Alice read her perfectly and stepped aside just as Dana leaned in for a kiss.

“Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“I thought…”

“That candles and momentary relief that you’re not hurt or dead somewhere translate into a night of sex?” Alice glared at Dana.

“What? No. I mean…”

“You left at seven this morning, saying to meet you at The Planet at three. You finally drag your ass in after eight with no call, no message, no nothing,” Alice was just warming up. “And you think you’ll just fuck me senseless and everything will be okay?”

Dana was silent. She had no excuse. And that silence triggered Alice’s greatest fear.

“What? Am I smothering the mouse? Believe me, I hear myself right now and I don’t like it one bit,” she took a deep breath and realized that she’d been clenching her hands so tightly that her nails were digging into her palms. “But for fuck’s sake, Dana, you scared the shit out of me.” Alice quickly turned on her desk lamp and proceeded to blow out the candles.

“I know. Al. I’m sorry.” Dana couldn’t bring herself to look up from the six inches of floor she’d been studying throughout Alice’s tirade.

“You’re sorry. That’s it?”

“What more do you want?”

“An explanation. An elaborate lie. The truth. Take your pick.” Alice threw herself into her desk chair and waited. Dana wanted to tell her what she was feeling, but couldn’t find the words.

“At least tell me you lost your phone or that the battery died.”

Nothing.

“Then tell me you were with her. I think I deserve to know that much.”

“Her? You mean Lara?” Dana’s frustration erupted. “Yes. I was with Lara. You want to know why? Because it is so much easier than this.”

Alice’s jaw dropped. Dana’s words were a dagger in her heart. She stood up, the pain written on her face.

“How can you say that? Things have been so good. What happened?” The tears came.

“I can’t breath.”

“Well boo fucking hoo. You turn to Saint fucking Lara? How could you?” Alice spat. “Especially after yesterday.”

That’s when Dana made her decision. She would leave. The three drinks she’d had made it seem like the logical thing to do. Hurt Alice now, before this thing got any bigger. Get out now before what was broken inside her destroyed Alice completely. If she did it now, then maybe, just maybe, they could find their friendship again someday.  In that moment, she was relieved that she’d asked Lara to wait for a few minutes in case she needed a ride to her condo. She found her courage.

“I don’t think this is working," Dana said quietly.  "I think we need some time apart.”

“What?” Alice was incredulous. She’d done nothing wrong and Dana was going to do this?

“I don’t know, I mean I haven’t had all that much experience, but I don’t think it’s supposed to be this hard. I can’t give you what you need, not while I still need closure with Lara.”

“How long?” Alice’s voice was cold. She was beginning to panic.

“I don’t know. A few weeks.”

“I don’t think I can live without you,” Alice said in a small voice. She was numb.

After that everything was a blur. Dana was crying and kissed her, both feeling longing and desire. She’d thought that meant Dana had come to her senses. Instead, Dana pulled away and left. Alice trailed behind, only to see that Lara was waiting for Dana. As she saw Lara reach over to kiss Dana, she turned and ran back to her apartment.

Alice didn’t want to think or to feel, mostly because she didn’t have any idea what she thought or felt. It had happened so fast. It made no sense.

She stumbled into her bathroom, took two Ambien, lay on her bed and stared into the darkness. Fourteen hours later she awoke and, for the briefest of moments, had no memory of the night before. Then she remembered.

Dana left her for Lara.

Her world crashed in on her, and with it the sorrow, tears and anger she’d pushed away as it was happening. Alice didn’t sleep for the next two days.