She heard Lena gasp, looking up she became worried – Lenas face had gone pale.

I hate you.

* * *

She took off the ring Id given her, threw it at me and walked away. She never looked back, not once. Until this afternoon… I had never seen her again.

Wow. You were harsh.

I had to be.

I guess asking you if you could change it…

Ive looked back so many times Alice. I wish with all my heart that I had recognized or acknowledged what Lena truly meant to me back then. I was a foolish young girl who wasnt ready to be tied down…

You have got to stop being so hard on yourself Marina. You made a mistake, we all do. Were not infallible. Youre not infallible. It isnt as if you fucked up her life.

You dont understand, Marina said more to herself. I kept it you know, she said changing the subject.

It? You kept the ring? Alice guessed.

Yes. Every year on the day I broke up with her, I take it out and I look at it. I remind myself that I let someone very important to me go – and Im no happier for it.

Come on Marina, you cant honestly tell me that youd still be together can you? *****, youd be the ones wed look to – not Bette and Tina.

Marina smiled briefly. I can Alice. I can. I know it in my heart.

Damn.

I am, she whispered.

Are you going to see her again?

Marina looked away, Its up to her. I dont know where shes staying. Besides, what could I possibly say?

Alice could tell that Marina was no longer in the mood to talk, her friend had been through so much it pained her to see her this way. Are you hungry or anything?

No, Marina turned to Alice, But I would like to get back.

No problem.

They walked to the car, Alice going around to the drivers side, as she was about to unlock the door, she leaned forward, folding her arms on the roof. Marina…

Yes?

I wont do the story.

Marina smiled. Thank you Alice.

Lets get going.